Ooh I don’t have makeup brushes, mainly because I don’t wear makeup 
What do I need? 
Been off line for a few days and missed so much.
@alig1961 well done on your first round and I hope it’s much kinder than your last treatment - I just wanted to hug you as you went through 3 ton of Sh1t with the last lot of treatment. It’s bloody tough. Yes not far from IOW - we went over in April before I had surgery as we could go on the ferry in our own car - stand on deck in the pouring rain with no one around us and rented a room for 3 days - took our own food as wanted something different - it poured and the wind howled but I didn’t get any bugs and my surgery went ahead and yes we had fun. So roll on next May for you.
@donna_51 so sorry - knocked me for 6 when I read your post about being postponed - I started a post but stopped - it shows how vulnerable we are - we make plans but they might change. Big hugs to you as that is just horrid and knocks you in to a black hole. Take care of you and hope the next session gets sorted soon. Btw teenagers - well! They keep us on our toes!
Friend drove couple of hours to see me today - day 6 after last session and legs were like lead over past few days - felt like 10 rounds in the boxing ring but I was allowed paracetamol which helped and managed to walk for breakfast as well hugs, tears and laughter. Feel sorry for poor hubby - felt low 2 days ago but trying to keep pushing forward - don’t want to impact his life but know that this rubbish is.
Keep going forward as best as we can …. A friends wife passed away on Sunday - just shocked and it makes you realise even more …. Baby steps forward … people ask what am
I looking forward to when the treatment is over (whenever that is!) and how do I know it’s gone. Well who bloody knows??? There is no test. All I know is do the things you want to do - be with the people you want to be with - and always be kind.
@pat have fun on Tuesday - thanks for the tip about brushes @alig1961 - I’m going 10th sept - still got eyebrows but need to know how to draw them in as I am not creative and more likely to look like Gollom the Clown 
Btw the Murder Club books are great - the 4th one was tough emotionally as you grow to get to know the characters…. Enjoy the books!
I didn’t take any so I used my fingers instead. Just say you didn’t get the email. Xx
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They’ll give you some essentials. Please do t worry. You may get tea and cake too xx
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Think I replied to the wrong people o. Some of those texts. I think @collywobbles must have been typing at the same time as me. See you on the 10th @collywobbles xx
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@alig1961 are you going to Southampton 10 September? Be good to meet you. I did get an email but didn’t read about brushed
The one on the 10th about hair re growth and how to loook after an our scalp is online. I’ve confused everyone now xx
So today took a bit of a turn. Rang the helpline for advice and ended up going in for an assessment. Turns out I had a temperature. I’ve been testing it on my forehead but clearly that’s not very reliable, so ears it is in the future! Seems to be an infection with my tooth so have some antibiotics. My blood cell count was ok for me to come home so hoping they’ll be no delays for round 5 in a couple weeks.
I’m thinking of booking the LGFB makeup course in October but a bit scared I’ll jinx my end date if I do!
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I’m booked on that one too! I also have an in person skin/make-up session scheduled on Monday to attend, although like @pat i do feel a bit nervous about attending alone and have the fear a little!
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@wjs oh no. Lucky you went in though even luckier that you could come home again!!!
@ljlj mine is Monday too!! I know I said Tuesday but I meant Monday. Maybe we are on the same course!!!
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@alig1961 ah ok good luck with that.
I’ve booked a 30 min free session with Daniel Field for Monday to understand what they suggest about hair- there’s a bit of fluff starting to grow back but not sure how to look after it! I might check out the one you mentioned too.
@wjs thank goodness you found out! Hopefully antibiotics kick in soon for you. Glad you’re back home.
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Morning all
100% recommend the look good, feel better sessions. I did one before i started chemo & they were really lovely.
It was held at the maggies centre in manchester. Ive been back for a breadt cancer support group too which was so nice too. A real mix of people going through treatment & post treatment.
Although - i still feel like all of this is just a really bad dream - like im watching a movie of my life 
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OMG, I feel like this so often-like I’ll wake up at some point and realise it’s not happening.
But it bl00dy is…I wish it wasn’t for us all!
I’m having a day full of tears and doom and gloom. I’m not even feeling bad post treatment but somehow I’ve mentally spiralled into a dark place which I’m desperately trying to pull myself back out of. I had a long chat with a neighbour yesterday, and definitely had my positive pants on and I think reflecting on that chat has made me feel really low-like I can outwardly project one thing to other people, but inside I’m terrified but can’t actually say that to anyone close. Does that resonate with anyone?
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Yes it does. Every so often I think to myself - omg I’ve got cancer. How is that possible when it always happens to other people? No-one in my family has ever had cancer so how have I got it? I don’t even feel ill so have I really got it?..- etc, etc. It does feel like one day I’ll wake up and it will all have been a nightmare.
But remember all of you lovely ladies - one day we will wake up and the nightmare will be over - no more chemo, no more surgery, no more radiotherapy. We will be battered and bruised, changed in all sorts of ways but ready to carry on and live the rest of our lives 
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@bettyb24 yep, I feel the same. If I ever have to say or write anything about bc it’s like I’m making it up or describing someone else’s life 
@ljlj … I am up and down each day/hour, it’s exhausting. I can be upbeat and looking forward to a new and improved life (fear will not get the better of me, live life as much as I can, enjoy it all, carpe diem etc… etc…!) then bam, with seemingly no notice, I’m in that black hole thinking negative dark thoughts and nothing seems to help. If my real brain wakes up for a bit then I know the negative thoughts are 1) completely normal and 2) hard to fight because I am EXHAUSTED… I can’t think straight or positive after months and months of physical and mental hard times
But I’m a real believer in having to feel all those feelings in order to get through this. I don’t think we can shortcut everything that goes with this - a bit like grief - maybe this is like grief - we have to work through it with time but also with professional help and with being really really kind to ourselves. Some days are grim, the big bag of cancer weighs heavy, we want to shake it off, get back to a time without the heaviness but we have to carry it for now - just know that the bag gets lighter and we can shove it away in a cupboard one day soon!!!
Has anyone read any Donna Ashworth poems? They’re a bit twee but sometimes the words about survival hits a spot!!!
to all xx
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I like this one !
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Those of you who shaved - how did you decide when to do it? How much hair did you still have left?
I just can’t decide what to do. I still can wear a hair band though the hair is very thin. No big handfuls coming out but I’m presuming that will be next week if/when it happens as it will be 18ish days since first chemo without cold cap
I shaved after 2 chemos. It was tough but I couldn’t stand the patchy ness…
I wear cotton beanies , I have them in a range of colours. They are soft and comfy.
Good luck with it…
I am hugely struggling a week on from my first Doxetaxel. I can’t believe I still feel awful. Achy , heart racing , pains everywhere, can’t sleep. For me so much worse than EC. I was ok a week on.
Feel very down about it. Desperately trying to turn a corner so have some good days before the next one. Oh and awful mouth taste … can’t enjoy eating anything which is pants…
Sorry … not more upbeat… it’s been a hard week.
Love to all
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