@wjs good luck with the jabs - I start mine tonight too! Just another hurdle to jump!!
Hope you enjoy the LGFB - I found it very useful. Must look up the moving on one….
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MISERABLE POST ALERT - please feel free to miss this post!!
I’m so sick of not feeling well.
Tongue - like the bottom of a bird cage
Taste - everything savoury tastes rancid, toast/pasta/cereal tastes of cardboard
Tired - beyond belief so even having a shower feels like an effort
Can’t be ar**d - with anything and just want to be left alone
Painful feet - hot and feels like cramp
Hate most people
My hair looks like Catweazle
I think that’s just about it! In my head I know by Wednesday or Thursday, or before, all this will be a distant memory and I will feel ok.
I just don’t feel like me any more. I’m starting to feel as if I can’t think about anything but my feet and tongue, cancer and forcing myself not to think about the surgery.
Thanks for listening. Feel better for writing it down.
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Well done @pat sometimes you’ve just got to let it go. That’s exactly how I felt when I was in hospital. The mental impact of chemo is just as bad if not worse than the physical. We’re all exhausted now, but everyday is a step closer. You’ve got this. Big hugs lovely xxx
Thank you 
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You share away, it’s s**! and some days you just have to let it out. That’s why this group is so brilliant, we all understand, but you’ll have better days and I hope they come sooner rather than later for you. Stay 
xx
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I’ve generally managed to stay fairly positive but I think the feet pain and tiredness have got me this time 
I’m sure normal service will be resumed soon!!
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@pat that is what’s so great about the lovely group. Get it all out, we all understand and I agree that mentally it’s just as hard as the physical side effects. We’re all just so tired of it all now. Sending you big hugs and hoping you’re feeling more normal soon.x
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@pat its really rubbish. The rollercoaster of a journey just exhausts you and catches you out each time even though you know the big dipper is coming. Hopefully there is some sunshine for you today to sit and relax. Sending hugs xx
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@pat i fewl exactly the same…
Im so tired of trying to be positive / see the tiny bit of good etc etc. Its exhausting!!!
The chemo nurse did say this feeling was expected by the stage… it didnt eeally help tbh.
So big hugs to you xx
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@bettyb24 yes that’s it I think 
People keep saying, only one more treatment to go and, yes that’s true, but then I’ve got the surgery to face and, probably, radiotherapy. Yes maybe the chemo is the hardest bit - surely surgery couldn’t be harder 
- but I’m not ‘finished’ by a a long chalk. Also, it isn’t over when the last drop of chemo drips into my arm as there’s the 10 days of side effects to deal with.
Hope you’re all having an ok day.
Love from your little ray of sunshine
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@pat yes… this is absolutely SH#T !! Well done for saying it as sometimes we do feel like we have to be as upbeat as we can, especially if we’re trying to protect others from seeing how truly horrendous this all is. Some days are better than others but even the ‘good’ days aren’t actually bloody good, they’re just tolerable! We’re all more than 3/4 through chemo and it takes it’s toll, not just physically but mentally. I actually find the mental side sooo much harder - I hate not being myself and yes, being pretty miserable most of the time. Even when I feel okay, I can’t enjoy it as I know more crap is coming or I’ll be on a downer in an instant for no apparent reason sometimes.
But surgery IS sooo much better than this… my masectomy was an absolute dream compared to these last few months and I’ve heard radio is a walk in the park too. Hang on in there Pat (and everyone else). 2025 is going to be our year. I watched a bit of strictly with Amy coming out dancing and I thought ‘that’s me next year’ … not the professional dancing bit obviously, but the smiling ‘I’m back and ready to live life’ bit.
When in hell keep going… keep going… keep going… xxx
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@donna_51 Thank you Donna, and all of you for your kind and encouraging words. I forced myself to put some makeup on this morning, as I learnt in LGFB, and it did make me feel a bit better to not look quite so awful in the mirror. I went to M and S with hubby to do some food shopping and bought myself a huge strawberry ripple meringue for later. I remembered to be grateful that on the whole sweet things taste fine, its the savoury thing that taste disgusting. The right way round in my book. I’m ridiculously exhausted now but reading your post, Donna, has reminded me me that I won’t have to have 57 repeat operations to get clear margins, I won’t be unable to ever lift my shoulder again, or have a huge elephant like arm for ever, and that I won’t have painful, tingly feet for the rest of my life. All that is possible but very unlikely.
I’m now going to listen to The Archers - tragically a habit picked up when I was in the womb 
but I know that I will soon be asleep as there’s only so much you can hear about the Flower and Produce show before unconsciousness sets in!
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Totally agree with what everyone has said and re the one more treatment. I’m grateful I’ve only got one more but like you say it’s still another 10 days if crap to get through after. Did my first injection last night and feel like a 90 year old today. I honestly don’t know if it’s the chemo or injections that make me worse. I wonder if they’ll let me reduce the injections after the last chemo?
I also watched Strictly and it was inspiring to see Amy back doing watch she loves.
Glad you managed to get out for a bit @pat and get yourself a nice treat. 
Big hugs to everyone.x
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Hi everyone … been catching up on all messages and could not agree more with the shitness of it all right now!! I’m so fed up and actually feel really angry about it all … how my life is been robbed from me right now!! It’s my sons 15th birthday today and I’ve had to send him to his dads after school cos I’m just not well enough to feel like I can give him a good birthday and it’s so flipping crap!! 
Had my second EC last week so just coming out the other side of my steroid come down … messed my injection up again and not allowed another as not sure how much I actually injected!!
I haven’t heard from my BC nurse or oncologist for over 4 weeks … so that’s also stressing me out as I was supposed to have another CT scan after this round … going to give them a ring tomorrow to see what’s happening!!
It all feels like it’s so close to the end but so far away and i feel like i am going a bit mad now!!
@bridget1 … I am so happy to hear about your daughter … that is amazing news 
@nicd sorry to hear about your reactions … i also reacted badly with Pac … so you have my full sympathy!
everyone else … always fab to read your posts and updates …
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@charlie22 I’m sorry about your son’s birthday. It’s rubbish and not fair. I think many of us have had a guts full of the whole thing. But it will get better. We will find ourselves again, and we will be ourselves again.
Phone the BC nurse/Oncologist tomorrow and give them what for. It’ll make you feel better if nothing else!!
Hugs to you and all
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Hello
Bit off topic but have any of you had a covid boaster or / and a flu jab who wouldnt notnslly get one?
Ta
I would normally get the flu one, and have been offered one. I checked with the Oncology nurse and she said definitely get one and people living in your house should ideally have one too, even if they don’t get one usually. I havent been offered Covid but maybe i should ask if I can have that too
Hi @bettyb24 … glad you asked this as I was also wondering! I haven’t been offered anything yet … and would have thought we would have been! All my children have had their invitations to have … which I have accepted so they will be getting theirs soon.
I personally probably won’t have the covid one but wil have the flu jab!
Again something for me to ask my BC nurse / oncologist when I speak to them 
Thanks @pat
@charlie22 so sorry about your son’s birthday. It’s another thing that’s crap… why not plan some 1:1 time with him in a few months… something a 15 year old boy will like (!!!). I’m planning a day out with each of my boys early next year to get rid of the ‘sick mum’ vibe and introduce the ‘fab mum’ vibe… something in London maybe doing something active. That’s the intention anyway!!
I had a covid jab before chemo but flu jabs weren’t available in May… I presume we’ll be offered one soon as we’re the ones that are now critical for these things! Another thing to discuss with the team… x
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Thanks all … I just feel so murderous last couple of days like I could really smash things and feel fantastic doing it … if only I had the strength and energy 
my poor partner is just mooching round treading on egg shells he can’t wait for me to get back to bed and watch football later in peace!
How strange @donna_51 … a London trip is on my radar with just the big kids next year as well! Something to definitely look forward to 
On the positive … how beautiful is this weather??? AND my battered old car passed its MOT today … taking the little wins!!
Hope every else has had a good day
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