Hi Td - glad you are feeling ok. know how tiring it is having shower after chemo, really took it out of me. can only imagine what your dad must be going through, with all this. must be hard.
Maz - at last, was getting worried about you. wondered if you had been poorly. i would be well annoyed if our internet died, as rely on these chats to keep me going!
all of you cyber friends - I have finally had my hair cut off! my friend came to cut it and I persuaded her to shave it off. Not completely bald yet as shaved it on no.4, which leaves it about 1cm or just under in length. getting patchy tho, so think it wont be too long before completely gone. guess what? I feel great about it. feels so much better, and was getting so fed up with hair dropping out everywhere, and sticking to my clothes. family think I look great, but love wigs also. now have a choice about what to wear and going to order a scarf of a website recommended by maggie.
not feeling brilliant today, think its because I have chemo again on thursday, and started to stew over it. seems to come round so quick. have to keep telling myself its another one over with. My daughter brought me some flowers today whilst hair being cut, got quite emotional then, but she thinks it looks better, even bringing friend round to stay tonight, so cant be embarrassed!
Anyway, glad you are all ok and will catch up soon
take care and love to all
deb x
Td - how are you donating your money? I was going to do it on line on this site. Is there any other way?
debx
Hi Deb
- I need to speak to fundraising dept as I had everyone sign a gift aid thing (just something OH ran up on the spreadsheet )so I will have to post that - also have a few cheques to BCC. If you go into fundraising there is a phone number (I think - you can def. email them from there) for info.
Glad the hair thing is going ok. You are giving me hope. god, I’m so vain!! i’ve been having a post surgery downer today too. Very odd but last week I showed everything that moved my ‘new’ tit but today I got all serious when I said to one of my best friends - ‘do you want to take a look? It’s not that nice, mind…’ I’m so glad she did look as she had steeled herself then said ‘blimey - it’s brilliant. What a good job!’ i’ve been undergoing feelings of mutilation today - the first time I’ve felt really miserable since the whole debarcle began… I’m also pre menstrual today though -so other one out in sympathy with feeling tender too, and moody…
We’re entitled!!
Big love Td xxx
Hi Ladies
I have been reading all your messages about chemo. My heart goes out to you all (don’t mean to sound cheesy!) I am so lucky as i only needed mast with no need for further treatment.
Reading your messages soon shuts me up if i start to feel sorry for myself
Cyber hug to you all
Debi xx
hi my cyber friends
Td - on top of all other operations, had a hysterectomy years ago, so sorry, cannot sympathise of the menstrual situation!!! have to tolerate it with the daughter tho! can sympathise with the post surgery downer tho, and believe me, its normal. usually takes me a few weeks before the blues come and then beware all around me! glad your friend likes your new boob. everyone likes my new ‘hair do’ and have told me not to wear the wigs/cap as think I should enter the general public as I am! not that brave tho, but will now be considering really short hair when it grows back as they say it suits me. still falling out slowly so will probably be completely bald soon enough.
Debi - love your message and you dont sound cheesy! lovely of you to chat to us. you were lucky to escape the ‘big C’. Many of my friends say they feel bad when they tell me their problems as I have always had worse myself, but to each of us, what we are going through ourselves is a big deal. I always think to myself that someone out there is going through worse, and they are.
Anyway, had blood test today - not easy again. where are the veins hiding!! Oncologist tomorrow, and if he gives ok, 2nd chemo thursday! really, really, not looking forward to it. Hope to be online thursday night, but if I am not, you know why. will catch up asap and keep you updated. wish me luck
love to all
keep smiling 
Deb x
Hi all
just to let you know, have some good news, I hope!! went to see oncologist today for pre chemo check, and after just one chemo session, he feels sure that the lump has “shrunk considerably”. we are really chuffed and all set for the next lot tomorrow. awaiting appt. now for coil to be fitted into lump to monitor progress and having a scan after session no.3.
hope to be online again soon
take care all
deb x
Hi ladies
Hope you are all well. having a bad day today. plucked up the courage to whip my top off and show my OH my new boobs. he was great, don’t know what i really worried about, but Iv’e been a bit up and down today. Wish I was as OK with them as he was. I know it’s very early days and there is still so much swelling. Doesn’t help still having these darn drains in. They are so uncomfortable. Niggling like a constant reminder of what has gone on!! Got a letter from Dr that they recommend removing my remaining ovary to minimise my risk of ovarian C. How come I never weigh less with all these bits of me they keep removing!!
Good new Deb, about the chemo, always encouraging that you had such a good response. Chin up old girl!!
Debi x
Debi - less of the ‘old girl’ if you dont mind!!!
I am only a young 42! although I sometimes feel more like 62!
hope you are more cheerful today. I sure your boobs like good and your OH will still love you, whatever. As long as he likes them, thats all that really matters, thats what I tell myself over all my bodily impairments!! When do the drains come out? Like the comment about weight loss! given me an idea. I can tell people the reason I gain weight is because of the joint replacements I have had!! they must weigh a fair bit! he he
will love ya and leave ya and be back asap, chemo today so may be out for a while.
catch up soon
chin up to
deb x
Hi debs great news … hope the chemo duznt make you too poorly
Archie glad your OH likes them …I have had mine since Jan and my OH hasnt even looked at them !! Having a c***p week this week
gonna run away x
Dear Debs and Mazaroo and anyone else,
Sorry Deb, I’m the old girl as older than you! Body of an old girl but the mind of a teenager!
Had a slightly better day today as finally got rid of one drain. Came very close to removing it myself as couldn’t get hold of Practice or District Nurse. Until OH caught me with alcohol jel, dressing and scalpel in hand. 5 minutes earlier and he would have caught me downing a tumbler of really good red wine!! After a good talking to I managed to get hold of a friend who is a Nurse and she popped round to do the deed. The above items have been duely confiscated to prevent a repeat tomorrow as I’m anticipating that the other drain will be able to come out. For any breast Nurses reading this…I do not endorse or advocate this.
I am feeling better about myself and “new boobs” today. So much so that I’m thinking of naming them. I’m beginning to think my 7 1/2 hours under a general anaesthetic has seriously effected my grey cell!s. Got a bit miffed tonight though when reading an article in a trashy mag about “Jordan’s depression over her scarred boobs”…who is about to have her 5th boob job. The woman needs a reality check!
Deb, I hope the Chemo went ok and you are still upbeat.
Mazaroo, are your boobs “undercover” by your choice or is it that he doesn’t want to see them?
Td. Are you still out there or have you gone to ground? I like the idea of yours, Mazaroo, it would be great to run away at times,but the same old s**t will still follow you.
I have a holiday booked for end of October and that’s what I’m trying to focus on. Oh, and the small matter of my daughter getting married at the end of June. speak soon
Love to you all xx
Hi archie … the whole family have seen them my daiugher ,ny son my best friend but OH cant bring himself to .dont think he ever will maybe when I get my nipples who knows,my daughter is getting married next Sept so I am focusing on that too,
As for the matter of Jordan she needs to get a grip !!! poor love …NOT
anyways of to beddy byes now hoping for a better day 2 moz
get in touch soon Debs xxxxxxxxxxx
Maz
Hi ya
just a quickie as off to bed now. why have you not been on live chat!!! quiet tonight. had chemo today, not good as couldnt find vein as really hurt. had few tears. whole process painful. feeling yuckie and tired so sleep time now.
will be in touch soon
take care and catch up soon
deb x
Hi Deb debbie debs maz et al…
No, not gone to ground - feeling much bettr and venturing further afield now (like out in the garden and down to the local shops…). Had a hard week last week - very very tired and breathless - Hb (iron count) was horrendously low post surgery so have spent a week eating meat and green veg and fruit and taking suppliments and now feeling much better… glad to hear the tumours responding so well deb - fantastic news. What’s the surgery plan???
Wasn’t on live chat last night as couldn’t hold a real converstion let alone a cyber one!!!
Td xxx
hi Td
glad you are feeling better now and getting out. Had rough three days, but hope to start to feel better soon. makes it worse knowing I have another 4 to go, before sugery and then more after. Already getting me down after only 2. Feel like poop. Lump seems to be shrinking, so have appt. late in June for coil to be fitted into it and scan and something other that we dont understand! Surgery after the sex chemos and then more chemo and radio, as far as I know. The doctors may be on hols in sept, when surgery due, so hoping it may be delayed long enough for me to take my son away to uni beforehand, if he goes to his first choice. exams over next 3 weeks, so fingers crossed for both my two.
will catch up soon when feeling better and keep up the good work.
love to all
deb x
Hi Deb -
Hope you’re beginning to feel better… I do like the typo of ‘sex chemos’ … I wish!!
I had my first planning for chemo yesterday. I’m having TAC starting in around 2 weeks. REALLY dreading it, but trying to be practicle and just look at it as yet another lying low time… trouble is that I’m not yet back on my feet after the op…
How’s your hair situation??? Onc told me that my hair WILL fall out and may start 10 days after first treatment… so I’d better get the wig sorted very soon…
Love Td xxx
Hi Debs, I have just joined the site today as I like yourself have just been diagnosed with a grade 3 4-5 cm lump!. I just read your blog and we are very similar as my consultant feels that chemo, then a breast reduction (yipee) then hormone and poss radiotherapy. I am awaiting an MRI scan before the final decision is made and that is on Monday. I lkie you was a bundle of tears when first told and I’m not saying it’s easy but I have decided to take this and beat it. I have a 7 year old son and he now knows mummy has a lump and I will need medicine and an operation which does make things a little easier. Please feel free to talk whenever because I know I will be using this site as well as the Mcmillan one.
Take care love sharon2 x
Hi Td
hope you are on live chat tonight - have missed you!!
feeling bit better today, for first time since last chemo. been out in garden and off to hairdressers soon to have fringe cut on wig!! hope to go out for lunch sat, so not sure what to wear on head, as not too comfortable with wigs. head scarf still not come yet, ordered it nearly 2 weeks ago. chemo certainly not nice, but know we have to go through it. after about a week with me, I pick up and cant stop eating! started losing my hair about 10 days after 1st one. I took advice and will give it to you - shave it off when it starts to come out too much. you will not regret it! best thing i did.
anyway, hope to chat tonight whilst watching Big Bro!!!
ttfn deb x
Hi Sharon
so glad you have joined this thread. you must be going through a very tough time at the moment. I know I was when I joined. You will be glad you came here, I have received so much support and made some good friends. After only 2 chemos, I am still finding it hard to come to terms with and still have the odd tearfull episode, but think we are entitled to. After one session, the lump seems to have shrunk, which was good news. Nervous about breast reduction, but looking forward to it to. no more back ache!! Dont know anything about McMillan site, not had anything to do with McMillan nurses mentioned to me, although people keep asking if I am in touch with them. Luckily, my twins are 18 now, so can only imagine what it will be like for you looking after a youngster. Take any help offered!! Hope all goes well on Monday, let us know how you get on.
Please come on live chat tonight, its great to escape for an hour and have a chat with all the others. Dont even need to talk about the big ‘C’ if you dont want to!!
Hope to hear from you soon
deb x
Hi Debs66, thanks for your message. I will definitely continue to use this site for support as I don;t always want to burden hubby. The McMillan site is like this with plenty of opportunities to chat with others on whatever you want to as well as recieve supoprt etc.
Love Sharon2 x
nice talking tonight Debs - now yu can BB in peace!!
Love td x
Hi Td. came on here last night to see if you were on, but must have missed you. Just read your thread on the new pjs site and sorry to hear the news, you must be really peeved. we just dont know what is round the corner and its very scary. we think we are winning the battle, and then wham! Am impressed with your outlook and courage, inspiration to us all. keep up the good work. enjoyed last night, not many on tho, must have been watching BB! catch u soon
deb x