Jill
Sorry to hear your poorly. Hope you feel a little better today
Take it easy
Lots of Love
Fiona
xxx
Hi Girls
How you both doing?
Are you feeling better Gill?
Up to anything exciting this weekend?
I have been decorating again - surprise surprise - but that is is DEFINATELY finshed for now!!
I am at work tomorrow and have a week of appointments - every day except for Friday!
Hope your both fine
Speak soon
Love
Fiona
xx
Hiya girls, hope your both ok
Jill, hope you feeling a bit better ,sorry to hear you have not been too well, hope you managed to have a nice weekend.
Fi, glad your decorateings all done (for now anyway) sounds like you have a busy week ahead, hope you had a good weekend too. The weather here has been quite cold/rainy so havent done much realy , Back working again tomorrow for a few hrs, just doing it part time though as im self employed. Ive got my sister comeing down in 2 weeks from Lincolnshire so am looking forward to that cos i havent seen her since DX so we can have a good catch up . Well hope your both ok and il chat to you both soon.
Take care both of you
Lots of love
Lindiloo xx
Hya Girls,
Sorry not been on had a rough couple of days but coming around now, a really rotten cold. Now my OH has got it and he has to go for a angiogram in the morning, not sure they will do it as the procedure requires you to stay very still and he is coughing persistently, felt sorry for him today. Be glad when he is back home, I cannot go with him as the hospital has no facilities for people to accompany the patient, so will be worried till I hear from himx
Fiona: Glad your decorating is finished, have you booked the Hello magazine spread to come and take the piccies??? lol
It sounds lovely, and you have done well so soon after treatment, so give yourself a pat on the back.x
Lindiloo: Glad you are ok and having a good weekend. How nice that your sister will be coming is she staying with you?
You will have loads to catch up on as you say and have a good girly natter. What work do you do Lindiloo you probably have told me but chemo brain is still lurking around!! x
Well girls off to make my OH a hot toddy, spoiling him a bit tonight (Back to normal tomorrow!!!)
Take Care both of you,
Love n Hugs
Jillxxx
Hi Girls
Hope you are both ok and have had a good day.
As predicted my OH got sent home from the hospital as he had a temperature and the doctor said it was not safe to do it. So will be sent for again next week. He was not up to it at all, so was relieved I think.
What have you both been up to?
Love
Jillx
Hiya girls, hope your both ok,
Jill,Sorry to hear both you and your OH have not been very well, what a rotten time of it your haveing , hope you both start to feel better soon. Hows your skin doing now?, mines all but cleared up so glad about that, i have an appointment on the 13th May to go back and see the oncoligist , just a check up i think after finishing ,do you have to go back after 6 weeks too?
Fiona, hope work went well today ,any news on the little baby girl hope shes doing ok, Glad to hear youve all but finished your decorateing , youve worked realy hard on it well done to you.
Well take care both of you and chat soon
Lots of Hugs Lindiloo xx
Hi Girls
Jillian - sorry your ohalfs test had to be postponed - hope he has not to wait too long for it to be done.
I have given myself a pat on the back about decorating - just cant wait for my new sofa - but think it will be another 3 weeks yet or so - getting impatient now.
Lindiloo - I went into work today and the little baby girl was back - she is doing well - her mum had to go home later afternoon for her other son so I got to feed her - it was great!!!
I have onc appointment tomorrow - quite nervous aboutit for some reason but sure everything will be fine - will be yous informed!!
I am not back to work till Friday then I am on annual leave next week for the big 40 - go to London a week on Thursday - really really looking forward to it.
Hope your both fine
Love to you both
Fiona
xxx
Hi Girls
Hope your both doing fine.
Had an appointment with onc this morning - did not see the big chief but they are quite happy with me . Seeing them again in 3 months just to check up. See surgeon in June and I am suppose to have mammogram on remaining breast before that appointment.
I am sitting here yawning my head off - could be doing with going to my bed - but its only 2 30 in the afternoon!!
Speak to ya both later
Love
Fiona
xx
Hiya girls, hope your both ok,
Fi, glad to hear your appointment with your onc went well and that you dont have to go again for another 3 mths, i have to go on the 13th may to see mine, and then in august again to see the surgeon and have a mamagram. Hope your haveing a nice few days off work, i bet your realy looking forward to going away to london for your birthday , awhh the big 40 eh you know what they say (life begins at forty lo )
Jill, hope you and your OH are feeling much better now, and everything is ok , its a shame your OH tests had to be cancelled, hope he gets another appointment through soon .
Chat to you both soon
Lots of love
Lindiloo xx
Hi Girls,
Did you think I had deserted the ship! Had a busy few days with one thing and another.
Fiona: Glad your appointment went well. Know what you mean about being tired, since finishing the rads I have been like that, gets to 8 o clock and I am zonked, and I am not working at the mo, so you do really well. When is your 40th Fiona? Nice you have a trip booked, you will have a great time I am sure. Can I ask you Fiona, seem to remember you saying that your had developed a red square where you had had treatment , I have got one only appeared this morning but quite tender, does it go? Glad to hear the little girl is okx
Lindiloo: Thanks for asking about OH, he is getting better now, he is very rarely ill but sods law it is when he was to have the angiogram, never mind they are rebooking hopefully for next week. My skin is not too bad, as I have just told Fiona bit tender and red, glad yours is ok now. Have you experienced the tiredness? x
Well girls, I am now off to pour a rather large glass of plonk, run a nice hot bath and chill. HEAVEN!
Chat tomorow
Keep Smiling
Lots of Love
Jillxxx
Hi Girls
Jill - My skin where I got rads is still a different colour - apparently the pigment changes and this will be permanent but its not red anymore. There is a woman I work with whos sister in law had bc, mast and recon. She too had rads and she is now getting laser therapy on area of rads to get rid of colour - dont know how badly discoloured hers was tho?
Hope you enjoyed y our plonk last night Jill?
Lindiloo - how are you doing? Up to anything?
Oh by the way - the big 40 is on 25th - we go down to London on 24th - cant believe I am 40 - that seemed ancient when I was a kid - lol.
Off to counselling today so that aint a barrel load of laughs. Might go to gym after or maybe just a swim.
By for now
Take care and Love and hugs to you both
Fiona
xx
hiya girls, hope your both ok,
Jill, hope you and OH are both better now, i know what you mean about the tiredness (me too) guess it all catches up eh, I also had a big red square patch after the booster sessions of rads ,but its gone now so guess ive been lucky havent realy got any colour disfiguration now thank goodness.
Fi, hope the counselling session went ok today for you i expect it can be difficult at times but hope it is helping .Did you manage to get to the gym after and have that swim? It will be great for you to get away for a bit to london and have some fun , dont worry about being forty lol in another 2 yrs il be fifty (Yikes) but still feel about 20 (in my head anyway lol) bodywise about 80 some days ha.
Not been working today , just went to town paid the bills, and did the shopping .was supposed to have the tv engineers in to fit the new digital ariels but he never showed up, drives me crazy waiting in for people that dont show, he will proberly show up tomorrow now but il be out working urghhhhh.
Well girls take care of yourselves and chat soon
Lots of Hugs
Lindiloo xx
Hi Girls
Jill - how you doing?
Lindiloo - counselling was as ok as it could be - the tears just flow - like opening a tap. Sat in the car for a while then went to gym and had a swim too then a while in the steam room so that was good. A week today I turn 40 - I was looking after a baby today who parents said he is 14 days old today - I said - when he is 21 days old I will be turning 40 - mum said she thought I looked 30 - hey hey - I LIKED HER!!! - lol. As you say - I feel 20’s mentally, but physically with really sore joints feel about 70!!. I am giving counselling a miss next week - just gonna have a nice birthday week - I have no work and just gona do gym, lunch, breakfast etc - cant wait for London.
You are very lucky with your skin by the sounds of it - really good for you.
Dont you just hate it when bloody tradesmen dont turn up - it really winds me up - grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dont think it will be long till I head to bed - think Suzie will be awake long after me.
You both take care
Lots of love
Fiona
xx
Hi Girls,
Hope you are both doing ok and having a good weekend. I have not been the best of Company the last couple of days really dont know what has hit me I just have been so weepy and miserable and I think I have been on auto pilot the last twelve months and it is beginning to sink in, did not feel as bad as this when diagnosed. My poor OH has had the brunt of my temper and I feel awful about it because he has done absolutley nothing wrong. Have either of you been like that, would be a comfort to know it is just not me. Just hope it passes soon. Thanks for listeningx
Fiona: I am glad the counselling is going well for you, and the tears flowing is a good thing, it means you are getting things out of your system. How is Suzie keeping now after she was not too good? Im sure she is very proud to have a Mum as good as you, Fab and forty!x
Lindiloo: Did anyone show for you? Hope so. Hope you are having a good weekend, I went shopping for an hour this afternoon but just browsed around. What have you been up to?
Well girls tomorow I am going to my cousins 50th party at my aunties house, so that should cheer me up, I have not seen her for about 15 years so be nice to catch up. So I will put my party frock on and try to stop being a ratty cow!!!
Keep Smiling girls
Love n Hugs
Jillx
Lindiloo
Hey Jill
Sorry to hear your on a bit of a downer - but please rest assured you ARE NOT ALONE!!! I think that is why I am seeing the counsellor now - when something bad happens (and I have had more than my fair share), I too go on auto pilot and just ‘get on with it’ - and sooner or later - getting on with it is gonna jump up and bit ya on the bum!! I get rid of my tears on a weekly basis at the moment at counselling - so think thats helping me. I still am a grumpy bitch with Suzie a lot of the time tho - I actually apologised to her tonight!! - poor thing does not deserve me moaning at her half the time- if I had a bloke no doubt he would get it - but sometimes we just cant help it - and I am positive your OH understands fully - so please dont feel bad. We have all been through such a lot. If you are like me - you get good at ‘putting on a face’ and I have lost count of the amount of people that have said to me ’ o but Fiona you are so strong’ - and I just want to shout and scream at them that I am not that strong - I am screaming and crying out inside - but my FACE always looks o so brave and happy!!
Sorry if that looks like I turned it on me but I did not mean it like that - just want you to feel you are not alone - and please feel free to have a ‘rave’ any time you want - thats what we are he for - to support each other.
Thanks for asking Jill - Suzie is fine after her little blip - having regular periods - Prof thinks he will have to take her back to theatre to check things out in a few months but that will be ok. Not so sure she is proud of me - just fed up of me moaning at her. She asked me on the way home last night if it meant because I had cancer would she get it??? WHAT A QUESTION??? I am seeing genetics as I think you both know - so I did not lie to her, but was not entirely honest either - said I was not sure but because I had it they would montior her closely from her mid 20’s but there was no point in her worrying about it now.
I hope you enjoy your party tomorrow Jill - but please try not to worry about the way you are feeling - am sure it will pass - but if it does not - please speak to your gp about it.
Thinking about you both
Lots of love
Fiona
xx
Hiya girls hope you are ok,
Jill, i too had a meltdown shortly after finishing rads , tears, moody,snapy ,angry you name it i felt it, i think after all the stuff thats been thrown at us and just getting carried along with it all, we didnt have time to take it all in, and now i guess its like a time to reflect and all the emotions are comeing out ,its crap isnt it all of it, and nobody who hasnt been there understands, everyone thinks (its over now, time to move on) but the reality is its never realy over for us is it. I dont think il ever get back to the carefree person i was and that makes me feel very sad . I guess we just have to keep plodding on the best we can and hope that one day BC will no longer be in our every daily thoughs. Its still early days for us all and the whole thing is bloody traumatic isnt it so its no wonder we feel this way at times. Your definately not alone in the way youve been feeling ,Big hugs (((((((((((((((())))))))))))))
Have a great time tonight, go get that party dress on ,and make sure you have a bloody good time lol
Fiona, hope your ok, glad to hear Suzie is doing ok , i have a daughter called amy shes 26 and she keeps telling me shes sure she will get BC now too, i dont have a family history of BC so i havent been offered any testing my onc just said i was unlucky ,i asked him about amy but he said she wasnt at any more risk just because i have it, im not so sure though i still think any children we have should be offered screening much earlier than the norm. I also have 2 sons,
Well hope you have both managed to have a good weekend, and will chat to you both later
Lots of Hugs to you both keep your chin up girls
Love Lindiloo xx
Hi Lindiloo
I couldnt have said it better myself - especially the bit about people thinking - its all over now - we need to be getting on with it - they sure would not say it if they had been in our position.
Jill - how are you feeling today. Hope you enjoy the party . Let us know how you are doing.
I have had a fab day today. The sun was shining - altho it was a bit fresh - but its been a fantastic day. I hoovered up the leaves, cut the grass, had about a 4 mile walk along the beach - with my ipod on, then went to gym (altho gave gym a miss) - did 50 lenghts in pool, had 10 mins in steam room and about 20 in jacuzzi - so all in all a fab day. I should sleep well tonight with all the fresh air.
Its a public holiday here tomorrow so Suzies coming back about 10 and we are going adventure golfing - there is an indoor and outdoor one so see what the weather is like.
I agree with you Lindiloo that our kids should be routinely screened earlier than they would normally be. The way I see it - when you are her 2 neg and hormone neg bc like I am - it has got to start somewhere in families.
Love and hugs to you both
Fiona
xxx
Hi Girls,
Thank you both for your kind words, they have really helped me. I feel a bit better today. Had a lovely time yesterday at the party and it did cheer me up I met relatives I had never seen, so it was lovely to catch up with them and their families… I went to the doctor today and had a chat with her, she has enrolled me on a 10 week course called “Prescription for Fitness” at the local gym, its is a 10 week course and they map a exercise routine out for you. I have been getting down about the weight issue as I seem to be just piling on each week so I am hoping that if I can lose some then I will feel a bit better about myself. It does seem quite stupid I know after everything we have been through but I cant help it, and I have never been so chubby.
Fiona: Glad you had a good day, how did the golf go? I totally agree too re the screening, I dont have any kids but if I did I would want them checked earlier. Hope you got a good nights sleep, gosh you are a busy woman!! Good on yer.x
Lindiloo:How you doing? Hope you had a good weekend . Is your skin still behaving? You are right about the plodding on bit, it is all we can do. But good to have friends who understand like you and Fionax
Thanks again girls for your posts, they were lovely and reassuring and did make me feel so much better and not quite so alone.was feeling sorry for myself I think.
I will get to that gym and be a size 10 before I know it!!! lol Treadmill here I come!!
Love to you both
Jillx
Hiya girls.
Jill, so glad you had a lovely time at the party and that you are feeling a bit better . Wow a perscription for fitness sounds brill i think i may ask my Gp if i could possibly do that too. I know exactly what you mean about the weight gain getting you down, i have put on one and a half stone since starting treatments and it realy bothers me too, cos ive never had a weight problem before . I hate it and if one more person tells me ive put on weight il deck them lol, its not nice is it and i realy dont need people reminding me urghhhhh. My onc said Tamoxifen can cause weight gain so im guessing it may be that ,or the chemo or both, i dunno but i see a stranger in the mirror these days ,what with the extra weight, army recruit hairstyle , (getting the hair dresser in next week to do something with my 2 inches lol) and still painfull wrist after chemo .God listen to me im supposed to be cheering you up (sorry) wish we all lived closer together, then we could all go to the gym and get fit together bet wed have some laughs doing it too lol. we will get there ,and your doing great so try not to worry to much, hows your hair comeing along? im gonna get some highlights put in mine next week (not bleach though) but think that will definately give me a boost, then i might feel a bit more like ME.
Fi, hope your ok , glad you had a brilliant day yesterday, gosh im so envious of all your energy, well done you , hope you enjoyed your golf today too, i used to play years ago and realy enjoyed it, its good exercise isnt it, hey not long now for the big 40, are you getting excited? when do you leave for London? bet you cant wait to go, well take care both of you and chat soon.
Lots of Love
Lindiloo xx
Hi Girls
Jill - glad your feeling a bit better - that prescription for fitness thing sounds great. I am so lucky that I dont need tamox cos I KNOW i would hate to put on weight. I lost weight during chemo, and with mum dying etc and I now sit between 8 1/2 and 8st 10 - I have not been this weight since my teens probably and I am very happy with it - hence all the gym etc - cos I want to maintain that - I suppose its the one thing I can control having been out of control of everything else in my life. I am not saying this to rub it in to you girls - but I KNOW I would also get very down if I put on weight - having spent the last umpteen years going to the gym to keep fit so I think if I was on tamox I would be starving myslef - lol.
Lindiloo - the golf was good - but it was not real golf - just one of these adventure putting things - but I have never played before and I WON - lol - the 2 boys who were there couldnt believe it - they are both 9 and have done it heeps!!.
I go away to London on Thursd for birthday on Friday - BRING IT ON BEING 40 - thats what I say. I am going into town this morning cos I have realised I dont have a dressy top for out meal on Friday night - all my dressy tops were titty ones - and of course I aint got a cleavage any more - bit sad on realising that but I want to feel dressed up on Friday so going to treat myself. Its another beautiful day here today - the sun shining always makes me feel better. I will prob go to gym after town but always feel guilty being indoors when its nice weather like this.
It is a shame we dont live closer could all do the gym - then go to lunch - lol!!
I can now get the straighteners on my hair - but am very lucky - it has grown inmuch the same colour as it was before but it has lighter tips to it (and no its not grey!!).
Hope you both have a good week - any plans?
Lots of love and hugs to you both
Wish I could do more to help you guys
Thanks for listening to me when I need it
Fiona
xxx