(hello all
please can i going your group, i was dx thur 4th and feeling really scared, need someone totalk to, partner has gone back to work but i have two boys 9 and 6 who i have not told yet,feel really down in the morning and am going to docs to see if he will give me something, op is booked for 24th seemes along time away just want it out, did any of you have a mri has i had one friday and they put a dye in, got to go to hospital on the 11th to see what type of op to have, trying to act normal for kids but finding it really hard,
my sister had bc 6 years ago and is doing fine,but she is working alot so cannot talk to her, sorry to ramble, but think you are the noly ones who will understand please reply julie
hi Julie - so sorry you’ve had to join us but you’re welcome…I have 2 kids, son 10 and doaughter 16, we told them as soon as we got home from hospt mainly as I was in a bit of a state and we couldn’t have hidden it from daughter as she would have sussed, son maybe but not her bless! Its a horrible time just after you find out - its all you can think about 24/7 but it does get easier - once you are at the surgery stage at least you feel as if you’re getting somewhere - it will be got out, you can recover, look after yourself and get better. Kids adapt a helluva lot better than we think - they’ll be more interested in scars and stitches bless 'em. Tried to prepare mine for the fact that I might have to go on to have chemo or strong medicine to make sure I get better and may be ill because of it but nothing tooooo drastic and I did indeed need to go onto chemo and so far so good. They’re even ok about baldy head now and that was daughter’s big worry…you’ll get there, keep talking to anyone who’ll listen and look after yourself…mary x ((((hugs))))
julie - try to talk to your sister, I bet she’ll be really good to talk to…and of course post away on here on any bit you fancy - it helps to know that others are coursing the same road!!
Hi Julie
I too have two boys and i had a mri prior to mastectomy and at least
you know they are doing all the right testts before they operate. When i was in your position i remember all i could think was get this thing out of me but i am glad they did all the tests now as they discovered another site on MRI (this meant i was upgraded from lumpectomy to mastectomy). I had mine on 6th January and now nearly half way through chemo - i start taxotere on 21 april. Every bit of this is scary and it is hard to talk to anyone because you dont want to frighten or worry them. I have been quite honest about each step with my children and so they know what to expect and are taking it in their stride. u are right about this site, i am on here a lot just to feel that i am not going mad and read sound advice etc…!!
all the best
Linda
Hi Julie sorry but im the one having a bad day today after just starting chemo cant be that bad as this is my second time on her today lol , surgery less than 4 weeks ago so very early for me too , Daugthers six seven on saturday and found her with my false boobie under her top and son is 11yrs his quite about it at mo but knows im there to talk when he wants , Im really luck as parents have taken them away for a few days while I get over my first chemo session …
Hi Ladies any tips for feeling sick only finished my three day course of tabs today just woundered how to controll it myself…also steriods finish today will i start getting my owm energy back when they finish
LLLLLLLLLLisa
thankyou all for your advise,how lond did you have to wait for surgery after being dx or did you go private,three weeks seems along time and am worry my bc will get worse in this time, thanks lisa lisa your children are similar ages to mine, i told my boys yesterday that i have got to have a op,but have said nothing else at the moment, my 9 year old got a bit upset as i have never been away from them before, but has said not more
hello elljaydee, how often do you have chemo, do you have to have rado too, it is good to come on here and talk to people in the same boat, i don`t now about you but i found some sites that uset me some am going to stick to this one.
hello kittenkat,
i am worried about the chemo side, because my son got very upset about all the imagies that were in the new of jade goody and i think he will just assosiate the baldness with her, do you have advise for head gear should i need it, or should i go for a wig,hope you are all having a good day please keep talking thanks julie
hi elljaydee
i too work with children in a nursey, on easter break at min , but dont think i will be going back for a while, will miss the littly thouugh , 2 to 3 year olds
j x
julie - when I was diagnosed the cons booked me in there and then 3 wks later for surgery, it did seem a long time as you just want to get on with it and get it out…my daughter who’s 16 was really twitched about my hair falling out - she had visions of it literally just pulling off from my head in clumps so I said I would get my friend to shave it off completely once it started - she said she was worried I’d look really ill with no hair and obviously not like her mum. I had a wig sorted before it started - they gave me a wig prescription at the oncologist’s appt to take to the wig place and also had some scarves - have a look at bohemia-fashions.co.uk, I got the padded front (only lightly padded) cotton ones and one of the cotton jersey padded front ones and love them, they are more comfy than the wig but I like to have the hair for going out etc although am getting used to the scarf too, I just feel as if everyone knows there’s sommat wrong when they see the scarf but thats just me. My son who’s 10 says I look better in the scarf and doesn’t like the wig at all…see also chemochic.co.uk has lovely soft sleep hats, just plain and soft and comfy on your head when hair is coming out in bed and its quite sore when its stubbly too…mary x
thanks that really helps , i am more worried about what other people are going to think, and also my sons, how quick did your hair start to fall out, how many chemo have you had
julie x
Hi Julie
The ladies on here have been great and have loads of advise to give ,
id been misdiag… and was being treated for breast abcess in hospital for 2 weeks before op , so when they did find bc on Monday id had breast removed by the Wedmesday was sent to private hospital so I could be opped on asap …( not that im grreatful sorry still very bitter with that issue …)
But I think you will find reading on here it varies im sure now they know you will get the best care avail…
I also know what you mean with the press ect at mo and age of our children I have explained to my eldest that yes I will be bould the same as on tv ect but mine is different to what the ladie on tv had ( which as i have bc is not telling him any lies ) I think bieng as truthful as poss with out them having to suffer from this as well, sound hard but thats what I want to try if poss .
I must be feeling better as still on here but need to tell the ladies that I had to chase my own wig referal today as im nearly 5 days into my chemo on fec and we have a bank hol did start to panic … Spoke to shop who didnt know how i was and with out referal would not let me take a wig …
Any way going over to shop Tues ( 1st day open that I can get there if not still so sick )Hope still have my own hair then 11 days in …Good jod im on the ball or id have no hair and no wig …
ps julie 5 day on from chemo no hair loss yet keep you posted …
Will let you know what I choice might even put photo on
Speak soon Lisa .
Hi Linda
you say you start your taxotere on the 21 april ,
Im on 3 fec then 3 with
something begining with T sorry was given so much info that day …
Ill find out the full name the reason for this I was told these 1st 3 are the worst then the following three treatments ( sorry T…something) dont have such bad side effects could you keep me posted , give me some thing to look forward to down the line .
All the best Lisa .
julie - I have had 2 cycles of chemo and hair started to come out day 14 after chemo, thought it would be ok till weekend till I got in the shower and it was everywhere,mine was very short anyway and as my daughter was so worried about seeing it come out my friens shaved it for me and I wore my wig or scarf - I was very tearful on the day it was shaved but think it was the anticipation of it, once it was off I was fine and I soon got used to it although kept grabbing for towel getting out of shower to wrap round head and didn’t need it! I wore a soft sleep cap in bed to stop it going all over the pillow and that helped too.
There is a really good book you can order from here called Mummy’s Lump which a lot of ladies have said is really good to read to younger kids and even older ones and I ordered a booklet on Talking to your children about breast cancer…mary x
Hi Julie
If you would like a copy of the the book mummys lump, which mary referrs to just follow the link below for more information:-
breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/nav.718/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/18
The publication produced by BCC on talking with children has been written to provide help and support when you need to talk to children about breast cancer. If you would like a copy please go to:-
breastcancercare.org.uk/upload/pdf/talking_to_your_children_about_breast_cancer_0.pdf
I hope you find this helpful.
Kind regards Sam (BCC Facilitator)
hi
thanks mary, i was talking to my sister today who had bc 6 years ago, she said that she went on holiday to majorca just after chemo and when the y landed at airport it was windy and her hair was blowing out everywhere, i had to laugh, is you daughter ok with your non hair now, i go tommorrow to see what op i have so not sure what treatment i will have yet,my bcn gave me a copy of mummys bump, but i have not used it yet, as i told my son i have got to have a op and at min he has not asked anything else, i will explaine when i now what treatment i am to have, my sister has said that if the time comes she will shave my head, and cry together,
take care julie
julie - yes she’s fine now, think it was the thought of it all bless her, I keep telling her that the oncologist said my hair unlike his would grow back…prob white and like a loo brush knowing my luck - I now have hair envy and can’t actually see myself with hair anymore - makes a change from boob envy that I had early on when I’d look at the soap actors and think ha! wait till you find a lump…ha…yes sense of humour has always been iffy…mary x
Mary ,
Do you feel more comfortable with scalfs or wig ??
how long ago did you lose it , I read that when some treatments change hair can start to come back even though treatment is still on going so lets hope so …
Know what you mean about tv first time in 6 days ive been able to look at tv ( Due to first chemo ) and I too look and think they need a fringe there hairs so fine bet she never had chemo ECT how mad !!!
If it helps I am a hairdresser oh joy ( so got clippers ready !!!)
It sounds really cruel but when new hair comes through it will be damaged and I would of thought for most of us very very fine , If your brave enough putting a short clipper cut through will really thicken the new hair up …
Get me … Long foiled high lighted hair and Im on about clippers …
Speak soon
Keep up with the advise its great Lisa X
morning all
glad it not just me that has thoughts like that,i was out shopping yesterday and everyone was being normal why!!!
lisa do you live far i might need a good hair dress! i`m in leicester, also good luck for your daughters birthday
julie x
Lisa - mine started coming out on day 12 after chemo but not too much, by day 14 I got in the shower and it coming out all down my back, front, the shower wall etc so by the time I got out and dried it looked very sad - it was short n fine anyway so my friend did just that with the clippers - took the guard off and clippered it off - daughter said I looked like her uncle(!!) or a plumber. I had the wig ready but felt very conspicuous in it as if everyone knew it was a wig but lots of people have said how natural it looks - I like to feel normal with hair but honestly the scarves are comfier - they are pre-tied ones so easy to slip on. I find I get a headache sometimes with the wig so today when I went for my blood test I just wore the scarf…getting brave now! mary x
hi went to see wig ladie 2 day as feeling better , tryed a few on looked ok but colour wrong , goin 2 her shop on tues 2 try differnt colours told her what col i liked and asked if shed order it .
said no as when it comes i may change my mind about colour it will be nearly 2 weeks then and still need to order it ( ladie kept saying dont worry be ok ) ALRIGHT FOR HER SHE GOT FULL HEAD OF HAIR !!! MEOWW…
aNY WAY LADIES KIDS 5 MINS AWAY HEAD ACHE TABS AT READY
I have missed them
Momms back >>>>>>
Lisax
I chose mine last week, and pick it up next Tuesday. The first one she put on me made me look like Thelma off Corrie. But the third one was nice, a snappy short style with blonde highlights on top! I have a rather large head (it’s all them brains wot duz it) so it might be a bit tight at first but she said it stretches.