@louisea77 - it’s really good to hear from you - you I can’t believe it’s most likely a year since diagnosis for most of us … so much has happened … it sounds like you’ve been through the wringer too 
I ve got a silicone prosthetic too and I’m much happier with it on . I feel like me again and bought some nice bras … it’s crazy how off kilter you feel with just one boob … although I’ll be honest enough to say I’ve enjoyed taking at least one boob off in this heat 
I went back to work in April too and I’m just floored and exhausted but I enjoy the sense of normality …
Good to hear you aren’t suffering too many side effects on the meds …I had to stop my targeted therapy infusions as despite high dose steroids I was still having reactions .
That first mammogram after diagnosis is such a scary one I think … you are so aware of the fact that things might not be ok … it’s such a relief when it’s all fine x
I just thought I’d pop in here and say hello. I hope you are all doing well and managing to deal with life. How is your hair doing? Mine is just plain weird - all over the place and still very curly. Not sure what to do with it!
I had a six-month review with the surgeon on Thursday so nothing to worry about and am now on a 12-month review, plus obviously annual mammograms…three monthly blood tests for the Abemaciclib and six monthly for the bone infusions…!
I’ve been seeing a counsellor which has been helpful in coming to terms with it all. It’s, as the surgeon said, living with uncertainty, but she has really helped with this.
It is hard to remember what chemo was like now, although I have go to back to the chemo ward for the bone infusions, so that was quite tough - at least it was only a 15 minute session.
Anyway, I hope you are all doing well now in this afterlife! Take care and much love. xx
My hair is getting right on my tits, I cant do anything with it, my husband said I look like Gary Glitter, which isn’t really the look I was going for!
That’s not very helpful . I can’t decide if it’s better to get it cut or endure the mad look until it grows out. I keep meeting people who pass me by without recognising me!
He’s not wrong though! It was the pixie cut decision that was bad for me, totally unmanageable!
Hello @flower5 and @flojo sorry I’ve been absent due to overwhelm and various stresses … seems hard to believe that a year ago we were getting ready to start our chemo .
Hair wise . Well I’ll let you decide for yourself … I look like my grandma
You look beautiful!
You look lovely 
Very kind of you both! Thank god for Max factor pan stick make up
(Hides the wrinkles )
How are we all health wise ? I’ve had a bug for about three weeks now and I just can’t shake it 
That’s no good is it. I hope you feel better soon. I’m ok physically, but struggling a bit mentally. I saw the surgeon a week or so ago so all ok, but got myself in a panic beforehand. Then I think it struck me that it’s nearly a year since we started chemo -my first was 1 Nov. And then I started Googling my particular cancer and got myself in a funk about the prognosis. So I’m trying to remind myself of what the consultants told me, rather than Dr Google. x
@flojo if it’s any comfort at all my MH health has been struggling … while we were actively undergoing chemo … everyone was supportive and I felt like I was being proactive “kicking cancer into touch “
Especially as I had to finish my herceptin early … I started feeling down thinking That as it’s her2 and I’ve had to end treatment early that I was just going to be riddled with mets … my hospital refered me to the psychiatric team again abd I’ve started counselling … no one thinks about the fall out if treatment … everyone assumes you are “better” and support fades away … while you are left wondering if it’s going to come back and panicking about every twinge
I hear you completely. I hope the counselling helps. I’ve also had a few sessions and it’s useful to try to work things out and move forward. But it doesn’t take away the fear. On the one hand, I want to make the most of life and on the other, I want to hide away from the world.
@flojo @arty1 I know you posted a while ago but wondered how you were doing.
I finished capecitabine on 4 December and got the all clear from my last CT scan on 5 Dec. Of course I’m relieved but I’ve found the post treatment anxiety and exhaustion extremely difficult. I’m just convinced it’s going to come back. And I weirdly miss the bubble and support which has popped and disappeared 
I’m having counselling but it’s not quite hitting the spot. I’m booked onto the the Maggie’s course in Feb but I’ve been recommended to see the GP for antidepressants. I just don’t know what to do for the best.
Everyone thinks it’s over and life will get back to normal but I don’t know what normal is anymore…
@mumsy Congratulations on finishing active treatment 
it’s a relief when treatment ends but without a doubt it’s definitely replaced with a new anxiety that no one prepares you for - I’m also having counselling and I completely get what you mean about that protective “bubble” .. I wish it was talked about more during treatment x
Hi @mumsy and @arty1 good to hear from you both. And well done on getting to the end of active treatment and a clear scan @mumsy. I won’t lie. It has been really tough. Everyone says finishing treatment is a tough one, but the worry is never ending. I’ve found Christmas hard as this time last year, I was in the middle of chemo. And I can’t help but wonder what things will be like next Christmas. I am also niggling away slightly about New Year.
I too am worried it’s only a matter of time before it comes back. Counselling helps, but I’ve had a bad cough that’s going around here, and hurt my ribs coughing, so have been worrying that it could be more sinister. Hopefully not. But it’s made me really tired and realised that my immune system is a bit shot to pieces.
I would say do whatever you need to do @mumsy. I totally get that everyone thinks you are back to normal. I read somewhere that having cancer is like going through a glass door. You can look back and see the people and life on the other side of the door, but you can never go back there. You need to find a way of living in the new world. One of the best things I have done is an exercise class with BC ladies. We have carried on meeting and I feel so much better when I’ve had a meet-up with them because they get it in a way others just don’t.
I’ve been on a mild anti anxiety pill since diagnosis.
Take care and just give yourself the time and space you need. It’s a massive amount to come to terms with and to carry. I hope 2026 is a positive one for you. You’ve kind of done the hard work. XXX
Oh gosh @flojo It might sound crazy but it helps to know I’m not alone - I’ve had rib pain on my liver side and had stomach issues and I’ve convinced myself it’s spread to my liver and stomach .. I haven’t really enjoyed this Christmas as I just feel gripped with fear like stage 4 is inevitable you know ? Not a good mindset to be in I have to admit .. I asked to do the moving forward course in Jan but didn’t hear anything
Bless you @arty1. Totally in the same place. I guess it’s probably normal. I hope your pains settle down. It feels like we all need a bit of good luck for a while at least! I did the online moving forward course, which was good - everyone is different physically, but emotionally in a similar place. xx
@flojo a friend who had breast cancer twenty years ago said she wasnt prepared for the emotional meltdown she had afterwards .. I think it’s normal and I know she lives well now and enjoys life x
I get rib pain now and then more when I’ve eating too much, I told my oncologist this way back in may after I had scans done and there was nothing there. She said it may be inflammation of the ribs, I used to get it now and them but now it’s when I’ve eaten to much, hope everyone is well! I have an appointment with my plastic surgeon to talk about phase 2 of my diep surgery so hopefully some nipples! Finished my herceptin on the 7th Nov! Not been on here much, I’ve kind of just been getting back to life 
@flojo tbh I can’t decide which part of nd hurts the most at the moment 
@shannon27 Relieved to hear your pain was nothing to worry about , I did get a lot of pain on my surgery site too but I’ve definitely started getting right sided tummy pain and lots of bloating etc after eating . I’m worried.. I must bite the bullet and go to my gp . the next phase of surgery sounds much more fun !