Sending hugs to you Cookiie, think I may be approaching the time when the painkillers are in order and I’m only on day 6 today. For some reason I’m finding the rads more scary than my previous 3 ops, probably because you can’t see anything that’s happening to your body so your mind goes everywhere. I don’t see anyone else generally at my sessions as I’m whisked in as soon as I get there. Better than being kept waiting I suppose but sometimes a chat would help. Xx
Hugs back to you Fuff - I think you’re right about the rads. It’s the whole thing of being left in a room whilst a machine is whirring and moving round. I have to hold my breath as its on my left hand side & I worry that my heart will get damaged if I don’t do it properly. The machines are so clever though. Not so much pain today, my boob has felt almost pre-menstrual throughout. It was definitely a bit pink today but so much better than yesterday. ? Xx
Still waiting for my casserole …
Had seconds from yesterday’s beef stew tonight, tasted even better. Might have fish and chips tomorrow, as a treat for being a good girl during my rads! No 6 done and it was very busy today, seemed to be full of elderly ladies. Oh I forgot, I am an elderly lady!!
Hello ladies. I stumbled across you today. I had lumpectomy and node biopsy last Friday. Feel so tired, slept all day today but feel better for it - very light-headed yesterday. Awaiting appt for results. Sick to death of people telling me how strong I am and how important a positive attitude is - I just can’t seem to get there yet. I’m enjoying following your banter.
Hello Sara and welcome. We all have to have a good sense of humour here, even if it is a bit black at times. We all know how each other is feeling as we’ve been there so feel free to have s good rant when you need one! I’ve had 3 lumpectomies and a sentinel node biopsy since I was diagnosed, finally got a clear margin at the third attempt. Call me the queen of lumpectomies lol. Now having 25 sessions of rads to mop up any stray bits, on day 7 tomorrow and just starting to cook gently. The waiting for results is horrible and really fries your brain. I swear I will kill the next person who tells me to stay positive. If I want a snivel and a meltdown (there have been many over the past months) I’m going to have one, so bugger off! Be kind to yourself and rest when you can. The physical and mental effects of it all are exhausting. Sending you hugs. X
Welcome Sara
sure you will have a good laugh on here dont k ow what I would have done without this forum its a good way of off loading if ur down we have all been there we are all in the same boat so we are the people that really understand how you are feeling…nobody knows until they have been in the same situation …hope you enjoy joining our chats take care x
Christine x
Lovely to log on and read your replies, this morning. I’ve set myself a few small goals for today to get me in a more positive frame of mind. I have developed a strong sense of self-loathing of my body - did anyone else feel that?
Morning ladies. I was up late last night packing hundreds of the waterproof thermometers my business sells for a client, who looks after funeral homes around the country! Only using them to check the hot taps in the offices won’t scald anyone by the way, in case your imaginations are working overtime, lol. I had some very weird dreams I can tell you.! Perhaps it was the jam butty I had with a cup of tea at midnight. Had a sudden desire for one, had to be black currant on white broad, very bad for me but delicious. Today is day 7 of the rads, only 18 to go! Starting to radiate heat from the boob now I notice I was told to expose it to the air as much as possible but bit worried I might forget when the postman comes! Could traumatise him for life, especially as I’m an H cup! Xx
Hi Sara. Sorry you have to be on this site. I found I couldn’t touch my affected breast during treatment because it felt like a lump of dead meat. I have only been able to treat it as part of my body again recently. I felt like my body had betrayed me (though perhaps it was me that had betrayed it by expecting too much of it). I think you develop a new relationship with it over time. Lots of luck with your treatment.
Morning everyone,my casserole/crumble/soup never arrived ,guess Im going to have to summon up the energy to cook something healthy myself then ???
Hi Sara,the be positive thing did my head in,I don’t think there was a time I have felt less able to be positive in my whole life.Will being positive make any difference to my post surgery results I said to my friend on one occasion?Brave,well we have no bloody choice do we,can’t say “sorry I’m not brave enough to deal with this so I won’t bother”!!!But like Marcella and others have said it does get easier and feel less overwhelming and a bit of black humour with people who understand does cheer you up .
Sorry Jill that your casserole/crumble never arrived. I tried sending you some of day 2 beef stew but it clogged up the Internet, lol. Asked OH to buy a small chicken so I could fit it in the slow cooker and he returned with one that must have been injected with human growth hormones, it’s huge! Not free range either and I don’t like to buy chicken that’s not. Once went round a battery chicken farm and swore I’d never eat them again, it was so awful. Same with eggs. Anyway, would be as bad to waste it, so will give it a good roasting with some garlic and lemon. Do rads affect your hunger sensor in the brain? All I can think about lately!
Sara, it is difficult to carry on living your body when it doesn’t feel like yours any more. All I can say is that I try to think of me and the boob going through it all together and we’re battling it together too. Don’t get me wrong, after 3 ops it’s looking rather sorry for itself, although I had a great surgeon who must be very good at needlework! Gradually acceptance came with me and I I took on board that being alive was more important than worrying about a mangled boob or lack of one. It will take time for you too, as it’s all too soon for you at the moment and the shock and realisation that you actually have breast cancer will still be raw, even if you think it’s not. Take heart and keep posting, so we can support you. I really don’t think I could have got through so far without the forum and amazing support from people I’ve never even met. Xx Francine
I think for some reason radiation may make you hungry I was ravenous through my treatment.It could also be that I had such a lot of travelling /sitting around etc that I filled it with thoughts of nice food.
Welcome Sara everyone has given you good advice already . Just enjoy the forum, you can laugh and cry with us . Ps have you got a slow cooker x
Just rustled this up for you, Jill ?
Thanks for all your support - so glad I found you all. I think I qualify for membership because not only do I have a slow cooker but I also have a soup-maker. I made spicy butternut squash soup this week - yummy and healthy with feta cheese crumbled over the top (though maybe not the doorstops of crusty cob and lashings of butter). Been for a walk round the block this morning - first time since op, so a milestone, I reckon.
Thanks for the casserole Marcella,can you send a slightly bigger one next time,cheers !!
How long have you got to wait for your results Sara?