Beth, so glad you’ve got a plan, sounds cool, you go girl!
Well, now recovering from a bout of flu - what is it with holidays & picking up bugs!
Will arrive in Auckland tomorrow to see our eldest, can’t wait!
Anyway, love & hugs to all
ann xxx
Beth have you got an I pod or something similar? You could just plug yourself in and listen to some music and totally ignore him.
Your totally amazing in the way your dealing with this… go girl.
Ruby your totally right if we were all there he’d be hung drawn and quartered!!
Lily I’m ok and spending quality time with my daughter I do my jobs in the morning then we watch dvds or play games in the afternoon it’s lovely xxx
I’m loving the pics xx.
Hello to everyone. 
Charys has been very quiet.
Tons of love and hugs Clair xxxx xxx
Beth, have a good day today, and freeze his ***** off!
I’ll be with you in spirit today Beth xxxx
Ann a special day for you today and better than any flu remedy. Have a wonderful time. A beautiful day in Devon made better by not going to work until tomorrow. Beth I hope our virtual selves are keeping you strong. Love to all of you xxx
Good morning Willows,
Ann, enjoy your day and family reunion in Auckland. I’ve just had an email from my cousin in NZ. I would love to visit, one day maybe.
Janey, enjoy your day off, Glad the sun is shining fir you. It’s doing its best to fight its way out from the clouds here.
Beth, hope the pig man (no offence meant to pigs) is feeling the ice from you and all of us today.
Shortly setting off for my second counselling session. I could do without it as had hardly any sleep last night. After much improved nights of flushing recently theyve come back with a vengeance, plus the shoulder is getting worse. Still, I checked and my appointment for the injection is Monday not Tuesday so one day less to wait. Tuesday is himselfs birthday so just as well really.
Hope the rest of you are all having a good day xx
Hello lovely ladies. I’ve just been having a catchup read and concur with the masses in thinking Beth’s partner is a dismal being. Karma is going to his arse!. I had my six week check with the radiotherapy oncologist (or rather the resident as I am a ‘non-complicated patient’ ha, they obviously haven’t spoken to my husband) and it was very interesting. I asked a lot of questions and got some answers, some maybes and a bit or reassurance. I am going to start back on the Tamoxifen next week and taking the 20mg, he agrees with the oncologist that 10mg isn’t going to back a significant difference. It felt funny going back to the oncology unit six weeks on. My fav nurse came in while I was having boobs checked so it would good to catch up with her and the regular ward clerk and I had a quick catchup too. The whole five weeks of treatment has a dreamlike quality now. The lymphodema nurse used a machine to check my lymph and use the numbers as a baseline and she felt I was low risk but gave me some info. I also saw the GP after that about my shoulder which is still causing me pain. I had an ultrasound and xray this afternoon and it looks like I may have bursitis. Going back to the GP for confirmation and referral to a physio to get some treatment and exercises to do. It was playing up before surgery and rads and I think the combo tipped it over the edge.
Lovely to read how you are all going, the highs and the lows, and the continued support and genuine caring xx
Yay my first proper week back at work done, I can have a lie in tomorrow. So proud of myself that I have done it and do not feel that bad for it either, hopefully it will remain that way this week and I dont crash tomorrow. Have my apt with my counsellor tomorrow afternoon so it will be interesting to see what she has to say.
The weather is much better here today and it is dry but not really a garden tidy afternoon me thinks xxx
Wonder how Beth is getting on 
Helena xxx
Well done Lady Helena, make sure you do rest up tomorrow and I et the weekend, tiny fairy steps at first, ease yourself in xx
Lee, I also had/Have bursitis, tendonitis, plus frozen shoulder. Had it both sides. Physio didn’t help and I eventually had cortisone/steroid injections both sides which unfroze shoulders so then was able to do the physio exercises properly. Didn’t ever get back full movement but the pain went completely. Now left side is agony and right side is slowly getting worse. Injection booked next Monday. Hope yours improves with physio, but if you do need injection, It works like magic.
Had second counselling session. Didn’t cry this time, more of a cosy chat. I did tell her that I’m worried that I’m neglecting housework etc whereas in the past when I was working long hours at a stressful job I always had a spotless house, now I just can’t be a***d to do much. She said it was normal behaviour having worked all my adult life then suddenly stopping, and with the cancer on top, treatment, recovery and now the adjustment and coming to terms with everything I’ve got to get through it’s a healthy reaction. Yay, now got permission to have a mucky house, result! Xx
Well done Lady Helena, make sure you do rest up tomorrow and I et the weekend, tiny fairy steps at first, ease yourself in xx
Lee, I also had/Have bursitis, tendonitis, plus frozen shoulder. Had it both sides. Physio didn’t help and I eventually had cortisone/steroid injections both sides which unfroze shoulders so then was able to do the physio exercises properly. Didn’t ever get back full movement but the pain went completely. Now left side is agony and right side is slowly getting worse. Injection booked next Monday. Hope yours improves with physio, but if you do need injection, It works like magic.
Had second counselling session. Didn’t cry this time, more of a cosy chat. I did tell her that I’m worried that I’m neglecting housework etc whereas in the past when I was working long hours at a stressful job I always had a spotless house, now I just can’t be a***d to do much. She said it was normal behaviour having worked all my adult life then suddenly stopping, and with the cancer on top, treatment, recovery and now the adjustment and coming to terms with everything I’ve got to get through it’s a healthy reaction. Yay, now got permission to have a mucky house, result! Xx
Hellloooooo all,
I’ve had a quick read back two pages, but it tells me that I’ve missed 114 posts !!! since I last looked in here…and I haven’t time to catch up with that many lol. Lovely to see that you are all still going strong with the supportive chatter. I just found this wee quote to share with you…
‘I want my nails and makeup done in the middle of a crowded department store, as much as I want my smear test done at the dump’.
Alice White (don’t know who she is…anyone know?)
Hello lovelies,
Lesley your counsellor sounds fab I like her thinking re housework :-D. I totally agree with Helena priorities have changed I’m not half as worried about housework as I was. Mind you I can’t wait to get in the garden again and start sorting it all out.
It’s been a beautiful day today and I had a lovely lunch catching up with some special friends.
Beth I’ve been thinking of you and hope your days been ok big hugs my lovely xxxx.
Hello Lee it sounds like you had a very productive meeting, it all does go by in such a wizzz. It’s good to have time to reflect xxxx
Enjoy your time off my lovely lady H xxx xxx. Hello Charys, what a fab saying and totally true 
xxx
This week has gone so fast I can’t believe it’s Friday tomorrow. Catch up later xxxxx
I wanted to share something with you which has had a profound affect on me this week.
On Monday night whilst making a cup of tea in my very favourite china mug that my best friend bought me 23 years ago, I knocked it off the side it fell on the floor and smashed. I was absolutely devastated and in tears, as this mug had been through so much with me. It was a Roy Kirkham Lazy Days mug with a black and white cat on the front.
Colin asked me if I was going to try and get another one, but I said no because it would never be the same. I told my friend and she was amazed that I still had it after all this time especially as she knows how clumsy I am.
I was telling a colleague at work who said, no not the same mug but what she needs to do is to buy you a new very different one, she thought it was perhaps a sign of letting go of the past and what I have been through and a new mug would signify a new start. I text my best friend and asked her if she would buy me a new but very different one and she replied “of course”.
Excited now as I wait to see what the new one will be like. Oh and by the way, the old one in bits is still sitting on the window sill as I can not bear to through it away
Sorry for the long post but it has really made me think about new beginnings this week and moving on.
Helena xxx
Afternoon everyone
so my meeting came and went. Went to meet him in the agreed place thinking he might be a gent and drive the 110 miles but nooooo. I pulled up in my car and he was waiting and just got in. I’m really tired and sore now and driving on these country roads has made everything swell a bit again. Hopefully it’ll settle over night. As I’ve been told, “you’re back now so you must just get on with it”. Easier said than done a***holes.
Anyway, I’ve been in touch with someone for some advice and we’ll go from there.
I did have a wry smile to myself today when i looked in the rear view mirror and imagined you all sitting there in the back!!! ??
How is everyone out there?
Time me for me to catch it on all today’s posts now.
Huge hugs all around
xxx
Oh Helena that’s made me a bit teary in a good way, it’s very true we do need to let go and move on as someone said to me “we want to turn back time to where and who we were before.”
But I know I’ll never be that person again and I’d like to think I’m a better person in some ways so I’m looking forward to better days although like your broken pieces I still need to hold on to a bit of the old me too xxxx
Beth what a complete d**k! Have been thinking of you a lot today and glad your trip is done. It must have been a tough day.
Lesley it sounds like good and wise counsel to me. Like Clair, I shall focus on the garden and not the housework. A perfect day today and I am monitoring the fluffies’ magnolia closely for the first bloom. You are a bloomin lovely lot xxx
Ooh we are all online together! Good luck tomorrow Dizzy and Helena lovely thoughts about your mug. Xxx
Beth, I’m not surprised you’re sore, that’s a lot of driving, specially when you have à total *******in the car with you. I hope he’s beginning to get the message.
I’ve been meaning to ask you how your mum is, she was waiting to have her oesophagus stretched so she would find it easier to eat? I hope that went okay and has made a difference.
I did quite a bit of driving today to meet up with friends, it was quite a way but really worth it… And tomorrow is the oncology appointment and then a trip to IKEA in Southampton, I wonder which will be worse?
Good luck tomorrow Dizzy with both your ventures I’ll be thinking of you and holding your hand in the hospital bit xxx xxx
Hi Dizzy
thanks for asking after my mum. She has had the oesophagus stretched and that has helped her eat. She still can’t have solid food but they have found a company that will deliver frozen meals that are developed for her needs and she seems to be putting on weight which is good.
Her oncologist has said that she needs to go back on the CHOP chemo but is not prepared to do it just yet as he doesn’t believe she is well enough, nor poorly enough to start it again now. That chemo put her in ICU when she first had it so the 5 after that were different. Her scans this year show that that chemo has made no difference. It’s no worse, but no better either. She’s feeling rather low as she’s in limbo again while her chest either improves enough so she can stand the chemo without ending up back in ICU or the cancer worsens so she has to have the chemo regardless. What a position to be in.
Shes still got this thing about germs so we speak on the telephone but that’s it. Her oncologist says she must keep herself ‘safe from germs’ so she’s taking it literally.
And there was me hoping for a stress free and simple 2017!!! I don’t think that is going to happen on a number of fronts!!
Xxx