Progesterone, assorted other hormones and fluffy cake

Going through breast cancer treatment Hormone therapy
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Helena and Clair,

Lesley is right…unless you’ve ‘been there’ you just can’t get it. I too feel different, just changed in subtle and some quite obvious ways. The body has a small scar, the mind a much larger ome. MoSt people can’t imagine how it can affect you, and to be fair all of us are early in the healing process, you are both in even earlier stages. I too saw a counsellor like Janey , after surgery before and after rads. It was really really helpful, but it can also be quite upsetting and a bit traumatic. Mine was a cancer counsellor and excellent. Talking therapies will do you both so much good. No apology needed here, ever, for feeling down or emotional. X sorry not replied to all the other posts as on my phone and it’s a pain scrolling, reading and typing.

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You may find that the number of sessions can be extended. I had 7 given as the initial set, and then she said we had the option to add three more. She only said this aswe got near the end of the first set.I didn’t use them all in the end as it happens. I guess different health authorities might be different though.

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<3. Xx

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What chance have I got?  You lot are my counsellers!  Seriously though, if i had access to someone trained I would grab it.  Nothing like that has been offered to me.  The other day my sister said to me on the phone that someone had asked about me and she said “I told them you were fine, treatment all over and forgotten now”. I felt like screaming.  As you say, we suffer in silence except in here.

 

Im going to take myself off to bed now for a sweaty night (Not in a good way)  which reminds me, I have been looking for a low tog duvet for ages and mentioned it at my knitting group.  Got a call from one of the group this evening to say that her daughter who works in marketing for a bed manufacturer had managed to get hold of a 4.5 tog for me, brand new but had been used for photo shoot today and I can have it for the princely sum of £2, and she’s even bringing to my house tomorrow.  Only downside is, I’ll have to make sure the house is presentable.  Night all xx

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 I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow which is likely to be a tad difficult, trying not to stress over it. I don’t often wish other people would have this experience, but in his case I’m making an exception.

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It’s a bit of a long story…skip the next bit if you like, its just going to be a bit of a sticky meeting…

 

after I started taking Tamoxifen I had some vaginal bleeding, so I ended up having biopsies because I had polyps and an abnormal endometrial scan.The gyne consultant said it wasn’t a good idea for me  to have Tamoxifen because I was starting out with problems and the Tamoxifen would make it worse, it causes endometrial problems.  So I was waiting to find out the biopsy results to see if it was cancerous, and even if it wasn’t I was going to have to have a hysterectomy if was atypical hyperplasia.

 

So I saw the oncologist at a planned appointment to progress the radiology, and I told him what the gyne consultant had said. He bit my head off that my endometrial problems were nothing to do with him, but when I said I was waiting for the results, he looked on the system and  told me they were clear, so was I going to take the Tamoxifen or not? So I said I suppose I’ll carry on then.

 

And the next day I saw my GP  because by then I was just not coping with anything, and when we were discussing the Tamoxifen, he said, oh but you’re not taking it any more are you?

To cut this story short, it turned out that the MDT had had a meeting and decided to stop the Tamoxifen, and he was supposed to have discussed the issue with me, but he didn’t bother to read my notes. And later my BCN told me it was the other oncologist was at the MDT meeting and mine doesn’t agree with the decision.

Later the gyne consultant sent a letter saying he couldn’t advise me about the Tamoxifen but it would be sensible not to take it.(?)

 

And somewhere in the middle, I have to decide whether to take the damn drug while two consultants have both told me it’s nothing to do with them. And I realised I haven’t the foggiest idea how much benefit it is going to give nor why the oncologists don’t agree. Months ago the surgeon said, take this Tamoxifen, and I did.

 

So I have insisted on this meeting, my oncologist has reluctantly agreed to see me to discuss it because eventually I went to PALS and made a complaint, that if I hadn’t found out by accident from my GP, I would never have known about the MDT decision and if I hadn’t found out from the oncologist I would still have been waiting to find out whether I had a second cancer because the gyne department didn’t write to me till three weeks after they knew the biopsy results.

It just seemed like they all talked to each other, and no one ever bothered to talk to me, and they were all trying to wash their hands of it.

 

I spent two weeks thinking I had two cancers and another two weeks knowing I was so insignificant to them all that they couldn’t be bothered to tell me the results. They had the pathology report  three weeks before they told me the results. The gyne department didn’t know that I’d got the result via the oncologist.

 

Gosh I’m sorry that was a rant, I was in such a mess through most of this. Oh and no one would schedule the radiotherapy, I thought they’d forgotten that too. And then I got less tha n 24 hours notice of my planning appointment.

 

This has gone on so long, it is six months since my dodgy mammogram, some people have fitted chemo into that time…

 

Sorry ladies, forget all this.

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Flippin 'ECK Dizzy,

Why didn’t have you NOT had a rant to us, tell us all about this before now. You’ve kept all of your ffffflippin awful frustration and worries under wraps.

And Please do not EVER be so dismissive about it to us, EVER again. You wistening??? (that’s supposed to be a Chinese ticking off) Your sign off “sorry ladies, forget all this” - in itself speaks VOLUMES to us, DarlinDizzy, about how much you’ve quietly been going through, the sheer frustration and upset. And still has to be sorted.

God, cancer’s bad enough without what you have had to suffer - yes, you’ve massively SUFFERED. You sound at your wits end - at the absobloominlutely end of your tether with it. I know, I can safely speak for all of us on here, we are and feel frankly shocked, and upset for you. This message could/may probably have you in tears - if so, sob, and let it all out, or at least some of it flower. You sound as though you need to, and it doesn’t or won’t necessarily solve anything, but by god will it do you good. Preferably with a pair of strong, loving caring arms round you. Wish I could reach you, cos my hugs are very special. Reknowned to be lovingly long, close and tight. Oooo, got myself sobbing with you. 

I’ve just come on tonight, and I may not get past this - your post.

You’ve come on here,  for all this time, with your witty, giggly humerous posts, and all the time - this. Bonkers innit all this BC (stands for Bl**dy Cr*p disease btw - and yes igno Delly does at least know what btw means!). This must all be driving you mad. Sounds like it to me. You poor, poor woman.

I’m soooo glad that you got in touch with PAL. Someone has some explaining to do. Some more savvy people would be taking all this to task and court, because it’s caused a whole load of EXTRA mental hardship to you, an added extra UNECESSARY difficulty to you having to cope with an Fffffff - lippin awful disease, surgery, treatments.

I’m really, really upset for you. Can’t believe it Dizzy - disgraceful. I pray like mad something can be done about it. And Yes, I would be taking myself off to a solicitor.

My hug for you is coming . . .  NOW.  Have you got it?? May send you a few more for good measure.

All these kisses are just for you too

Delly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  

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Oy you lot,

Am supposed to be getting my beauty sleep you know. Try and at least get rid of these dark circled, sunken eyes you all keep giving me with all this catching up. Well, I don’t wanna miss anything do I. 

It’s not private Charys, just that I happened to mention it in with my last pm to you, but I could have made you suffer. Och, can’t be bovved. Yes girlies, Delly has a date on Monday night, purposely chosen by me, as the restaurant tends to be a bit quieter. I’ve seriously tried to put her off by telling her something of what a mess I’m currently in, and that I think I’m going bonkers (Yeh, thanks, I know that you all know, but she didn’t, so felt it only fair she was warned. She’s not being swayed. Think my humour’s charmed her.  Sooooo, have at least got to try and make “some” effort to look/appear more presentable. And . . . she’s a bit of a Toy Girl, being 8, soon to be 9 yrs younger with my no. 58 coming up in Jan. But I’m looking decidedly tired and haggard, darl circles, not as the often being told 8 yrs younger than my age - more like 8 yrs older. I freely, openly told all you original members on here of my sexual orientation, if you remember. Told you early on, I’d basically been/felt shunned on the Lesbian/Bi threads for telling them they were being a bit sexist towards heterosexuals in some of their attitudes. (I’ve since had my posts removed, as no-one posted after that!! and didn’t want to put anyone off).

So no Charys, you’re not the least bit in trouble. It hadn’t told you in secrecy. Have my concerns about myself state wise ,not her. Just hope I feel better than I do at the mo’, gyppy tum and nada appetite. Need to get my tastebuds stimulated - may have to go back on the bacon butty a day for lunch diet. Seemed to do the trick last time. I bit the bullit and finally got myself down to joining one of the two famous dating sites back in August. Was just about to terminate my membership, 'cos just not feeling up to it all, but didn’t. And this lovely sounding woman popped up in my locale. We haven’t even seen each other, neither having put a photo on our profiles (I don’t even have one on anything digital). But we’re both femme, untattoed and un multiple pierced, so that’s at least something. Anyway,we’re still chatting by email on the site and Monday it is. Unless I’m not well enough.

 

Janey - parsnip and apple soup sounds yummyscummy, what a lovely and interesting combo of flavours. Have to try that one

Belle - I’m intrigued as to why or what’s made you think/feel we may have met?? What area are you? I’m Macclesfield, Cheshire. Thanks for the gen up on your recon. When’s all that hoovering up/lopping off scheduled then?? Sounds like you have a good surgeon. You happy with him and it so far? I was asking for recommends a while back, I’m part way through implant recon and now two and 1/2 overdue for the expanders to be replaced with the silicons, plus nipple recon. Need to get back onto that horse, but had probs, hence asking for recommended surgeons in my area.

Just breaking off before this post disappears x     

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OMG - Charys wasn’t joking about the snake as she’s just mentioned vivarian!! and she wouldn’t know that word if she didn’t have one !!

RaunchyRuby and CuteyClair - Thanks for the Date Well Wishes - enjoy your girlie do and fudge Saturday.Hope you get something to help Clair. If not, I’ll take you out on my next date - sort each others heads out - alcohol obligatory.

BralessCrispynipsBeth - Laughin and lovin the snake jumper suggestion. Good luck on Macc today. Did you see a counsellor privately or through the NHS?? And was it Talking Therapy or CBT. My experience of Nhs counselling wasn’t good. Didn’t even touch the surface after the limited 6 session quota and then just left to carry on struggling. But mine was also involving deep grief for Dad, Mum and bruvs suicide. 

DarlinDizzy - two GOOD friends are so much better than many not so good. And yes, doesn’t something like this sort the wheat from the chaff.Good luck with that appointment today. we’ll all be gunnig for you. Let us know how it goes, when you feel up to it.

Yes LusciousLesley - I shall only tell you my real name, if you tell us what your Mum used to call you as a baby/child. You’ve purposely avoided that one. Yey - on the cheapy,cheapy duvet. Fandabidozee.

So LustyLily - am sure I can find a far more interesting part for you than muttering in a corner. Your obviously a secret snake fancier as you’ve gone all agog with the snakey clothing and bits n pieces. I’ll have to give it some thought - leave it with me.

LadyHelenaBowler - you too ref counselling, hope it helps. I echo what Lesley, Beth say and Charys so eloquently puts about the scars. Need it or something myself. Let me know how you go on and what type of therapy they use. CBT or talking etc. would you please. Taa

 

Am not ignoring anyone else if I haven’t mentioned you in this marathon. Sorry I’ve taken up so much space.

Love yers

Delly zzzzz xxxxxx

 

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Oh Dizzybee. Delly as always has managed to absolutely capture the right response for all of us and I’m sending you a mahoosive hug from me. No apology ever for letting go here, it is absolutely what we are all here for.
Most importantly I’m so thrilled you have been given an all clear on the Endometrial, cancer but ffs your treatment has been appalling and absolutely you need to be going via PALS. I know you’ve been waiting on rads a while from the other threads but to have to go through such stress on top of the BC stress… Anyway I’m not going to witter on but if you need any support or advice with writing to PALS do do ask - I think they’ve sailed dangerously close to breaching your right to humane treatment. I’ve probably got my geography wrong, but I think you may be in Dorset? Do you have to stay in county? I know there were some people travelling to Exeter Oncology? Will be thinking of you and if you read this before you go, know that we are all in the room with you.
:heart:Xx

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I didn’t want to scoot past wishing MAC good luck for today. I’m worried about missing you all out. However, much as tomorrow is going to be about Lesley’s ballcock needing 2 men, next Monday will be about Delly date night! So pleased for you Delly - that sense of humour will get you very far. I hope she appreciates how fab you are.
On a serious note, I didn’t think CBT the right sort of therapy for managing impact of cancer, although I haven’t picked up offer of specialist cancer therapy here, as I already had a counsellor who gets me and my tendency to minimise. She practises compassionate therapy, which suits me as I’ve a bucket load of compassion for everyone apart from me! She’s good at pushing me to not be scared of my feelings.
Sue, your name will be always remembered, particularly for getting through the early days post diagnosis. Even if I wasn’t commenting on all threads, I was often to be found scrolling through threads and reading your wise words.
You will all be impressed that you shamed me into embracing Christmas spirit, so I’m off to post Christmas cards shortly.
Not sure if I’ve said this enough recently but you’re all bl**dy marvellous. Xx

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Hiyer, gosh I can’t keep up either ! I’ll have to come back later when I have more time. Hope all goes well for MAC today. I agree Janey, CBT is not a therapy I would think of for a cancer diagnosis (who is having it then?)…more for life and thought process anxieties which are related to general life and not something like this. YES, I do have a pet snake, why wouldn’t I? Adorable little creature and the snake jumper would be easy to make, just a crochet tube and a great idea (certainly for a fantastic photo opportunity). Delly are you SURE its Monday, you told me it was Sunday?! Dizzybee, I recall reading your story on a tamoxifen thread and was astonished then. I think I replied saying feel free to contact me if you are having issues with the thought of having to give up tamoxifen, as I have too. Hard to believe that a process that is meant to be ‘patient centred’ can be so off track that its just damn insulting. 

 

Lady Helena, my counsellor said to me ‘counselling comes with a health warning, it can be hard and testing for you’. I guess the point is that you have to work through the pain to come out the other side. Our new normal doesn’t have to be a lesser version of ourselves, it can be a stronger improved version, just different to the one we knew a few months ago.

 

Back later, just wanted to touch base with the wonderful ladies on here x

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Good point Charys, Delly you did say Sunday when you originally snuck date into a post, hoping we wouldn’t spot! Really don’t want you to be Delly delay!
I think someone somewhere has mentioned CBT on thread, but I’m now addled. On a very lighthearted note, will we have a virtual prize for person who puts on the thousandth post?! What did you start Charys?! Xx

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CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy…

 

And as you guys started this and in honour of National Christmas Tree Day - 

 

                                              Xmas tree 16.jpg

 

Soooo many balls… :smileywink:

Hugs

Sue x

 

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Here’s a different type of tree, made it from an old wooden pallet last year, just under 5 ft. A bit plain but I like it and my snake is going to look really good hanging from it :smileywink: LOVING ! the Chrissy trees on here, Sue’s being the last one posted, really nice and festive and happy.

 

  wooden tree.jpg.

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Nearly 1000 posts !! My word, thats incredible…its a race…lol

 

Lily, hows your migraine? Feeling better but a bit dodgy today? Horrible things, I used to have them, but only have optical migraines that go no further, but my daughter does have them.

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Soooo good Morning to you all.

Yes - I AM STILL UP, as in still haven’t gone to bed from the night shift!! S’all your faults, I’m now having to night AND morning shifts to cope with all your fast furious postings. Can’t you at least pace youselves better.

Crikey, I’ve been all moist eyed reading this mornings posts. So much love for each other. Stop it, you’re setting me off again, and I can’t see see the letters on the keys for the moisture, which will slow up my typing - and then I’ll get timed out. And you won’t like me next time - I already now start turning green and popping all the buttons on my blouse. What d’ya mean you don’t believe me - Okay, I’ll be truthful - the green’s actually mold from not having washed or showered from weeks on end and the popping buttons is from my boob expanders, well Expanding basically. I just pump them up with a bike pump.

 

Yes - DarlinDizzy. Told you how upset we’d all feel for you, and I glad you allowed us “in” to share your mental crash. Please let us know how you’ve gone on today if you feel up to it, aren’t too upset or worn out and have time. Poor Dizzy!!  We’ll go sort 'em out for you, won’t we girls. String 'em up by the “you know what’s” until they give you what you need. I put myself in your pocket this morning, but got stuck to an old toffee that must have been there years, so had to give up. Bit dark as well, but nice and cosily warm though.

Yes Janey - You are all bleepty marvellous. Been an absolute life line to me at times, literally. It was me Charys, who mentioned CBT, as when I researched into all the different ones available,a couple of years back, I’d basically done all the talking I could or wanted to do, with and about all my combined issues, and it wasn’t helping any more. CBT, from my understanding of it, is all about providing you with “tools” and teaching you how to use them in or with other coping techniques. I don’t really think it matters what the problem source is, as surely it’s generally the same for dealing with anything that you may be struggling with, but maybe Im wrong there. Some of it is also about turning your -ve thoughts around into +ve ones. All of that was what I felt ‘I’ really needed and still do. But I was having to turn to private therapies, as I’d had the NHS quota, dropped and left to get on with it, so the expense and lack of it being available locally were offputting. But maybe I should look into it again. The NHS can’t provide enough mental health services, due to costs plus the fact that so many more people need it these days, massive increases in people suffering with depression. I missed a much needed vocation there. I still think the idea of everybody who’s working, paying just a couple of pounds a week into the NHS fund would help alleviate lacking funds and service improvement. £5-8 a month is managable for the majority of working people. It could be tiered to earnings. Otherwise, we’re going to have to pay for medical care as they do in America and many other countries. Oooo-errr - Vote for Delly!!  I’ll be round canvassing next week ok.  

 

Sue - have just pm’d you. And I repeat some of what I said in that message on here bud. It’s good to see you letting your hair down (or grow or Patsies even!!) on here, enjoying the gigles and giving out some of your own wicked humour and fun.  Btw, I’ve told ‘em all I’ve repeatedly kept proposing due to our Scorpio/Cappy compatabilty status being so high, but that I just can’t sway or get you to swing over onto my side of the fence. So I’ve therefore had to take my charming self to try elsewhere. It’s ok, Sue’s used to me playfully teasing her about it. Supposed to be true on the sign compatabilty tho’. And sturdier, firm footed women have be known to turn.

Think I’m gonna end up falling asleep in my pasta, or chicken Milanese dinner at this rate.

Sending this off now before the dreaded timer and catch up yet AGAIN. xx       

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Well, that’s just taken two cups of tea to get through all the posts!  Too many to comment on them all, but must  say Dizzy, you poor thing, you have been suffering in silence and that’s  not allowed on here.  You must share with us so we can send positive vibes and love through the ether to you xx

 

Charys, you really are arty crafty.  Need to set up in business, I’d buy your stuff, though not jumpers for snakes, Not that I have anything against them but prefer dogs.  Talking of which, keeping everything crossed for Mac today.

 

Should we all plan Dellys outfit for her date? (that’s if she can remember what day it is)  Really hope it goes well and she is as nice as she sounds.  She can’t but help falling in love with you.

 

Going to have a third cuppa and whizz round with the dyson (cordless, going up in the world I am) as bits of Christmas glittery things on floor, dust and plump up cushions in case duvet delivery lady comes in.  Then it will be time to get ready for night out with ex colleagues xx

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WHAT DELLY !!! haven’t you turned into a sizzling mass of foaming smoking lava type stuff, with the natural daylight touching your body? Have your expanders got a pressure sticker on them, like you get for car tyres, so you can’t over pump them with your bike pump? Ha ha, it’d be so funny if you were out somewhere and they exploded. Well, it wouldn’t be funny, well actually it would…sorry, but it really WOULD…lolol I do hope your being around at this time signifies an effort to get back into a normal sleep/wake pattern? Hey, yeah, CBT, great stuff for the type of stuff you are referring to - but no good to my mind for immediate problems in the middle of cancer diagnosis and treatment. Infact I mentioned it only yesterday to another person on this forum, who has anxiety/depression issues in general which have been around for years.

 

Now ladies, be warned, she’s not done it yet…but it’s a matter of time before people start getting proposed to…take heed…

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Lily, a special good morning to you.  Another headache and migraine sufferer.  I’m on a migraine preventative medication, stil get one every two weeks or so but they only last a day.  If I don’t take the meds I get one every 8 days and they last 3 days.  I get a daily headache and have done for 20 odd years, sometimes it’s mild and goes quickly, sometimes it’s chronic and lasts all day.  Right enough about all that.  I’ve decided today is going to be a good day xx