I’m so sorry you’re feeling rather fed up today. I know that feeling well from when I had rads. That lack of control over everything really didn’t sit well with me either so I feel your pain. I kept reminding myself of the benefit to me health wise in the long term, which wasn’t easy as the days went on and it got more painful. The emotional affect is never mentioned really and to some extent is harder to deal with than some of the other cr*p we have to go through. I really believe once you hit half way you’ll begin to feel differently and you’ll start to see the light at the end of all of this.
Stick at it you amazing woman. You’re almost there now.
Oh poor Helena, that is terrible! No wonder you’re fed up, you’re straight back again tomorrow morning.
On the good side, hopefully they will be reasonably on time early in the morning.
I was very lucky, there was only once that I had any delay, and that was only an hour. Mostly I used to arrive about 20 minutes before my appointment time and got called straight away.
Clair, so glad you enjoyed your morning, and it’ll be so much easier to go back on Friday now youve broken your duck!
Rubycat, we missed you, I think we need to up the lines for people who go absent without leave. Though maybe you did explain about the computer so perhaps we’ll let you off.
Sue, your London trip sounds exciting, I hope we get to see the pictures?
Lesley, I’m sending you a hug, because it’s such a shame that two and a half days without painkillers is a real milestone, I just hope it continues.
Ruby what we all need are some of your delicious virtual and, therefore January friendly, chocolates.
Helena you can have a huge hug from me too. Rads really was the point I felt I lost control of my days, as Beth and Sue have said. It does seem a blur now thankfully. Clair I hope you rested today. I’m off to my first gym session tomorrow as part of the fatigue programme. Worried they may send me home again though as fighting a losing battle with another bug.
Adele and Sue is Sussex ready for your shenanigans? Should I be telling Mum to keep her windows shut against any raucous noise?!
Lesley, I’m glad you have had a couple of clear days but Dizzy is right it’s such a short gap.
Love and hugs to all xx
helena - sorry you’re having a down day, I remember it coming on me for no apparent reason at that stage, often for no apparent reason & are you working through as well?- kudos if you are, I was lucky in being able to take sick leave.
Sue - lovely cake! & love your post & pix on the ‘newly diagnosed’ thread.
hugs to all
ann xxx
Rubycat, no cake for me tonight, back on the painkillers, serve me right for boasting I’d been headache free since New Year’s Eve. Anyway, thought we were supposed to Going all healthy for the new year, so instead of having a choc bar starting with the letter of the day maybe we should have a fruit or veg, tomorrow for instance you could have a turnip instead of a Toblerone, yummy, NOT! Xx
Flip, just lost long message just before posting, so not going to repeat.
Was just finishing up with
Helena - hope you’ve had a good sleep and rest in preparation for another “Zapping” today. I take my hats off to all you ladies who have to go through such a long, tough slog of rads and chemo. And Ann-m said it with the word Kudos - amazing your still working as well whilst through your rads. Must be terribly frutsrating having to wait so long when you just want to go in, have it done and get out. It’s good for you to sob or rant and vent your frustrations. We can all take it on here, can’t we girls? Because we Oh so care about and for you, don’t we girls? Please grit your teeth and kick this ba**rd disease where it most hurts - you know where flower - you like to roll them on that grassy green?!! Ha ha. Biggest, massivest, longest, tightest Delly (((Hug))) :heart:
Janey - another bug. You aren’t just playing to my sympathies are you? You know what a big softie I am. Please get better soon and sending another warm, gentle hug.
Ruby - corrr “two” hugs - Oooooo, how lovely is that. Taa lovey.
Sue - got you on the train Dear. Haven’t watched/listened to news in months so no idea of strikes. May now have a passenger travelling down and back with me. Went to see a friend today I haven’t seen for a while, me having been in a prolonged uncommunicative state, she has a brother in Brighton and is trying to sort if it’s okay to visit him. I’m more than happy to have the company on a long journey, so I’m hoping it comes off.
Afraid I’m signing off now, frustrated at waste of a couple of hours of another lost post.
Making this public on here so I have you all as heavy back up. Will you all tell SweetSue to allow someone to do some looking after her and for to relax and put her feet. Don’t mind doing any amount of shopping and cooking. Just don’t ask me to do any ironing. Loathe it.
Morning my lovelies.
Helena I really hope you get a quickie one this morning, your totally amazing working as well as having treatment I really don’t know how you do it. Xxxxxxxx
Janey just take it easy my lovely or your pick up everything going. I’m planning on doing a keep fit programme I’ve got a wii fit I just need to.get it out and get motivated! xxxxx
Rubycat I love my little muppet he makes me smile too and people used to say I was a bit wild like him at times I look forward to getting that bit of me back. Xxx
I think the trouble with all this whole horrid experience is waiting… we wait for appointments, tests, results, operations etc for me I just all became to much as I knew it was nearing the end and I’d had enough!
Yesterday really took it out of me I fell asleep really early and didn’t wake until this morning I’m sure I’ll be fine when I get back into a routine and I did worry about it all before hand that can’t of helped but it is a great step forward.
I’ve got to make a phone appointment with the counsellor today so life is hopefully going the right way.
Sue your London trip sounds fun. Xx
Yummy cake I really shouldn’t but thank you xxx
Right I’d better get up and start planning my fitness, after a coffee of course.
Have a fab day and I’ll catch u later
Tons of hugs and love Clair xxxxx
Janey, hope you’re feeling better. Clair, glad you had a good nights sleep. Helena, by now, assuming you got seen on time you Should have tossed the halfway zap off the list, yay.
Should we be worried that Delicious is writing a book? Will we be reading about ourselves under changed names I wonder?
Off out in the freezing sunshine now to get nails done (my normality) coffee and bit of shopping.
Oh Helena I shouldn’t smile but did about your husband saying “for your own good”. My poor OH said something similar to me and my melt down went into overdrive!
Thank you for lovely support as always. Feeling very sorry for myself and turning into a moaning minny, which isn’t me at all honest! Today I think the throat has finally shifted and just left with glue ear! On a positive note I had my first fatigue gym session - it was verrrrry slooooooow but apparently I should keep being sloooow to make sure I beat fatigue! Charys I think a Fitbit would fade with boredom if I’d had one on today! Ruby your cartoon made I laugh and Sue yours made I hungry! Delly can we have a sneak at the first chapter?! Xx
Helena, I’m thinking your inconsolable patch yesterday sounds very like mine, which I think is the Tamoxifen. I don’t usually go into total meltdown, but at the moment when something upsets me, I don’t have any sort of balance, I’ve sort of lost the ability to keep things in proportion, so I hit rock bottom really easily.
Have you thought about whether this is a hormone driven problem? I know it’s hard to tell, because you’re in the middle of something really stressful, but if you weren’t like this at other difficult times, it could be the Tamoxifen messing with your emotions.
Whatever it is, sending you a hug, I’m glad you had a better day, and tomorrow you’ll be more than half way through.
Helena in so glad your feeling more up today don’t over think my lovely sadly I think it’s just part of the course and It happened to me during and after rads. We’re to hard on ourselves sometimes It good to let it out they say.
I think your right too Dizzy with the tablets. I cry at the drop of a hat and at the silliest things. xxx xxx
Yep, more than likely indeed the tablets…as they say…any menopause symptom can also happen with Tamoxifen. Low mood and very emotional responses are a common menopause symptom. :catsad:
Nails done, few groceries bought and home in the warm and catching up on all your posts.
Charys, go to Fitbit.com and look all at all the different trackers. It tells you what they all do. I have the cheapest £80, Flex, it’s enough for me, doesent monitor heart rate but I don’t want to know, would send it up even higher if I knew what it was. I also prefer it as it’s smaller/narrower, it doesent have a watch, I like to wear my own watch, or it also works it you put it in your pocket while walking.
Headache free so far today. Took painkillers last night before bed and star gazed and they kicked in, fell asleep until the dreadful flushes started. I am loving my night sky.
Helena, one of the nurses at the hospital where I had my rads said that they can affect your mood, bring you down, make you emotional, during and for a few weeks after, she warned the girl I travelled with for rads about that. I saw a different nurse who was, I’ll be polite and say, not very helpful!
So, Dellys book, I reckon it will be a hybrid of a Jilly Cooper type crossed with Harry Potter, and maybe a bit of Agatha Christie thrown in, possibly a soupçon of Stephen King xx
Moijan, Fitbits main use is to track to amount of steps/miles you walk a day, it also tells you how many calories you’ve burnt, if you wear it yo bed it monitors your sleep, tells you how many times you were restless, woke up etc. Some versions show your heart rate. It keeps tally of steps/miles walked and you start earning badges, for example, after you’ve walked your first 25miles you get The London Marathon one, it continues, and encourages you to keep going. You have have “buddies” so you see how many steps they are doing, what badges they’ve got. I enjoy walking anyway and this makes it more interesting, though some buddies do Get competitive lol xx
Charys, back to the Tamoxifen… I don’t think it does reduce the amount of oestrogen, that’s AIs like Anastrazole. Tamoxifen blocks the oestrogen receptors on cancer cells so they don’t receive it. It’s a SERM, a selective oestrogen receptor modulator. The reason that Tamoxifen raises your endometrial cancer risk is because it increases the oestrogen going to the womb, and if you’re post menopausal it just keeps on building up the lining and it’s never shed.
Maybe if anything Tamoxifen is causing more oestrogen rather than less.
I don’t understand any more than that, but that’s why there was all that hoo-ha over whether I should still take it when I already had an abnormal endometrial thickness.
So maybe the mood swings are down to too many hormones all going haywire at the same time.
Back again after a much needed haircut and pamper at the hairdressers.
Oh you girls make me laugh so much naked driving in sub Zero temperatures oh my word!!!
I’d also rather not know my heart rate and I’d probably lose it as well. The fit bit that is.
Xx
our varied hormone therapies and what they do and how they work, lol…
Some of us are on Tamoxifen, which is an “anti-estrogen” and works by competing with estrogen to bind to estrogen receptors in breast cancer cells. Others of us are on aromatase inhibitors (anastrozole, exemestane and letrozole) - with me letrozol, which work a little different, i.e. they block the enzyme aromatase, which turns the hormone androgen into small amounts of estrogen in the body. This means that less estrogen is available to stimulate the growth of hormone-receptor-positive breast cancer cells. Hence the latter is usually for those of us,who are ‘done and dusted’ with the menopause.
Ok, ok - too much information, lol.
Not a bad day today totally amazed at the helpfulness of my Breast Care Nurse, who is still there for me, despite having completed my active treatment.
I called her, as I had some concerns and was hoping she would also sort an ultrasound for me on my mammogram appointment. And…
When I, accompanied by Delly, go for my mammogram on the 13th they will do an ultrasound, too - should there be anything questionable at all. They will also give me the provisional result on the day, so I do not have to fret until the official one arrives. You see - I have had some tenderness and soreness in the other breast, so a bit concerned, as you may imagine.
At the same time she has booked me onto the February Moving Forward course down here in Brighton and is scheduling an appointment with my oncoplasti surgeon to assess the damage to my implant, due to chemo and rads - to discuss ad schedule replacement of it…WOW - I wish I could give her a medal.
Can’t join you on eulogising about Sue’s beautiful cake photo - not having much of a sweet tooth for cakey things, I was more interested in the beautiful Peony on it - one of my favourite flowers, so spectacular. Along with white Lily’s (yes “our” lovely LustyLily deffo included, even though she’s more pink.). The rest of my favourite flowers are all on here !! - Awwwww, I know, see how “loved up” I get about you all. Plenty of room for more too.
Janey - you poor thing. Bit of a contradiction - “fatigue gym”. Another even warmer and not so gentle ((hug)) winging to you. Think my previous ones were too gentle, so haven’t been working properly. Give me some feedback whether todays is the right strength. Pleeease ge better soon.
DarlinDizzy - Ooooo, sorry you’re also feeling a bit low. You still on your antidepressants? to counteract the Tamox? Sending you a spesh ((hug)) too flower. Think my depression probs kicked in at menopause 8 yrs ago, made it less easy to cope with what followed. Plus I’d always suffered badly with PMT. Needed locking up for a week every month, was like being Schizophrenic. Think the PMT was caused by higher Oestrogen levels than is normal. So it figured that once the menopause kicked in and the then massive lowering of oestrogen levels, apart from the tiny bit still produced by the ovaries,would produce a similar effect to PMT - Arrrrrgh, not permanently schizophrenia - quick someone reach me that bright blue straight jacket that fortunately arrived yesterday!! Phew, that’s better - Oh, and it does suit me, sooo much better than a white one. (hope nobodys taking offence at this, 'cos I’m really only taking the “P” out of MYself, not Mental health and sufferers!). It also explains why my cancer was so strongly Oestrogen +ve.
Sorry girls, am just posting before this get “swallowed” by the Post Eating Ether Monster. Grrrrrrrr - go away with you. xxx
naked driving in sub Zero temperatures oh my word!!!