Again went to bed in a good mood after all the chuckling. Last night managed three lots of two hours sleep, progress. Headache again this morning but not too bad yet so holding off on the painkillers for a while. Helena, fingers crossed zap appointment goes without any delays, full week for you this week but at the end of it you’ll be almost there, hang onto that thought.
Janey, hope fatigue gym helps, and send positive vibes to your friend. Missed you in last nights confessions, I just know yours will be good ones.
Clair, hope the bug thing didn’t develop and work is ok today.
The rest of you, enjoy your day. I’m on my third cuppa trying to work up the energy to do some housework, mind you, it’s difficult when shoulders are so stiff and painful, that’s my excuse anyway xx
Helena, just done the sums, for Petes sake, it’s only 7 years! I was getting all excited thinking you you really did have a toyboy. Himself is 8.5 years older than me. We met when I was 30. I was not that long out of a very long abusive relationship, mental not physical (My first proper boyfriend) and was a timid, frightened nervous wreck (except at work, with friends and family). He had the patience of Job bless him, and the result is lairy moi. The only thing he never got me over was my fear of driving which “the evil one” deliberately instilled in me after I passed my driving test after taking lessons and passing my test in secret because he forbade me to. Oh dear, this is a bit deep for this time of the day, didn’t mean to spill all it out.
It’s funny how thinking about the past brings all those feelings back. I was an outcast at school (I was English, going to school in a Welsh pit valley through the miners strikes, not an experience I would wish on anybody) and I still assume no one will like me, after all these years. And yes, first real boyfriend was a complete sh*t who I allowed to be mentally abusive for a year because I was besotted. And after him, I decided I was never going to rely on any man again, which is why I bought a little terraced house, which I loved, it was my refuge and hidey hole. I still dream about it.
But having decided I was going to be single forever, I met someone wonderful at 23, and still think he’s the nicest person I’ve ever met, and definitely the only one who would have put up with me all these years.
Oh Dizzy, that must have been tough, and such an achievement buying your house on your own at that age. Still, you know that old saying, what doesent kill you makes you stronger. True, but you do get weary, I often think, give me a break for crying out loud! But guess everyone feels the same, and you don’t know what someone is going through in private even if on the outside it looks like they’ve had an easy life. The one thing I do know though is that I’ve all my life from infant school, Big school, every job I’ve, even the rotten ones I’ve always made good friends which I’ve kept. Even since stopping work just over 18 months ago I joined a knit and natter group and have met some amazing women there, four of which are now close friends, so I guess the good friend fairy visited my Christening party, and now you lot xx
we’re both in a reflective mood here this morning. It one year ago today that my hubby’s wondeful father passed away. He went from a healthy man of 79, still walking miles each week with his rambling group, very active in their church and keeping an eye on those not so fortunate as himself to passing away from a very aggressive brain tumour in just six weeks. It was so fast and a very horrible thing to watch him deteriorate that quickly. Thank god for Marie Curie.
Im starting to wonder when I had time to work? Our house is taking shape again and we look a little less like we’ve been burgled, seeing my counsellor tomorrow, dad calling round on Wednesday, docs Thursday and a funeral on Friday. And then that’s another week over. I think I need to start getting back to routine again and perhaps mentally I’m gettIng ready to go back to work on the 23rd.
Hope rads is on time for you today Helena. Another one tossed off!!!
theres been so much happening here to catch up on!! Knickers, age gaps, books etc and it certainly cheers me up no end!!
Lesley, times were very different when I bought my house, I didn’t even earn a lot, but prices were so much cheaper, I was sharing a rented house with friends, and when I bought mine we all moved in together and they paid me rent. I look back now and think how easy it was, and feel so sorry for this generation with ridiculous house prices and no decent pensions, huge student loans…It is hard to see how they will manage.
Beth, anniversaries do make you relive the experience all over again, hugs for you and your hubby. A year isn’t long.
Thinking about going back to work must be a bit scary, but it’s also a sort of goal for moving on. And you have another two weeks to rest and get ready.
I feel a bit of a fraud because I have a cleaner now, so the nasty bits of housework all get done for me. When they told me to expect to sit in a chair and do nothing for six weeks after the first operation, we decided we’d use the cash from the health insurance payout to pay for a cleaner. I knew I’d be having two and possibly three operations and the radiotherapy in the space of nine months. But it’s such a godsend I think we’ll keep her on forever. For £17 a week, she washes all the tiled floors and moves out the furniture to hoover and cleans bathrooms, I love it. And there’s still plenty that needs doing, I do upstairs with our bedroom and bathroom because I like to keep that bit private, we have a chalet bungalow so all the other rooms are downstairs. But there’s still the garden, the dog and the allotment as well.
Well the rain is lashing down here, my poor dog is looking very reproachful but I don’t see much walking happening this afternoon. Were you stiff after your long walk Lesley, it was quite a distance if you’re out of practice?
Afternoon lovelies,
I had a terrible night last night and only had about an hours sleep serves me right for having a sleepy afternoon!
Work was fine I’m getting my enthusiasm back a bit and I’m pacing myself. My kids have helped a bit more around the house which helps.
I don’t take any notice of age gaps my eldest son is 28 & his girlfriend is 38 they’re expecting their first baby soon the match each other perfectly she’s a bit immature and he’s a bit older in his ways and my youngest son is 5 years older than his girlfriend, he’s as silly as she is.
As long as they’re happy I don’t care.
Time to catch up with endeavour as I forget they clashed!!
Sherlock was fantastic though
Hope everyone is having a good pain free day lots of love Clair xxx
Glad work went ok Clair, now put your feet up and rest, remember you’ve got school again tomorrow. Dizzy, if I could get someone to do my cleaning for £17 I’d jump st it. Last summer we started paying someone to cut the grass as it does himselfs back in and he don’t let me dit it. It takes her about 35 minutes to do and she charges £15, cleaners round here start at about £12.50 an hour and thsts if you can find one.
No, don’t ache after walking, that’s one thing I can do is walk. I’m fine from the waist down (so far, touch wood) it’s from the waist up everything hurts, shoulders, arms, armpit, boob, though not as much now, and head. Think I need to speak to a BCN about armpit, it feels like the skin is too tight, and pulling is the only way I can describe it.
Well Helena, unless they’ve kept you waiting again, thats another tossed off xx
Helena, I had a list of dates on the whiteboard in the kitchen, and crossed each one off when we got back. But it sounds like you need a basket with the dates written on bits of paper so you can throw them overboard as you get through them.
Thank you. Hopefully some answers soon. It wasn’t me with cording, but I was going to suggest it may be? I had my second gym fatigue session and next session will start work on improving my arm movements. I hope.
We have some commonalities here beyond BC and with rotten ex partners. I’m fiercely independent and it was a long time after my first marriage that I learned to trust again. Very happy now - with the exception of stepwitch issues every so often! He must wonder what he landed himself with at times, as in the six years we’ve been together (known each other 17 I think) he’s seen me through a lot of ups and downs. Pity you’re not closer Lesley he’s a driving instructor and often does confidence courses! A better day for me today, as my daughter and her boyfriend are visiting and making me cups of tea - refreshing in more ways than one!
Beth thinking of you especially today. Delly Adele hope you’re ok about Weds (hope I have day right). PM if you have any questions. Xx
Janey, thinking of your friend, it’s a bit sobering to think about. Is she having full clearance now, that sounds particularly unpleasant, I hope she heals well.
When I went for my rads planning they gave me the dates and times of all my rads sessions. On the day of my first session they gave me a revised list, only two of the times were changed and only by 15 minutes. I attached the first list to the fridge with a magnet (a very rude one) and every day day got back I drew a line threw that days one. It great watching the “to go” list getting shorter than the done ones.
Janey, when I first got with Himself he bought me a little runaround and took me out. He was so patient but it upset him to see me so wretched. He booked me a course of refresher lessons. The instructor said I was fine, I could drive just needed confidence. I just reverted to the old me behind the wheel. Every time I knew I was going to drive, the night before I’d have nightmares about “the evil one” used to throw up, couldn’t eat and slowly started to lose confidence in everything, Not just driving so I gave up and returned to being me. Never been a problem until recently when he had to give up driving because of a medical problem, now it’s really restricted our lives, very inconvenient at times. Thank goodness for online shopping I say, and all my friends drive. The plus is, Im never the designated driver so I get to drink every time, see, Im smart ha xx
Janey I’m sending love and positive thoughts to your friend xxx
Helena, Yeay another one done and dusted. Beth thinking of you and your family today xxxx
Lesley I did it again and fell asleep! I also started to lose my voice a bit earlier I’m hoping it’s just my body getting used to the work environment / bugs again. I’ll have to resort to the sleeping pills tonight.
Hello Adele hope your ok and sending you a huge hug hope you.get it xxx
My nan used to have a cleaner but she would clean up before she came!
I’m off for a quick bath as it’s such a yucky day then I can settle down in my pj’s
Catch u later lots of love and hugs for everyone Clair xxx
Himself has just come in, he has play days Mondays and Thursday, couple of pints and game of dominoes. An old friend of about 40 years has just told him his wife has just been diagnosed with BC. Himself said he was quite Blaise about it, said she’ll be off for for a few weeks!!! I’m going to email her now and offer support if she wants it, I know how much I needed it xx
Ooh I wish we were closer Lesley, could sort all the trauma driving stuff out! I had real problems working with a client once, never normally failing to build a working relationship, seeing the good etc … I had brilliant supervision and was asked “who is he?” On reflection I realised it was my ex husband any my response was to him not the client - we’d been divorced 4 years by then. It was almost visceral! Helena are you on boosters yet? I found the positioning tough for that one. Dizzy don’t feel a fraud. We have a cleaner too now. Every other week and a present from my dad and step mum, which they thought would be better than flowers! I am doing housework too but it’s been such a boon with up to 6 of us here at times and OH working 6 days to cover my loss of pay. Will be sad to stop her visits next month! Dizzy I’m starting to think we are in the same line of business?!
Clair PJs sound great. I’m still in gym kit - I barely broke a sweat or even a hot flush - it’s so gentle!
Thank you for friend thoughts. It’s been a sobering time. Hugs xxx
Janey, I’ve been in a few lines of business in my time, and now in none! I started out as a residential social worker, both children and old people. But that was never going to work with having children, so I became a civil servant, I was a vat inspector which was a horrendous fit for me, I hated it. So spent a few years at home with the children, working as a childminder as we were flat broke. Then I retrained and worked as a consumer law adviser at trading standards for ten years, till I had an anxiety/ depression breakdown and resigned.
I decided to go back to my social work background and did two years back at uni to qualify as a social worker, but realised I was going to have to work full time in child protection which I hated, and again the stress was getting to me, so I left.
So I finished off as a mental health support worker at a charity, in a support group mainly for older people with mental health problems. I loved that, it’s probably the job I would have paid them to do, but I had to leave it when we moved here to be nearer my mother in law, who had cancer.
I’m very lucky that I don’t need to work, but anyway after two or three years out of the workforce I didn’t find anything I wanted to do, my charity doesn’t operate in this area and my husband was looking at dropping down to three days a week so it seemed a good time to say I’m done with working, though I’m only 56 and not going to get a pension for a very long time yet.
My “career” has always taken a back seat to the children and childcare, so I don’t hàve any guilt about being a kept woman now, my husband has had a good career because he could go to London for the big promotion and work long hours while I held the fort at home. And when we met I was the one with the job, the house and the car, and he was a broke mature student. So I’ve done my share, all told.
Hi Mary,
yep we do the same job and I totally love it. I’ve worked in behaviour support for about 15 years and started doing some special needs inclusion a few years ago. Then I was lucky enough to get my job where I am now nearly 2 years ago. I work with children with profound special needs and disabilities and Its my heaven.
Like you my darling daughter is my baby even though she’s 20 she’s the youngest of 4 with 3 older brothers she’s quite a tough cookie but loves having her hair brushed and plaited.
I hope your mri went ok today
Love Clair xxx
Once a Social Worker … something must have rung a bell with how you write! I found Social Work 17 years ago and specialised in physical disability, older adults and mental health, but not child protection, although I was a teaching assistant before that for children with special educational needs - more commonalities!. A complete change having been an interpreter and then farmer and carer. However, my return to work anxiety is building. I’m sure it will be fine -
Helena my lumpectomy was top of my left boob. I didn’t have to do any special breathing thankfully. The boosters took a little longer each session - being very precisely targeted at the tumour bed, so positioning was different and took a little longer, with ex rays taken each day too. I did get very upset one day, as it proved very difficult to get it right and I was teary. Not telling you to worry you, but to be better prepared than I was, as I had no Idea it would be different. That said the staff were amazingly kind with me and it was just the one blippy day. It does all seem distant now thankfully. Xx
I had a lot of delays during the first 15 but none for boosters. It really was just the one day it got to me. It’s the same bed to lie on, same machines and same arm raises. The machine was closer and time taken to ensure it was all positioned properly. Xx