Ha Janey …I know no latin I only used Google translate. It says ‘squash your cake’. Lee, this is excellent you are perfectly placed to do the night shift on the thread ! Lol a ‘swoon’ ey, that sounds quite civilised and retro.
From now on you shall be known as ‘Mkk’ moijan. …Moijan knackered knees. I like the alliteration.
Crikey, cant keep up with you lot!
Moijan dancing, Janey’s cucumbers, Charys speaking latin…!
Cool grey day here, but will soon be joining Lee on the night shift - cant wait!
Have a great day everyone
love to all
ann xxx
I didn’t squash the cake!! But I’m not sure anyone had room after birthday supper yesterday! Ooh Ann I’m so jealous. Desperately want to get to Australia again to my sisters and explore beyond Sydney and Melbourne.
No work today thankfully, other than the fatigue gym and housework. Hope you are all having good days and Clair how are you doing? Dizzy hope you’re pacing yourself. I had my “I’ve done too much” bulb in your neck of the woods when I stupidly went on a route match along the coastal path at Eype. Better out than in as my Mum says, although I had another blub with my best friend today. Seems to have done the trick - but then she is a tonic! Xx
hi all
sorry been on today but I have not long come back from my brothers flat, I have been following him round with a black plastic bag picking up all the wallpaper that he has been stripping off the walls in his flat, got home and did some lunch for colin and I and am now watching bowls. I wonder with all this activity how long it will be before I am asleep 
Some great funny stuff on here today brightness on a very dull day here in Brummie land.
Helena xxx
Ooh Helena,
very valuable skill set there…could use a black bag holder to help me sort out my bomb site of a bedroom!
xxx
Hello dear friends,
OH NO!!! I woke up from my first night on meds, with massively intense feelings of SHAME and GUILT, and I have some “serious, major” APOLOGISING to IMMEDIATELY do today, and to do it before ALL else.
First things first was to contact moderators, Bonita and Lizzy, to ask to and have ALL my yesterdays - DISGRACEFUL and DAMAGING - posts to those two particular people, REMOVED from this yesterdays thread. This has already been done very swiftly - Phew, “Thank You so much Bonita, lovey”, for responding with some urgency and immediacy to my request and plea. You very astutely picked up from my message to you, how important it is for me to put things right with these two poor people, who were wrongfully “attacked” with some vegeance, and it being very UNlike my “usual and normal” gentle natured self, to behave in such a, frankly quite abhorrent way. Poor girls and nasty Delly.
UNFORTUNATELY, the DAMAGE has already been DONE. Doubt if either are prepared to forgive, and wouldn’t blame them either, So is my LOSS, and not the first time either, have upset others since I’ve been this way.
I cannot apologise enough to you both, feel genuinely Ashamed and Disgusted with myself. Am therefore making A VISIBLY and PUBLICLY "MASSIVE, HUMBLE and GENUINELY SINCERE, and HEARTFELT APOLGY to YOU BOTH. I am sooooo “VERY SORRY”. I cannot tell you enough, how bloomin awful and dreadful I feel about what I have done.
I’d only just had a conversation with the two of them, the same night of the morning, of my hyper-reactive postings on here, for them and ALL OTHER PEOPLE involved in my life, i.e. long term and short term friends etc., please to be more aware and wary as to how Bi-Polar can make a person behave “out of character” to their usual behaviour, and that it takes a huge amount of understanding from other people to “IT”. I asked others to just check out the “mind.org.uk” site, which very clearly and succintly explains all of my likely traits and behaviour. Anyone else who’s interested to understand more - go straight into the Bi-Polar under the A-Z list and then into the “signs and symptoms” of the manic “Ups” and the Depressive “Downs”. I could have written ALL of the listed symptoms myself, they’re all so accurate of ALL of those that I have for BOTH states. It’s no wonder I think I’m going “bonkers” sometimes, and why all of you and others also think I’m going “bonkers” too??!!
Directly with reference to my yesterdays episodes, and taken directly from the “Mind” info site, am not in any way wishing to make any excuses for myself, but in my defence, here are just a few relevant symptoms facts from the “Manic” or “Up” state :-
Irritable and agitated
Saying things that are INappropriate and out of character
Being Rude or Aggressive, and Vengeful!!
Feeling unhappy or ashamed about how you’ve behaved
Have only a few clear memories of what happened while you were “Manic”, or none at all
!!! Those are only SOME of the listed symptoms, but ones specific to my yesterdays “outburst”
I can only hope and wish that they can see it within themselves to “forgive me”, but I’d more than understand and would not be at all surprised if they never wished to speak to me again.
I took my first meds last night, I had it made it known to my “supporter” of my less favourable past experience of some of the simpler antidepressants, PLUS the fact being so slender with very little body fat, my physical constitution is that much more sensitive than a more “robust”, heavier bodied person, so feel my symptoms are that more likely to be "pronouced/exagerrated. Vacant headedness, strong supression of my appetite which already being slight framed and underweight cannot afford to have, blurry vision and shaky hands.
However, being pretty desperate to control these hyper/hypo symptoms and gain back at least “some” control of myself and my life, of course I’m prepared to give this different type of medication a go. I’ve been given Quetapine, which I shall due my due diligence in checking out facts for, in a phased dosage of 2 days x 100mg, 2 x 200mg then 7 x 300mg. To be taken at night, due to their effect of pronounced sleepiness.
Took it at around 11, whilst still up. First mistake - I need to take it when I’m actually “in bed”!! Because 1/2 hr later, I struggled to even get myself up off the sofa, let alone climb the stairs!! Once in my bedroom, it now being 12ish Midnight, was sooo dizzy I couldn’t stand to just undress myself, so instead of my usual neat folding or hanging of clothes, had to remain sat on the bed to undress and leave said clothes deposited on the floor instead!! What does it matter hey. Pulled the duvet over, woke at just after 10 a.m. - 12 solid hours!! Groggy or what. Has taken me my usual 3-4 mugs of tea AND. . TWO mugs of strong coffee to kick my brain into “thinking”, not clearly even then. It’s now 3.30 and I’m just feeling "awake"ish.
I’m to see a lovely mental health supporter, on Monday, in order to monitor how I’m doing on the tabs and chat about where I’m currently “up to or at” in my head. I’m going to have to call her tomorrow, as there’s no way if I’m this bad after 100mg, that I’m going to even try 200 or 300mg. I’ll cut the 2 x 200mg in half to carry me over to Mondays appointment.
That’s all I’m here for at the mo’ - “The Apology”, so shall catch up with you all another time. There’s actually a Bi-Polar support goup, here in Macc, that meets up once a month, and it’s tonight at 7.00. So, of course I keen to get myself to it - go meet some other “fellow sufferers”
Hope Everybody is well and “Fine and Dandy” today. If not, I hope you are soon.
Byeeeeee for now,
HumbleDownfacedDelly xxxxxxxxxxx
Delly, I am absolutely delighted to see you here ! I only came on to check if you’d been around. I’ve not even read all your post yet, as in your usual style it’s verrrryyyyy long lol I was hoping to catch you before you disappeared off again, and say great to have you back. :smileyvery-happy:
Afternoon all and Charys is spot on with her reply Delly. It’s a tough decision to seek help but you are so insightful and deserve to get the right care pathway. You should be able to contact someone on duty today to check out the dose for you and explain your response, although it may also be a reaction to how things have been for you the last few days. So it would be good to get advice. Good on you for the apologies but know you have our support xx
Okay I admit I am officially pooped this afternoon, I might just have done a litte too much today at my brothers, yes “naughty helena” what did we tell you, I hear you saying.
Well tomorrow I am going to do absolutely diddly. I was supposed to be with my counsellor in the morning and then out to dinner with my bestie, both have cancelled because of this cold bug, which to be honest is probably a good thing for me so I can just relax
I consider myself well and truely told off and can hear all the I told you so’s.
Helena xxx
Hi everyone.
Firstly - Delly love, I completely concur with what everyone has said already. Glad you’re back and don’t go away as it would leave such a big hole. We miss you!!
so today I have done a full day in work. It was ok and I managed without too may tantrums. I saw my first customers since September and It was lovely to get back to the part of my job I love the most. I have made no secret of my BC diagnosis and people are lovely asking after me all the time. People open up much more to me and it’s making for deeper working relationships. The awareness has to be a good thing.
I Wont deny I’m tired and I think I might be coming down with a cold but most of the staff are sniffling so I’m not surprised. I can’t wait for the weekend as I don’t intend to change out of my jammies on Saturday lol.
I have to to tell you about a conversation I overhead in the office yesterday. One of the girls is going for a smear test tomorrow and I could hear them talking that they were really glad that only female GP’s are allowed to do the tests??? I had to correct them, especially when another girl said that she’s only ever had one done and will never go again. We had a very gentle conversation about it but after everything I have been through - which they all know about - I was shocked that they were prepared to take the risk and not go. It’s up to them I guess but it’s still unbelievable.
Hope we everyone else is doing ok out there. Sending hugs to everyone
xxx
Hello lovelies on this freezing cold evening,
Ann and Charys your both absolutely right in what you’ve said and I totally agree. Delly you are a lovely lady and your on the right path it won’t always be easy but we’ll all be here for you sending you huge hugs and love xxxxxx
Helena and Beth the fatigue just creeps up on you one minute you think your ok then your floored. Beth get roaring it’ll help and I really hope it doesn’t develop into a cold xxx
Janey I’m totally flat out physically and mentally, the colds better though.
Today has been quite stressful as my lovely friend had a really bad turn at work, we had to get her an ambulance as we thought she was having a heart attack. It turns out that she had a severe reaction to some tablets she’s just been prescribed for back pain and it’s affected her heart. She ok and is resting but it was such a worry.
Hubby had a resting ecg yesterday and needs a 24 hr active one done on Monday. The Dr did say he thinks it’s all stress related but wants to get him checked out.
Never a dull moment.
I’m having an early night and luckily tomorrow is an inset day so just a bit of training then home.
Nigh night xxxxx
Pmsl Charys 
I’ve just added another wave xxx
Charys
All the ropes have been securely tied, well I hope so as I have never done rope knots before
Can I come to your tower Helena tomorrow? Don’t want to go to work, my work laptop is still the breezeblock rather than the new lightweight one I don’t have, or the dolly trolley, which should have been ready for my return. I now have to carry said block in to “dock” it tomorrow, rather than working at home as planned. Ooh me a grumpy old bag tonight bringing down the lighthearted tone of vomiting pumpkins ? moan moan moan …
Hi everyone, just popped in and caught up on all your posts. Special hug for Lily xx. We’ve both been suffering today with our heads then Lily. I’ve started early hours of this morning and I had lunch plan with an ex colleague who I don’t see very often or I would have cancelled. Doped up to the eyeballs (which didn’t help much) she picked me up at noon, but as she had a delivery due we went back to hers for lunch instead so I could lay back on her big squishy sofa. Had to take my migraine meds when I got in and retire to bed, thankfully pain is now lifting.
About six or sevens years ago I bought himself a lovely leather jacket, but as he’s lost a lot of weight he hardly ever wore it. Today he offered it to a friend who tried it on and it fitted perfectly. The friend put his hand in one of the pockets and pulled out, no, not a plum but my engagement ring which I’ve been searching for a few years. Never told Himself that I’d lost it as it was his grandmothers. I hardly ever wear it, and how it got into the jacket pocket is a mystery. If the jacket hadnt fitted his friend or the friend didn’t want it Himself was going to drop it off at the charity shop. Fate I suppose.
Anyway, eyes blurry from headache so going back to bed to lay in the dark so won’t mention you all by name, but you know who you are, sending love and hugs xx
Hugs and thanks flowers from your moany Janey xxx OH has given me a walnut whip to cheer me up, so between you I am counting my blessings. Hugs Lesley and Lily for those heads xx
Good morning gorgeous girls,
Happy to report my headache has gone back to hell where it belongs, just hope it stays there, hope your head is ok too Lily.
Out to lunch again today. Looked out of the window this morning to icicles hanging from next doors gutter, first time I’ve seen that this year brrrr. Wrap up well.
Wishing you all a lovely day, be it watching bowls, watching GoT DVDs, working, exploring Bath or whatever delights this Friday has in store for you. Catch up later xx
Well
I am now one week post rads finishing, everything seems to be ok, skin is looking a bit dark in some parts but it does not feel as if it is breaking down, but I am not sure how I will know, I am rather assuming it will be like when you get sunburnt!!
I am going back to work on the same basis as I have been on since November so I suppose it will tell when I get home each day if I am going to experience more fatigue but so far the last couple of days I have not felt bad at all and I have been quite a bit of stuff
Hope you are all having a good day, it is very cold here in Birmingham but the forcast is for it to warm up later with the consequential rain (boo hoo)
Helena xxx