Hello lovelies,
well today has been enlightening I ended up doing a full day as the teacher was off ill we work in a team of 5 and it seems that when teach is away only 3 including me are willing to do the work needed! I’m totally shattered now then I got home to find hubby has his heart monitor set up the Dr said they’re convinced its stress related which makes me feel great!!! Oh and he’s now got a hernia that’s gone through the wall of his stomach which needs sorting he’s having some toxicology tests done tomorrow.
I’ve had enough 
x
Hi all
not had a good couple of days. I think going back to work and coming down with a heavy head cold have taken their toll emotionally unfortunately. Had a horrible day yesterday where everything just felt too much and I wanted to retreat away somewhere. Plenty of tears all day. Today has been a bit better but did have a bit of a melt down with my counsellor this afternoon.
I feel better for it which is good. I’m not a crier normally and I think my ‘brave face’ just reached its limit. I felt so frustrated that people just didn’t get it, that things can never return to how they were, and that I am a little different now. I’m getting frustrated with the inane things people worry about that just aren’t important and now I’ve gone back to work I’ve discovered my patience isn’t what it used to be. I will get there but it’s going to take time.
So that’s me today. Physically getting there, but mentally, I still have some way to go!!
Ive had a look at whether there’s a Moving On course soon locally and there’s one in June but that feels like a lifetime away. Will have to give it some thought.
Hope all of you are ok.
xxx
Thank you Helena it means a lot xxx
Beth I’m so sorry your feeling down but know that we all know how you feel and are here to give you virtual hugs and love. Take care my lovely xxxx xxxxx
tomorrow is another day to try again x x
Sometimes it’s just all too much and I just want to go to bed and hide away from the world.
Helena & Clair
thank you so much for your support. It means so much. Xxx
Clair, you’ve had a horrible day too. Sending you a huge hug xxx
Sue
thank you my lovely xxx
Beth and Clair sending loads of love for better days tomorrow. I’ve hunkered down today in knots about tomorrow. Not sure if it’s the genetics appointment or manager meeting but I’m struggling with panic attacks for the first time in years. Have hauled out sickness policy. Apparently a 6 week phased return is ok in exceptional circumstances and I’m going to ask. Just tried explaining to OH I’ve become scared of my own job but he’s convinced I will be fine! Definitely not the same person I was. Passionate about my job normally.
Thank goodness for you lot!
Sue special thoughts for you tomorrow. Xx
Lily thank you. He doesn’t really get it but tries and then I get frustrated!! Poor man he must wonder where I’ve gone! Xx
Thank you <3. It means a lot to me that I can sound off to you all xxxx
I’m in bed listening to my ipod so I can hide away with my music for a while xxx
Oh Beth, Clair and Janey, big big hugs, feel for you. So much to deal with. We are all still going through stuff, but you are trying to deal with demanding jobs on top of everything, I take my hat off to you, I know I could not even contemplate working at the moment. We are all here for you to let it out xx
Lesley, Clair, Janey and Beth in fact any of you who really need one at the moment,
Sendng you a HUGE Helena huggle I am feeling for you all tonight and sending you all my love my very special friends
Helena xxxxx
Lesley that pic should be the avatar for this thread! X
Yes, Janey, I agree, it just sums us all up. So funny as none of us has actually met but feel so close. Keep your chin up, you’ve been through so much and it’s such a huge thing going back to work, both physically and mentally, and I know your job is so demanding. Be patient with OH, remember, he’s only a man lol xx
Helena, thank you.
Janey, I also just wanted to say that I completely understand you feeling afraid of a job you used to enjoy and be confident in, I’ve been through something similar, and also went through panic attacks and emotional meltdown. It is horrible, and it’s a result of stress overload. So thinking of you tomorrow.
Dizzybee those words mean a lot. Never feel guilty - we all do that far too much. I’m with Clair on the sounding off. Thank goodness for you lovely lot xx
Just lost a loong post so not stoppin long, cos it’s not the first tonight.
Want to say tho’, that I’m sorry some of yers aren’t so good and BethyBoo and the MIL situ has worsened. Sending long, warm, TIGHT Delly hugs to anyone needing.
Personally, ‘I’ consider it a “sensible” thing to belong to “Exit”- that’s bound to cause some amount of controversial argument, but it very much depends where personally you’re at or have been. I’ve had one of their books and have also been a subscriber to “The Peaceful Pill” the last 3 years.
I feel like I been trying to just “post” tonight for the last 3 years!! It’s been since around 10.00, given numerous computer freezes, repeated unplugs, reboots, retrieval of and then final loss of previous posts.
So this is the last time now.
Went to Mental Health Support worker appt this morn, 2nd one. Gave her detailed description of DIRE meds experience, told her (not her fault) I was NOT impressed with or confident in the Psych Doctor who prescribes a “standard” doasage of strong meds that has absolutely no bearing on a persons body size or weight. Hasn’t even seen me. Am now on a self prescribed dosage (how ridiculous is that, or how sensible is that!!!) of 100mg which I’m happy and willing to try. Am no way prepared to even try 200, certainly not 300 after my initial experiences.
Chatted about recent upsets and my reactions to. Fortunately not enough to knock me back down, but a loss of composure and focus. Plus, that am now having more major probs with hands and any gripping. All adds considerably to my mental state Am now having to have all taps changed to lever ones. Talk about kackhanded and clumsy. Takes me 3x as long to do anything, fingers just aren’t working well any more. Trying to seperate the leaves of a newspapers even difficult. Struggled like mad to pack a suitcase and .pick up things to load into the car to go down to Sue’s, got majorly delayed, partly cos I got so frustratedly upset with it all. Don’t know what I’m gonna do really - get quite despairing about at times.
I have a last hope that I can ask my Doc to be referred to a specialist Hand Unit at the hospital I attend for my boob recon (pretty insignificant in comparison!!). See if they can help at all. Sooo, afraid I’m adding to the other “DownerDillys” from the sounds of other posts.
It goes without saying, but I’m saying it anyway, that I hope your results are GOOD and favourable tomorrow. After having two bad ones myself, despite staying positive, I’m hoping like MAD it is NOT the same for you Lovey.
Despite our somewhat frustratingly stupid bloody upset, I still care very DEEPLY about you, want and need you to know that. Would really have liked to have been with you for it again. Also, that I miss you, even if you can be a . . . . . . . . . .!! Do please let us know as soon as you can/feel able to, what the outcome is, will yer.
On a lighter note - if I can still maintain a post. Not only do i get inundated with emails for postings on here, I get inundated with jobsearches AND from my dating site!! So somehow managed to be looking at the profile of an Italian lady. 60 but lookin 50/52, “down to earthly” attractive for an Italian, also loves cats!! Corr lummey!!
Naturally, I spent ages composing an cutely charming email, not a loooong one, i’ll have you know, BUT . . in Italian!! To this “multo bellissima segnora” with the aid of an on-line translator. l laid it on thick how passionately I love Italy blardiblardiblah - would move there TOMORROW!!! Devastated at the loss of my cat - more blardiblahs. All almost completed, bent down to pick up my pen from the floor, upset the laptop, which fell on the floor and . . . closed up like a CLAM, shutting down and losing ALL. Aaaaargh. Not just my email , but any previous “source” of HER. Gone. My hopes of a Ligurian contact, let alone anything else, flippin scuppered. Am even wundrin if it was a wishful, hopeful figment of my imagination??
Thank goodness I’ve finished. 3.05 from a quickie at 10. There’s dedication for you.
Love You ALL
DingerDelly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx’s and more xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx’s
Morning my lovelies, Janey and Sue I’ll be thinking if you today.
Love and hugs for everyone xxx
Morning everyone,
Shortly setting out for my pricks (penultimate of boosters) only one more to go, although they haven’t helped with flushes or headaches I have felt some benefit, i.e. More relaxed so very worthwhile. Just wanted to wish Sue all the luck in the world for appointment today before I head off. Also to send a virtual hug to the rest of you, seems like you all need one at the moment xx