Oh Helena I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time at home now on top of everything else. Some people really struggle in asking for or accepting help, even though deep down they know they should, or know they need it. There is so much help out there, and it could make things easier for you both. Pride has a lot to answer for.
I Suspect you have done this already, but have you tried discussing it with him so that he can see that you can’t do it all? It’s so difficult when you want to give someone everything you’ve got to help and look after them, but you must always remember that there are two people in this equation and you are both equally deserving of not having day to day life being made unnecessarily difficult.
My mum is very similar. I’ve lined up so many organisations to help her, found her a reliable cleaner, made arrangements with the Red Cross Home From Hospital service, and so much more to make life easier for her and she turned her nose up at it all. So frustrating especially when she complains how much there is to do in the house. All unnecessary.
Im sending you a huge cwtch too my lovely and I hope Colin can swallow his pride and accept outside help.
Xxx
Helena, that is a really difficult thing for you to deal with. It sounds like Colin needs some counselling, it must be so hard for him to come to terms with how his life has changed. And like most men, he just doesn’t want to admit it.
So my heart goes out to both of you, this is so much to deal with. Sending you love and hugs, and I wish there was more that I can do.
xxxx
Helena now I know why the pic made you smile on the other thread. Look after yourself - worky hat on here but a good OT or assistant should know to try and work with Colin, as I’m guessing there’s a lot of denial. You Mrs are entitled to a carer’s assessment and plan. Putting the hat away as it’s a bit tight but needless to say hugs to you.
As for the rest of you - more hugs - not as good as yours Dellywellydodahwhereareyou xxx
Declining politely, l like that. After 6 years as a trainee it is hard to get used to the fact that I am a professional Librarian now, I made it ? Xx
Good morning Willows,
Just caught up with lasts nights posts. Poor Helena, I do sympthamise, men, their male pride makes everything so much harder, Ive had similar problems with himself in the past. You really don’t need this right now with your own stuff, plus extending your hours at work. If he’s anything like my one, nagging, cajoling etc doesn’t work, all that happens is a bad atmosphere. Hopefully in time he’ll come round to the idea, but you need to stop doing things for him, maybe the penny will drop sooner and you won’t wear yourself out xx
Got a cold, can’t complain though as it’s the first once in about 10 months so I’ve done well. Well, I can and am complaining lol.
Rubycat, nice to hear from you. Glad all the arrangements are now in place. Hopefully you can take a step back and have a bit of a break from it all until the funeral.
Not sure how long Lily’s Italian jaunt is? Hopefully she’s having a lovely time. I think we’re going to have to send out a search party for Delly soon. I know she sometimes likes to retreat to her Delly cave for some quiet time but it’s been ages since she posted. Delly if you’re looking in, just let us know you’re ok xx
Lee, well done you, congratulations xx
Haha Janey I won’t be paddling for Australia anytime soon. Spent most of it on my bum! I just stubbornly refused to leave my beach camping trip until I’d had ago. Stuffed my shoulder but getting a massage Friday so that will help.
Major meltdown the Dr is getting me an emergency scan 
I’ve had swabs done as well xx
Clair, bless you, I hope everything is okay, that sounds very frightening. Love and hugs, thinking of you.
xxx
Massive hug Clair, or what Beth would call cwtch, such a wonderful word, a hug and a cuddle combined xx
Ladies
Oh how I adore you all, thank you for all your comments and I feel all the love and hugs coming at me which is a great support to me xxxx
Believe me he knows that I am NOT impressed with him at all. To be honest if I tried to get any assistance without him knowing that would not work and is not worth the hassle, I am just going to have to ride it out and see if he eventually comes to the same conclusion as the rest of us that he does need help. I know from experience with him that he has to sort it all out in his own head to make the decision. He has had recently to deal with the fact that he can not longer drive his beloved car so that has been SORN and also that he will never work again, so perhaps now they are sorted he can think about this.
Dizzy - I did suggest CBT to him but no joy.
Janey - the trouble is getting him to speak or even see an OT, the Doc was trying to get this in place yesterday but he kept on insisting he was managing ok as he was and did not want to see anyone. She just kept on saying there was so much that could be put in place to make like easier for him. Part of the paperwork form the community OT team was something for me to fill in, I did say this to him when he received it in December but it fell on deaf ears.
I live in hope of him coming to his senses before I lose it with him big style
Helena xxxx
Oh bless you Helena xx. A few years ago himself was laid up in bed for months, and for a while we werent sure if he would walk again. He was banished upstairs because of the bathroom/loo. I was getting up at 5.30 to walk the dog, get him a paper, make him breakfast and leave him a sandwich and drinks by the bed before setting off for work. Luckily the dog had a DOgflap…OT got involved and he was just as resistant as yours, eventually we got a grant towards an extension downstairs for a bedroom with shower room. As I was working I had to pay most but the bit they gave us towards it was a big help. Eventually he improved but that room has become so necesarry for him as he still finds stairs a challenge. The added bonus is I get my bedroom to myself, though I do have visitations rights to his, mind you, since the rads etc the old libido has put paid to that for the moment.
Poor throat is sore but I’ve just discovered sipping a pinot Grigio blush with lots of ice really soothes it, good excuse for pouring one at 4pm eh? Xx
Thank you for your lovely words xx
Helena your so lovely and always have wise words thank you <3. I’ve put my big girl pants on now. Xxx
This experience just keeps on giving and I’m sure it’ll be something and nothing but I agree Helena there just being cautious. Xxx
Clair and Helena - what they said … you lovely bunch of wise women. Clair I hope you can be reassured quickly and Helena save that garden energy for smelling some roses … xx
Clair my lovely
I’m sure the GP is being super cautious referring you for a scan. I bet they have a remit that any concerns are dealt with immediately, which with everything we have all been through, being able to avoid unnecessary delays must be a good thing. As the ladies here have said, big girl pants time (easier said than done I know), get your scan and see what happens. We all have a tendency to assume the worst now when something happens but the vast majority of things have a simple explanation - and not a horrible one.
HUGE cwtch being sent your way my lovely.
Xxx
Evening all
so our heating has decided to have a hissy fit tonight and we have no hot water. Not a drop. Nada.
We have heat for now so I’ve daren’t touch it in case that gives up too!!!
just once I would like something good happen!!! Perhaps I need to buy a lottery ticket this weekend lol
hey Ho!!
Hope everyone is ok this evening
xxx
Thought this might make you smile. Mac glued to Secret Life of Dogs. Whined at everything but weirdly growled at the wolf!!
Beth, no hot water! NO! How awful. At least as you say you’ve got heating. I remember as a kid, we lived in a big house, no running hot water and coal fires. My poor mum had to boil up the water in a big copper thingy and light fires every day. There were six of us, mum and dad and four kids, how she managed I’ll never know. She used to do all the washing by hand too. We had a proper bathroom with running hot water installed when I was 7 but didn’t get central heating put in until about 5 or 6 years later. They were much tougher in those days.
Sending you all hugs, huggles and cwtchs, I think you’re all in need of one tonight. I’m off to bed with a lemsip, early start again tomorrow, gp appointment 9am xx
Oh bless him, thank you Beth, that’s sending me off to bed happy xx