Ness I agree with Pam. Big hugs. I am day 5 post second Tax. Was feeling this one was less severe but am feeling ground down physically and mentally today. Willing the day away which is not what I’m like normally. Can’t concentrate and don’t know what to do with self. Just going to keep head down and get to Tuesday when I hope I’ll be coming through it. Love to PAULS let us know how you are xxxxxx
Hello lovelies,
Ditto all posts on get well soon to PaulS, hope it’s a very short sojourn in the hospital, hand respons superfast to IV, hope you can keep your spirits up and keep us posted.
Lou - my advice is to get a bit of counselling, to help you steer away from the dark side and keep grounded in the present. CBT is great for setting up mechanisms to stop patterns of behaviour eg. worrying/anxiety. For something deeper, I go to an amazing hypnotherapist who summons up the powerful mother/good friend within me and gets her to take over. So I sort of parent myself and keep telling myself that this chemo is precisely to prevent any further BC episodes and to stop the fecker ever coming back. Think of all the safety nets they have put in place - surgery, chemo, radio, and Herceptin and/or endocrine for some of us. Best to absolutely take each day at a time, and if the “what ifs” keep creeping in then do the breathing and ground yourself. Stick to the positive script that all will be well, the other one really isn’t helpful, it’s just there to torment us, and we don’t need that … we are all here for you, and I’m sure we’re all familiar with your fears.
Pam - good luck with poorly bottom, hope all systems go next week - and to any others I’ve missed who are lined up to get the good stuff next week.
Sam - glad hubby made it, and that fully appreciated your gleaming head, Demelza bodice and the super Santa’s grotto you created for him. Now you can rest up and let him shoulder the responsibilities for a while.
Love to all of you I’ve missed.
Am really puny after Fec 4, but happy to knit, loaf about dozing in front of telly and generally behaving like a teenager. It’s my daughter’s 15th tomorrow, and a crowd are coming round for pizza this afternoon, that’ll be nice to see them, lovely girls. On a grosser note, anyone really pi**ed off with having no hair left “down there”? It doesn’t seem possible to pee straight any more … like the sprinkler unit is always on… a minor irritation I know.
Hope you have a good Sunday, love Anna xxxx
Ooh just seen Rachael’s post - you clearly need a day on the sofa, summoning your strength. It really is so exhausting isn’t it? Can’t imagine even walking to the end of the road! Good vibes beaming to you, Anna
Thanks my lovelies! Well hand seems to be responding but they would not let me out today, absolutely lovely consultant oncologist I saw yesterday came to see me today and said she was not ready to release me yet. But I am glad it is responding as they were not sure what it was. Apparently my veins are just not happy so they may put a central line in for last two chemos or do it in the other arm. Won’t know though for a while.
You all cheer me up - but so sorry to hear how many of you are suffering! I nearly slapped my older sister who said to me ‘keep your chin up!’. Not a clue! We need to be able to rant and cry when we want to! It is healthy!
Take care and good luck to everyone getting treatments this week. P xx
Lots of love to you PaulS!! Hope you’re not in too much pain and that those antibiotics are doing there thing, soon be home, this truly is a testing time, Ness I’m feeling a bit tearful today, had a blub in the shower and felt a bit better, it’s like a pressure cooker and if we don’t let it out then we’ll explode, I’m so tired and not looking forward to bloods tomorrow, hope they find a vein, they all hurt so I know it’s not going to be easy, but I just keep thinking nearly done, watching mushy Christmas films is helping, ho ho ho and all that!!
Lots of love to all, I keep repeating my chemo mantra " just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean you have a bad life", deep breath and on we go!! ???xxx Sam
Morning beauties,
And special hugs to everyone who is low, teary, poorly or anxious right now. Boy, it sure is a long haul.
I feel completely poisoned today, like the worst hangover ever and am only fit for sitting on the sofa or in bed. I know it’s only temporary, and in a few days I’ll bounce back, but the sh*t week after FEC sure grinds you down. Seem to be accumulative too. So on with daytime TV, and knitting. Gotta stay positive. We are ticking off the treatments and this rotten phase will end. We are all champions for getting through it. Sending out the positive vibes, mince pies help a great deal I find…
Love Anna XXXXXXXXXXXX
Forgot to say - Sam, do you numb up with emla cream before bloods? I find it has transformed the experience, and they can dig around for a vein without me feeling it, as long as you put on a big blob at least 30 minutes beforehand. Just wish they’d let us do it for chemo too … veins are a right pain. Mine have gone dark and hard 
Hello Lovlies!! Thankyou for lovely wishes!! Just got back from bloods, 4 tries, ended up using a baby cannula lol, dripped out about 2 drops a minute BUT all done so PHEW!! Fingers crossed all good for TAX 5 tomorrow, and to you too Den, anyone else this week?
Just going to make a huge shepherds pie, steroids do come in handy sometimes, bed clothes all washed and dried, floors mopped, by 9am!! Going to take next 4 now, think I’ll be watching all 24 hours of Phils marathon text Santa, ?,
Lots of love to you all, whizz buzzing off I pop, xxx Sam
Hi Girls , can I just say - I’m not so keen on Fec- sickness started Tuesday evening and I ended up back at the hospital getting fluids and anti sickness meds . Having been told by onc to go to chemo ward - when hubby called we were sent to A&E. Anyway, can’t fault them - I was seen quickly and was put into a room, hooked up to fluids and had my bloods taken . They did want to keep me in but as there was no infection and I just had low potassium I was allowed to go home. I was given some liquid potassium but it was too blooming horrid to drink ?. Feeling much better today - have started to eat now so hopefully the worst for this one is over. Just getting fed up now and want this over like us all. I did receive some beautiful flowers and choccys from work today ?. They had the Xmas Doo on Saturday and were thinking of me - before they all got drunk???. Sending hugs to everyone feeling rubbish and good luck to those having treatments this week - take care xx
Blimey we are in the wars at the moment aren’t we!! Glad you’re home Nutty, sorry suffer so much with nausea and sickness, we all react so differently!!
Anna I had been using it for bloods but they told me not to last time because I can’t react if it’s in the wrong place, that’s why they won’t let me use it for chemo, shame because it really did help!! I knew I’d get lots of horrid SE with chemo, as we all did, but I never even thought about the veins, never had problems with bloods being taken in the past, but boy the whole arm is just so painful, like yours Anna, hard, dark and all sticking out, so even a small knock is agony, but I’ve researched it and in 90% of cases they are back to normal in 6 to 12 months, so that’s ok!! Xxx Sam
Getting home! Yeah! Still have to wait to get a Doppler test to see if there has been a thrombosis in my arm but even if there has will get injections. Goodness we are all having a hard time !
P xx
Ps nutty you can get soluble black currant potassium tablets from holland and barratt, I take them when I’m doing low carb eating in my other life xxx
Well done for bloods and getting out of hospital in one piece!!! ANNA like you have felt POISONED for a good few days and nights but managed to get up today thank god. The gross taste in mouth is so depressing as can’t enjoy my tea!!! Loads of love…
Well done PaulS in getting out, and GOOD LUCK to Tax girls this week. Glad bloods done Sam, albeit slowly, and thanks for the heads up on manky veins healing up in the future. Not enjoying my distorted old arm right now, I look like a Peruvian mummy! Off to make even more food, boy I am an eating machine right now. Love Anna
I love you all, what an amazing support network we all are for each other 
I’m feeling a whole lot better today…in fact back to nearly normal, or what counts for the new normal anyway!!
Anna, I am totally with you on the peeing issue, I would love to be able to **bleep** in a straight line again, hahaha. Each time it happens I think ‘I can’t believe people pay for this to be done to them!!’ My advice for FEC is eat as much as you can, it really does help you bounce back quicker!! Wish I had a solution to the disgusting TAX mouth though, it is very miserable making.
Hope everyone’s coping today, hang in there!!!
Ness xxx
Home!! Yeah!! P xx
Hee hee I’m also a member of the ‘wandering wee’ club!! At first I couldn’t work out what was happening to my aim lol, I thought well this is new?!! So many uses for body hair that we just take for granted, lol, I’ll appreciate every strand in future ??,
Ooh posted to quickly, YAYYY you’re home PaulS, happy days!! Xxx
Good luck Den tomorrow, mines at 11, if all goes to plan, I’m channelling PMA all the way, what time is yours? Xxx
Pam I know it must feel like that, but we are all still here for you, think of it as we’ll still be having treatment just different ones at different stages, xxx
I’m in whizz bang steroid mode, so think I’ll be spending the night with Philip the silver fox, ?, nanight girls sleep sweet and minimum SE xxx Sam
Morning ladies being a few days since I posted anything but do keep up to yours.
Sorry to read about your hospital stay Pauls glad to hear your feeling better.
I too am a member of the wee club haha. The problems when u need to use the public loos and don’t want to sit on the toilet.
Bloods tomorrow fingers crossed.
Have a good day. Cx
I took my steroids while I was there last time, Pam…had my chemo about the same time as you are due. Good luck today, and everyone else with bloods and treatments xxxx