Loads of love Den and Samps XXXXX poor Den you don’t need anything else to worry about! I’ve never been able to wee straight after giving birth to my son 15 years ago!! So one less thing to worry about! Felt a bit shivery last night…couldn’t warm up then woke up boiling in the night! Then a bit of a sweat and then it’s like the Tax lifted. Walked daughter to school but legs were shaking on the way back. Can’t underestimate the power of the drugs! Glad you’re feeling better Ness x just when you feel like you can’t take anymore you seem to turn a corner. Xxxx
Wandering wee club, ha ha, I like it! GOOD LUCK gals, let us know how it went… Am still properly laid up, very weak, disorientated and dizzy, I know it’s gonna improve and there’s no point being impatient. Just the ruby red cocktail doing its powerful work… back to the sofa. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Anna
Hello beautbeams
Been off grid a little, as been out and about. Third week of chemo cycle and I try to fit in 3 weeks worth of social stuff! So damn tired but keen to keep living! 3 trips to London this week for gigs, cabaret and general boozing. Such fun. Why the hell not I say!
Last night I went to the LGFB workshop. It was good, but I felt young and not really part of the gang. They didn’t focus much on eyebrows and eyelashes which I thought odd, but the goody bag was fab. Overall a good event. I was probably a bit gloomy as tired and sad (would have been my sister’s 45th birthday today), but I’m normally chirpy so it’s all relative and I’m sure I didn’t appear to be so!
Off to get the inn-keeper now (can’t wait for the nativity). Finishes nursery at 330pm.
Dreading next week’s Tax. That first week was horrendous. Anyone started cycle 2 of Tax? Is it any better?
xx
HI Peegee I’m on day 7 post tax two. Had less complications this time ( no swollen glands) but I find it really intense from day 3 to 6 . It’s not easy but seems to lift quickly by day 7 for me although still weak. I give into it and stay in bed for those days and only do stuff when I can. Not nice. Really thirsty this time. It was much easier this time knowing what to expect and k owing it would pass which seems a big part of the battle xx
Evening Sunbeams! Glad you’re done and home Den! All the best for tomorrow Pam!
Wow you’ve got a social life and a half Peegee lol, I haven’t got the energy for more than 1 night out on this, and that’s pushing it lol, I think I did so much partying until my early 40’s that I’m happy to stay at home now, old fartdom suits me fine now lol! But you go girl!!
You take it easy Anna, rest is the way forward!!
And love to you all!
Had the best nurse today who got cannula in first time, what a relief! She said it’s hard going when the veins are so hard and sore but I’m just relieved it’s done, 5 hours later, 3 beef and horse radish rolls, 2 brownies and a large skinny latte later I’m home, haven’t slept since Sunday, and still whizz banging with the steroids ( I also take mine at chemo Pam, first 4 at 7:30 am, second 4 at midday), I can’t believe I’ve only got 1 more, bizarre feeling, bit mixed, but all in all good!!!
Take care and have a chilled night lovelies, ??? xxx Sam
Thanks beamers
Whitfield, I am not having Paclitaxel (Taxol), I’m having Docetaxel (Taxotere), they are similar though, thanks.
Sam, my social life is all very well, but man, I’m tired! Achy body doesn’t help. And I guess I don’t help it! Ha!
Rachael, thanks pal, that sounds achievable. I’m supposed to be going out on day 3 (forgot I bought Paul Heaton tickets - bought them in July, the day before my breast clinic appointment) but I’m not confident I’ll be going. I haven’t written it off yet though.
Sam, one more to go, that’s amazing. A bit scary too, no?
xx
Hello Sunnies, boy, those steroids do sound a handful; so much energy, are they to combat the sickness or do they work with the Tax? Sam - I hope you will get some rest at some stage, body needs it after the bursts of activity. On the contrary, I have v low energy, like a poorly disorientated sloth, so p’raps I could do with some steroids! Just pootling about like an old’un, and falling asleep at every opportunity… whoops, there’s another nap I wasn’t expecting! Dizziness a bit better, and you are probs right about low bloods Pam, as I’m craving iron-rich foods, so chomping on liver and spinach. Am warming sore arm with hottie, PaulS, hope yours is softening up … well, it’s all pretty exciting round here isn’t it? Had an extraordinary hallucination (FEC does this to me) that my DNA was being modified … how wierd is that? TTFN, and love to all of you at your various stages.
Sam, it’s truly amazing that you’ve got just the one more sess to go, one more vein to find …boy we are all powering through now, certainly getting closer to the finish line. Roll on those final sessions, we can do it! Love Annaxxxxxxx
And Pam - of course, Sunbeams will be around at Christmas! I’m FEC-ing on the 18th, so will be pretty crappy at XMas too, based on this cycle… sending good vibes, A
Morning ladies bloods good for Fridays chemo. Don’t know about u guys but by. 8:30 I’m asleep on the sofa this Tax is exhausting.
Pam tax seems to kick in 48 hours after. Paracetamol codeine and a couple of heat pads will help u through.
My last one is the 26th so will pop in Xmas day.
Wow Pauls that was a bit scary. Glad ur feeling better. So why wont they put in a picc line for the last two? Make u wonder if it’s the cost element.
Have a good day. I’m off to the soft play today catching up with a friend whilst the boys play. Cx
Hi everyone
It seems we are all struggling to the end, but we are nearly there!!! I don’t have much love for the docitaxal ! Sore mouth, chest pain, tiredness I’ve never felt, I find it hard to get up lots of days… But we have to remember it is making us better and just for the short term feeling pants.
I have some exciting news!!! My boyfriend Will popped t question!!! I finally met the one 
Hope you all have the heating on nice and toasty and are doing and eating happy things 
xxxx
CONGRATULATIONS LOU AND WILL!!! 
??? . That’s amazing and lovely news, made me smile and very happy for you!! XxxxxX ???
Congratulations! That’s fab news. Best wishes to u both xx
Thanks ladies 
looking forward to feeling bit more energetic over the next couple of days and then I can start doing what ever you do when you get engaged xxx
HI Beamies I wrote a really long message this morning then lost connection! So frustrating! No idea what I said now! Had a return to work nightmare last night. In my dream I was holding a team meeting bald and everyone was staring at me yikes!! In real life my Zumba teacher asked me to go to the church hall for mulled wine and mince pies next week. She’s a lovely lady. I started Zuma just before diagnosis in May. She has always encouraged me to come back. What I realise is I feel less like myself now with no eyelashes, wig no eyebrows and old lady exhaustion. I feel nervous about mixing in old circles where I hardly recognise myself or my old life. Each day is such a challenge I’m in such a chemo bubble. On another note feel cold to the bone one moment then boiling the next. Night sweats. Periods stopped on Tax so maybe menopause effect? Don’t feel too bad today just lacklustre and flat. Sawdust mouth and frustrated because I love my food. All a bit of a drag. Congrats Lou xxx looks like we’re all going to be chemoed up over Xmas…but we will get there. Sooooo tedious but necessary. I’ve got 5 weeks of radio after and ANNA I’ve got to get my boob pumped up ala Dolly before to stretch skin!!! Help!!! How do they do it? Xxxx much love ps peegee you may be ok for the concert? I felt worse on day 4 and 5 which coincides with tax low immunity xxxx
Morning Sunbeams! I’m feeling ok so far, day 3 of tax 5, took sleeping tabs last night, got first 5 hours since Sunday so feeling top of the morning lol, Rach I’m the same, no period since FEC 2, hot sweats then ice block, I bloomin hope it’s the menopause but we won’t know till next year, so fingers crossed for me!!
It’s our 21st anniversary today, here’s a little ditty I wrote for Fb,
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Tommy P!
21 years for you and me!
Not quite how we’d planned to celebrate,
With me balder than you on our dinner date!
We’ll have a good Christmas, just you and me,
While Mexico gets the rest of the jammy bugger family!
Lots of love and thankyou for being the best you can,
Now get booking next years holiday, there’s a good man ? xxxx?
Off to do my injection and wait for breakfast in bed which I can smell wafting up the stairs, then a day of rest I think!! Hope you’re all ok and having minimal SE, and best of luck to all having cocktails this week, brain fuddled so will try harder tomorrow lol, no promises it’ll be any better though! ? lots of love xxx Sam
Sounds like lots of you are suffering…Pam, it sounds like you had such a faff around, and PaulS, the hand sounds horrid 
Hugs all round xxx
Nice to hear some good news from Lou though…what exactly DO you do when you’re engaged??!!! Not something I’ll ever experience (partner and I Don’t Do Marriage) so do let us know if it’s exciting!!
I’m starting to count down to the xmas hols now when I won’t have to keep revving myself up to go and teach sodding Christmas songs in the evenings (am anti-Christmas as well as anti-marriage…there are lots of things I do like though, not a complete grump!!!)
Generally feeling better though. I too would be pleased if my body would decide whether freezing or boiling is the way forward!! And it’s definitely not menopause here, perhaps just practicing for tamoxifen later :-/
Ness xxx
Happy thursday…
Rachael, your post had so much of how I feel in it! I feel in that Chemo bubble… Where did me go!!!
Sam I love your ditty!! Happy anniversary
Ness I honestly have no idea what you do…haha, lots of dancing with no pants on?! Lol only wish my mojo would return
My T part of Chemo has defo been tougher…sore and manky mouth, spotty, achy, exhausted…but today (day10) I feel human!!! Yay although my Christmas tree is still on t front room floor as I can’t seem to muster t enthusiasm to put it up…there’s always tomorrow
Big hugs to you all
Xx
Evening Beams
Well a busy day for me getting decs and tree up. As I know I won’t want to do it after tax. Little one loves it. Sooo excited.
Pam u can get the wheat bags from Amazon. Sounds like u got ready messed about at the hospital. It isn’t fair to make u waiting that long. Ur parking must of been a lot.
Pauls I too had a couple of nose bleeds at the end of fec 2 none since though.
Ladies I hope ur day hasn’t been too hard. Cx
Hello Beamies,
Good to read your posts and especially Lou’s lovely news. Congratulations!
Glad PaulS you are picking up after such a horrible experience. this stuff sure is strong… And Pam, how dare they mess you about like that, don’t they know how much it takes to psych ourselves up for each session? I guess you just have to roll with it…Re boob inflation Rachael, I get it done at my breast clinic. The surgeon puts in saline, 35 mls at a time, to match the volume they took away. He does it every 3 weeks, and I use numbing cream to make insertion of (very fine) needle easy. In all, it is straightforward and not horrible. Sometimes I get a bit of pulled-muscle pain from the muscle stretching, but paracetamol sorts that out.
And I know what you mean about losing your sense of self. Maybe we will have to do a bit of re-inventing here. I’m coming back a more feisty version of myself. Glad we no longer have a swearbox (tried to modify language of 3 teenage daughters) I’d be stuffing in tenners!
Phew! Am turning the corner after a week properly laid up. All the b***** SEs at once, and few new ones for good measure. Am realising that FEC is accumulative, and the week post-cocktail is a long one, but not many more to go. Feeling properly festive here now the weather has turned so cold. Am watching cooking shows, eating as much cake as I can and generally chilling. Have knitted a fantastically ugly blanket, has to be seen to be believed. Rustic is one way to describe it… even the kittens seem a little afraid of it!
Love to you all, and sending positive vibes and hugs, love Anna XXXXXXXXXXXX
Me again - lovely song Sam, congrats! I love a winter wdding. In fact it’s our wedding anniversary this weekend, 28 years, we acually got together in 1980, aged 18 & 19, on the first day of art school! We were right silly buggers back then, babies really, but somehow it lasted and we grew up together…