I had a return to work meeting with my head. I originally worked 4 days a week, but requested 2 days until we break up for the summer hols. She was great and I’ve had my new contract through. Before my op I went back for 4 days and was so run down, had to have a trip to the hospital.
Explain how its been a stressful time, cancer doesn’t just affect your body, I’ve found this tough and scary on a mental level and wanted to ease myself back in. The Maggie’s centres offer lots of advice if you wanted legal/official info
Hope goes well,
Lou xx
Hair great! Love it! Now just want it to grow in as wispy and thin though ok when clipped up as lots coming in on top!
Realise as weeks pass I’m getting closer to my first annual check and getting nervous and anxious. Know this is normal but my body has let me down do panic setting in!
Yes I am in Scotland. Femara great as side effects gone after two weeks. P xx
How are you all? hope Pam less worried about CT scan, and results good. It must be at the back of all of our minds, that the disease may have/may choose to spread. But what can we do? Try and get on with stuff, enjoy life and don’t waste a day with negative thoughts. Esay to say I know. Getting back to work will help I am sure, well done, that’s another hurdle crossed. Personally I am feeling less freaked out than before, but suffering most awfully with Tamoxifen, which does appear to be a right b***** for some people! Hot flushes all the time and I get the most awful leg cramps, the last one was so severe, it has torn my calf muscle! I am glugging real quinine tonic water (gin too heh heh) and will go on quinine suphate (doesn’t look very nice drug…) if no improvements. How was Portugal Sam? We had a fab week in Cornwall, weather iffy, but so good to be on holiday, and celebrating end of treatments with friends. The house had an Aga, and I am deeply envious. Am now watching Aga porn as my kids term it! Hope everyone is busy and happy. Shall we meet up? What about a celebration tea together in London? Not so good for Beamers in the north, but could it work?
Hello there, Thanks for tip on acupuncture and hot flushes … might give it a go, gotta do something, this is ridiculous. I agree, ASDA post-op bras a distinctly odd, but their swimsuits are totally brilliant. if you have had a MX and like me are a bit lopsided with delayed recon, then look no further. The spotty one (£12) is fab; and what a bargain, higher neck and underam, sleekens tummy and creates a natural boob shape. No need for waxing either, with the nice modest leg. Oh how these things seem to be important now. Makes me feel a bit old! Hope you are enjoying the sunshine. I keep on getting mild sunburn, am sun sensitive everywhere. Good luck with any tests/follow-ups gals, I’ve got my 12-month one in July, hope it hasn’t made you feel unsettled. What a year. We are totally brilliant to have got through it!
Hi Sunbeams, I had a beautiful week in Portugal, ate far too much and drank enough thankyou very much , I was very careful not to burn and used factor 50 around the boob/ node scar area, did well then sat in garden yesterday on and off and got a tad red, not burnt but I’m definitely reacting a lot more to the sun, so be careful ladies!!
Anna I’m the same on Tamoxifen, the hot sweats are on the hour, as I said before it doesn’t matter if I take it morning or night, I said I’d give it 3/4 months and I’m now going to see the docs about taking venlafaxine, said to help the hot flushes, im a bit worried because it’s an antidepressant and I’m not a depressive person so I’m wary of the effects, but I need to sleep more than 30 minute intervals lol!!!
My hair is back to blonde and I’ve had compliments on my ‘pixie’ cut, which is lovely but hilarious as scissors haven’t been near this head in 9 months ??
Just when I think my nails are ok they peel off again and my big toenail is loose now, wtf!! The fun never stops!!!
I’m not worried about if/and/or/when it may or may not come back, if it happens it happens, me wasting time and effort and life worrying about it won’t change a single thing, so I just enjoy and get on with it, it works ???
Back to work soon, God knows how that’s gonna go, I’m nicely knackered most of the time!!!
See you ALL soon hopefully, I’m up for London no probs ??? lots of love xxx Sam
Holiday sounds fab Sam! Well done you!
Hope op is quick n easy Pam
Am up for meeting in London depending when with move and stuff, but only 45 min on train fro. Here.
Was meant to be my last radiotherapy today, but got a call to say a machines broken, so go tomorrow…
SO LAST one tomorrow!!!
Has anyone else seen the video on Facebook about metastatic cancer? I’ve deactivated my account for a while as really upset me, I didn’t feel it had much education value, just scare mongering…
Hope you all well
Lou xxx
Morning Beams, good to hear you are all moving on with life.
Hope all heals well Pam.
Paul why not split the money between the two they are both great .
Not much has happened here still waiting to get a date for my ovaries removed hoping it will be in the next couple of months as I’m off to college in September. Totally knackered for most of the time but have to accept this is my new normal.
Would love to meet some of the girls. Have you a month in mind?
Do any of you use Facebook? we could set up a closed group. What do you think?
Enjoy your day ladies. Char xx
Two very dignified responses by both Tink and Belinda.
1 year ago I was in the primary breast cancer boat, hoping to have “beaten it” after mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy. Today, at the age of 35, I am in the secondary cancer boat. Things can change in a heart beat with this disease.
Having watched such an inspiring video, I am utterly dismayed to read the responses such as “scaremongering” and “they should be locked up” on a site like BCC. Good heavens, as if being diagnosed with breast cancer isn’t lonely enough, without those who actually have cancer turning on others?! It’s hard enough to educate people who know nothing about breast cancer, let alone those who have the disease yet refuse to accept the facts. I hate having to repeat again and again when asked “when will your treatment finish”, that it never will. Videos like this help to educate people on the reality of this disease. Breast cancer is not pink and fluffy. Yes, the 5 year survival rate is excellent, but that does not take into account people living with secondaries, who are counted as “surviving”.
The reality of breast cancer is, there is no cure. It can come back 1 year, 2 years, 5 years even 20 years later.
Of course we all hope to stay forever in the primary boat, but unfortunately, for a lot of women, this is just not the case.
I am crushed at the head-in-the-sand attitude of primary women on the site. Of course people must stay positive, but educate yourselves to the FACTS ladies.
Thank you Pam. I’m sorry if the message appeared as a rant, I just couldn’t believe the comments. Just so upsetting.
I agree, people don’t want to know the facts. My family are all well and truly in the positivity camp (as am I generally). It’s how people cope with such a frightening prospect.
I feel I am very fortunate to be part of this group made up of people in the Primary boat and those in the Secondary boat. Personally I hope I am perceived as very positive to those around me as I feel I am responsible for nurturing them through my experience of BC. They give me unwavering positivity to the point where I do, at times, want to scream and tell them to ‘get real’ as there are no guarantees that I wont be changing boats anytime soon. However, I understand that really no one wants to hear my inner ramblings in the real world, it is all too scary for them. I do spend time reading posts in the SBC area and learning so so much about the horridness of SBC but also about the absolute grace and dignity with which the ladies conduct their lives. Knowing that there is the support and friendship from people who have already experienced the unthinkable is reassuring as I personally dont think I would have that support in the real world having experienced peoples reactions to having BC at all. Most people cope with thinking/believing that we are all cured with treatment - to try to explain the longer term reality is too painful to do and to watch responses. I like my oncologists words on my consent to radiotherapy form under ‘reason for treatment’ - he wrote ‘for a chance of a cure from cancer’…and that is exactly what all the treatment has been about ‘a chance’. A chance worth taking. Love to everyone. Katie xxx
Hey apologies to all, I should have worded my post properly…
I was upset as the video played automatically on my Facebook, I hadn’t chosen to see it. I understand the different cancers, my mother has had cancer since I was 10 years old. I am very aware of the impact on children, being a single parent, my sons father passed away 3 years ago Xmas eve, so rather than denial I feel I have no other choice to try n keep going and perhaps I am too weak that the video deeply upset me…
I didn’t mean to cause anyone on here distress, was letting off steam and will think more carefully before posting
Xx
Good Evening to everybody who’s posted on here recently, and lots of love to all Sunbeams!! Well my world has changed today, my daughter passed her driving test first time, I didn’t realise you could be so happy and so terrified at the same time, I might lock her in the house,just for a few years, that’ll be fine eh
?,
Got Drs appt to get venlafaxine next week for the hot sweats, thanks Jo for your great message, can I ask what dose you are on?
I’m in bed reading with a glass of Prosecco, left over from the celebrations, I feel like the Queen of Sheba, simple things ?,
Lots of lovey stuff to you Sunbeams, have a great day tomorrow and repeat ? xxx Sam
Oh Paul’s, I knew you’d be devastated by all of the misplaced confusion that went on, I wanted to inbox you but I’m never sure what to say, but I want you to know that I think I speak for all Sunbeams when I say that we know you, we love you very much and we know that you would never have meant ANYTHING even slightly similar to how the comments were taken, same goes for Lou, so lots of love and hugs to you, please don’t be a stranger, and have a fabulous time tonight, your fundraising is AWESOME!! Huge hugs to you xxxxx??? Sam
Hi PaulS, I am from the October 2014 forum but as I started my chemo towards the end of September I have always followed this thread too. I would just like to say I hope you re-consider your decision to stop using the forum. I have always found you to be very helpful, comforting and inspirational really to all the ladies here. I know what you wrote was in no way meant to offend anyone and I know there would be no malice intended. I can see exactly what you were trying to get across, and I can see “faults” for want of a better word, on both sides. I certainly felt very uncomfortable reading ALL the comments.
We have all been affected by this awful disease and we really need to stick together. So please PaulS keep posting on the forum.
Have a great night at your charity event. Love and hugs the everyone xxx
Blimey these last few days have been hard, reading the posts has not been pleasant. The comments weren’t not meant to offend it was meant in a supportive way. It would be a great shame to lose any of the September ladies I have found you all a great support. We need to draw a line under this.
Paul I really hope tonight went well. Hang in there we are all still here for you.
Sunbeams a big hug to all of you, stay strong xx
The last posts have been such a knock, really blew me away. Haven’t cried so much for months. I knew that they would upset you too PaulS - and Lou. Lovely, kind, helpful friends. I have to say it’s taken some of the positives out of posting here, and like you PaulS I am not so keen to venture out here any more. It looks different now. However, look at the stats - some of the posts have been viewed 1,000 times. I figure that our determined, practical, happy, kindly, daft sometimes but overwhelmingly caring chats that have kept us all going have ALSO have supported lots of other women too, frightened just like we were (and still are). So Sunbeams, thank you for your brilliant posts, support, tips, advice and just being there and going along the route together. We are amazing - look at what we’ve been through in the last year. My warmest wishes, hugs, support and kind words to all women who encounter this terrible disease, be it primary or secondary. Lots of love, Havingkittens.
Hello lovely Sunbeams, and as Anna said, hello to the many others that read all of our jumbled up but hopefully helpful gumf, I know this time last year I’d just been diagnosed and had a bit of time before surgery, I must have read at least 5 threads from start to finish in 5 days, so helpful it was unbelievable and I really felt like I knew the girls by the end of usually about 100 pages at least!!
This has upset our little family very much and I feel that if we can learn and get anything positive from this then its that the inbox is probably the best way forward if offence is taken, this way the issue can be discussed and explained fully and privately, and it doesn’t sully a years worth of love, friendship and care, or hurt people that haven’t an ounce of malice in there bodies,
Love to you all, Paul’s hope the fundraiser was a blast, I’m sure it was!
Have a super Saturday night, I will be mostly eating, drinking and dancing, till I flake out after a couple of hours, such a lightweight these days! Xxx Sam
Hope you there PaulS (I need you to come and hold my hand!) Hope the fundraiser was a blast!!
finished my rads Wednesday, when I had my check up in with the nurse, burst into tears!! I should have been over the moon and jumping for joy, but suddenly felt overwhelmed…
So it was lovely to start back to work the next day! I had such a great 2 days, the kids were great, staff made me feel welcome I didn’t think about being I’ll once all day!
Was my 36 birthday yesterday. Spent afternoon at hospital with my son at ENT clinic, they cortorized his nose there and then! …We walked the dog, ordered takeaway and watched a comedy, had a lovely evening together, snuggled under blankets, wearing onsies…ha, staying in is the new going out
Also looking for a new house to rent back home, can you believe the difference in rental prices across the UK…?!?
Love to all
Lou xx
Hi, Murphy here again from the October 14 group. I am getting more and more angry and upset as the days are going on. This has been blown up out of all proportion, when one sunbeam was simply trying to support another sunbeam, nothing more and nothing less. I am astonished that this has grown arms and legs, and has resulted in a them and us scenario. As Pam said, we all cope differently, some ladies want all the information that they can get their hands on, other ladies can only deal with the here and now. It is completely an individual choice what information we want to take on board and what information we don’t want.
I and probably most ladies, was told on my very first visit by my bcn NOT to google, NOT to read/look at stuff except from reputable sites eg, BCC, Cancer Research, etc. I DO NOT class facebook as a reputable site!!! And to have a video pop up uninvited for you to view when you may be going through a vulnerable stage is the pits. If and when I want to find out more information about SBC I will look out the information for myself from a REPUTABLE SITE, NOT FACEBOOK. This is all about personal choice. I KNOW this is what PaulS was saying to Lou, she was supporting a fellow sunbeam, with whom she had probably supported a million times over the past 9 months.
I do not know Lou or PaulS, as I say I belong to another group, although I have silently gone through every day with the September group, but I was looking up old posts of mine last night and the very first post I ever put on this forum was answered by PaulS, encouraging me and trying to help, as she has always done. It will be such a shame if we loose such a lovely kind lady, for simply trying to support someone else who is going through the same.
I am not usually so outspoken, and I am sorry if I have upset anyone, that is not my intent. We all have our battles to fight. Please let us all do it the way we feel able to.
I’m feeling so guilty right now!!
You know cancer can happen to anyone! We all come from different walks of life with a whole different bag of life experience and characteristics…
I have my own ‘characteristics’ that I’ve always had, I have to work on many things personally to make me a better person. So,I find it hard to plan ahead, organise my thoughts, well I find it hard to organise lots of things…I’m slightly dyslexic, would definitely be on the spectrum…I enjoyed coming here in a relaxed context, not worrying about spelling, grammar and would just type as I thought… Often I’d come just to share my day if I was feeling lonely
Life is about learning and I was perhaps a bit naive, but I’ve realised this group isn’t as small as I thought and I have learnt how others with different experiences feel. I apologised and it was genuine. I’d be happy to leave it here. I feel awful that someone is so upset for just offering support and is now maybe feeling awkward, bad, lonely and probably has that sick feeling in their stomach each time your phone beeps wondering what comment is posted now.
I’m a bit of an idiot at times and should think more! Lesson learnt, but please someone just post and tell me about a night out, pizza they had etc…before my guts are completely eaten with guilt!! lol
Xxx
, I was very careful not to burn and used factor 50 around the boob/ node scar area, did well then sat in garden yesterday on and off and got a tad red, not burnt but I’m definitely reacting a lot more to the sun, so be careful ladies!!
