Mmm… Rioja - hope that’s a BIG bottle! [holds out crystal glass, sod the enamel mug, that’s for the cappuccino at around 3am when I have had an adequate sufficiency of Rioja.]
It was just my dad and his fiance (both in their late 80s, bless 'em!) and my sister, so not a “party” as such. Just as well. I felt positively nauseous when the telly went all gushy about 2011. Didn’t spoil the spirit for them by blurting out my news, but did have a lovely phone call from an old friend who’s invited me to her wedding in May, so I’m delighted to have something not related to bodies at all to look forward to later in the year.
So I will say (through gritted teeth) HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!
Thanks for the welcome Sophie. I’ve done 3 FEC, and have my first of three Tax on the 4th, and first of 18 herceptin on the 5th. So half way through the chemo, but still have my op to go, as chemo uo front. Full mastectomy and lymph node removal for me to look forward to. Must admit, the shouts of 'happy new year, ’ did ring a little hollow last night. Stayed up, but wish I hadn’t!! Glad I’ve found this thread, you ladies have the sort of black humour that I can relate to!
Was your first FEC ok? You get back from hospital thinking ‘what now?’ don’t you, waiting for the side-effects to kick In. Are you going to shave the rest of your hair off, or keep it? It’s funny (not) how quite large patches can be unaffected. I looked like I had male pattern baldness! Had to laugh, told the kids they had matching parents now!
ChoccieMuffin- know what you mean about the new year - but genuine ‘happy new year’ to all you guys, I know you know what is going through all our minds…I am being trailed into the woods by a disgruntled and slightly sulky, Haveaf***inghappynewyearyourself…
Tracey x
Tracey - it’s bizarre how I almost ‘wished’ the se’s to kick in - felt like a fraud for first couple of days as felt hungover, but not ill… ha! Days four/five and six were killers! Still, amazing how quickly I felt better - by end of day six was doing housework, and day seven felt perfectly fine!
Hair will all come off - don’t think the kids would let me keep a mohican anyhow (but it followed me home…lol). Planning the deed today… had my long (well, past braline) hair cut at beginning of October, before dx, just ‘because’, and was glad I had once I knew I’d have to have chemo - so it’s only shaggy bob length to come off - but has always been dyed within an inch of its life - and already alarmed to see how many grey hairs are making an appearance as I haven’t bothered doing roots since mx (almost eight weeks ago). Hadn’t thought about the patchy baldness <grin>… gosh, how attractive!!! Have had to tie my hair back today cos it keeps falling in my coffee, one strand at a time, and OH won’t be up til later cos he’s working nights at mo. Almost tempted to just take scissors to it, but I’ve seen how badly I cut the girls’ fringes…</grin>
Happy New Year, one and all, and I’ve been briefly visited by Positivethinking - if you’re all wondering where she is. She came along to point out that I’m not sharing the sofa with Ohmygodmyheadhurts like I normally would be on Jan 1st…
Nope, I’m being sat on by “OhF**kIt” today, together with her bessie mate, “Can’tBeAr…, erm, Bothered”. Persistent, those two, don’t know when to just b****r off and LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Thing is, when they’re around even PositiveThinking just gets annoying! (But she’s right about Ohmygodmyheadhurts staying out of the picture this morning, though she’s visited me once or twice since the start of December…)
Well, that’s that then. Can’t bring myself to wish my cancer girls an HNY, but I did bring a wordy gift for you all to carry around. Reach into your pocket whenever the going is a bit rough. It’ll be there. In 2011 and beyond.
Welcome to the camp site girlies and all the supplies we can muster.
Starting to tidy my tent and gather my bits and pieces, it sounded quite a party!
My boob is really hurting, was alright until the biopsy 7 weeks ago! Mind you they did do it 7 times, not including the anasthetic. Ouch. So ItsNotFair has made an unwelcome appearance at the edge of the field. Look out!! Don’t let her in your tent. She’ ll just keep looking at you with that pathetic ‘Poor You’ look on her face (Sure you’ve all seen that one recently, even if it’s just in the mirror)and then she’ll drink all your wine and eat all your biscuits. Positive Thinking is chained to my ankle and not happy about that at all but she has NO CHOICE! Hah!
‘Happy’ is perhaps not the word to describe the new year, let’s say Successful.
A Successful and very quick year to all you happy campers and wanderers of the woods.
PS Flame thrower works - ItsNotFair has bu**ered off x
How come I’m bothered about trivial stuff? How come the thought of losing my hair and losing a boob is really bothering me?
Rationality is telling me that the hair will grow back and the boob is not going to affect my life like the loss of an arm, or leg, or eyesight.
WoeIsMe on the other hand is glued to my shoulder whispering horrible BIG things into my ear. I hate feeling like this and those around can’t understand.
This is the first time that i have ever felt that i’m totally alone. I have wonderful support both family anf friends but i’m the Marathon runner and they are the ones standing cheering me on. I need them but it’s me that has to do it. (And I’m realising how much i speak in analogies!!)
Positive Thinking hasn’t slipped her chain but she’s having a good tug.
I am a great believer in all things pass - both good and bad - but wish that this particular time wouls pass quicker.
Bit gloomy in the field - need to get in the wood.
Staycalm- I think that Woeisme and Positivethinking are twins, and you can’t have one without the other! Maybe we would all be a bit freaky without Woeisme sometimes. Can’t remember who posted that link to the article in the Guardian written by the American journalist who was sick to the back teeth of all the positive ‘this is a gift’ type remarks, but it was very good. But yeh, I know what you mean, when Woeisme is perched on your shoulder, you just think, b****r off don’t you? And long to feel positive again. I’ve had two wobbles this past couple of weeks- one being HER+++ which always means a visit from Ohmygod, Ohf**k, Ohno etc etc. The second, was having a funny turn when out for a pub lunch - small fit and faint. Ambulance. Hospital. Talk of brain scans etc. Visit by WHATNEXT!?? Aaargh! Currently have Woeisme on one shoulder and Positivethinking on other, and don’t know who is going to win from one moment to the next!
Tracey x
I was thinking the same - thought it was something i said (wouldn’t be the first time!)
Am busy clanking and flashing (torch lovey, nothing horrible). Don’t be scared, the mediciene is scary but the other option is scarier.
Poitive Thinking chained to my leg, hence perkiness. I’m in tomorrow too for my 1st session which should have been 2 weeks ago but i had a reaction (Not running away but allergic!)Also nipped in today as my arm is really hurting but just brusing from biopsy.
Will continue clanking empty bottles and flashing torch. Do you want to borrow my flame-thrower?
x
Thank God I can see you in the distance & can hear the clanking bottles, am on my way to your tent now as have decided i would like to walk as far as i can with you tomorrow & then will return to look after tent/bottles etc & yes will borrow that flame thrower
Had a terrible feelsosorryformyself 5 mins there when I thought i had got lost but can see everyone back up ahead & am on my way.
Just lit a big beacon bonfire for you - can you see it, just ahead? I’m really not looking forward to FEC2… but mostly because I feel so well at the moment - so there’s the proof that the side effects do wear off between treatments, and you will feel ‘back to normal’ again!
Do you two both start tomorrow? Will be thinking of you, cheering you on, and waiting just ahead - don’t worry - the woods look darker from the outside, inside, there’s an awful lot of campfires and laughter - but bring a woolly hat… it’s getting cold
i find out on Thursday & had just begun to get the imalittlescarednow feeling but know all is ok as have found you all again & am back on the right path.
When is your FEC2 ? I can hold your torch/look after your tent too
Sarah - it’s on Friday, please feel free to tent sit and drink any alcohol you can find
Is it your first oncology visit on Thursday, or do you get the chemo nurse lecture and tour of facilities? You’ll be fine - again, it’s always the waiting that’s so horrible.
Great Sarah, I could do with the company.
When are you following us in?
In the meantime feel free to use my tent and supplies. Feeling V. positive today so quite clearly the gin/wine/port diet works!
I’m glad you’re feeling ok Trip and hopefully the next lot won’t knock you about too much. Thanks for the tip about the hat, have packed it along with a sleeping bag etc. If you find your beacon fading please feel free to borrow my flamethrower too. It works a treat, particularly when you want WoeisMe to clear off. x
1st Oncology visit so will get plan of next stage treatment after surgery am not even sure what the plan is as surgeon 1 said prob no chemo & surgeon 2 that eventually did op said prob yes chemo so in a way will be a relief to find out as the waiting,not knowing is often the worst part.
If you struggle to find your tents on your return girls, listen out for the hicups, promise not to drink it all
I can see you in the distance & can hear the clanking bottles, am on my way to your tent now as have decided i would like to walk as far as i can with you tomorrow & then will return to look after tent/bottles etc & yes will borrow that flame thrower 