Baldy picture 
bald and proud!!
Sometime I feel its like my battle scars! The least offensive one lol. I would say that I dont go around showing the others but I am lying.
I went to drop something into mu sons primary school during school hour and the lovely ;lady who works in the office asked after me and how I was doing. Turns out she had BC 18 months previous and Iâd never known Was lovely chatting to her and she ended up showing me her ANC and WLE scars. They were AMAZING. Just a tiny silver line for the WLE. No denting or anything. I cannot see mine ever looking like that as its currently mutilated and very deformed. But was still lovely to talk if not surreal flashing in the school office!
Harryduck = glad that is over for you, 7 hours>?! Poop.
Feel better sooon Rattles.
Got to go but will catch later xxxx
Sorry had to dash as nurse was here. Flipping PICC line blocked she couldnât shift it so off to hospital as the onc unit are the experts. Should have my own parking space there! Hope the wait isnât too long as have diarrhoea today. The joy. Seems to have about a 2 second warning so better wear big pants 
Hope se are small for every one. Xxx
I didnt read the posts properly - HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY DUCK!!! 
I know you had a grotty day but why not defer all celebrations for a week/10 days when you can eat cake and drink wine! And its your last docetaxol- brilliant!
Doggirl- sorry you are having a run (ha?!) of bad luck. I have a hopeless sense of humour. Is that an SE? It hits me between 7 and 10? Or maybe the antibiotics? Fingers crossed your picc line is now sorted.
I just got back from the Marsden. Neutophils 2.79 so that is good news. Now just got to go back and see surgeon tomorrow. Fingers crossed for drain to come out.
Rattles, x
Ha ha ha! Runs stopped. Seemed short lived? Just one of those things?
Picc line sorted so quick didnât even pay for parking. Result.
Happy birthday harryduck xxxxx
You seem on good form Rattles. Fingers crossed
For your drain removal x My onc comes down from the Marsden. Comes to see the country folk on Monday and Wednesdays. Just a secondment type thing but he should see me through treatment. Tis a coup here to have fancy
Thank you for birthday wishes. Hope your drain comes out Rattles and glad you sorted your blockage and plugged the other end doggirlâŠ! I have had enough today. think its a day 4 thing. No more tax its true but everything hurts and i cant sleep. Grumpy Grumpy Grumpy.
Happy belated Birthday Harry Duck - I am a bit grumpy myself today as well! Missed my physio as I had such a sore tummy!
Doggirl you are lucky going to such a spacious unit. There is about a foot between the treatment chairs in ours and I have to have mine on the Left hand side due to ANC. So she was virtually sitting on top of me - when I have chemo rage I am not to be messed with 
and she shook her wet jacket all over my jeans!!!
I go to Edinburgh for treatment - anyone else from May in Scotland perhaps? No-one in the house will shave my head!! Do you think they will do it for me at the Talking Head session tomorrow perhaps - or is that wishful thinking. How can they fill 2 hours on tying scarf techniques?
Hope everyone has a good day
xx
Hello buddies, lovely sunny day in Cheltenham - met a good friend in town for lunch and had a lovely lazy catch up. After feeling smug about not having any SEs from the injections all week I had really terrible bone pain in pelvis and lower back yesterday afternoon/evening after having the last one (number 7) - dosed myself up with co-codamol and lay on sofa watching my sisterâs keeper on telly which made me cry my eyes out!!! A pathetic sight, I was glad the rest of the household had already gone to bed so no one to witness it!!! Woke up feeling fine so maybe a good howl now and again is good therapyâŠHarryDuck - happy birthday sweetie - hope you feel better soon - it WILL pass! Doggirl - LOVE the baldy pic! Gosh the thing on your leg sounds horrid -glad it cleared up ok - thank goodness for your medical expertise - Polar Bear - hope your FEC2 went ahead ok and you dont suffer too many SEs. Rattles - Iâm glad you are recovering - Iâm jealous of your neutrophil score - hope these injections do the job and sort mine out for FEC3 next week. Hope all you other MAy buds are ok and not suffering SEs etc. Love Em XXX ps. went to holland and barrestt today and spent a small fortune on vits, green tea, flaxseed, nuts and various other supplements - if i take them all I wont need normal food at allâŠand I HATE green tea!!!
Hi Buddies, hope everyone who has had a horrible weekend feels better. Whatâs with this tiny font thing.
Rattles - hope your doc appointment goes OK tomorrow and you get your drain done
Harryduck - happy belated birthday although it doesnât sound very happy - 7 hours! No wonder you are grumpy. At least you donât have to have any more docetaxel. Hope you feel better soon
Doggirl - sounds like you have had a scary time. Did they say what the spots were, are they insect bites?
Em - hope your bone pain is better soon. I hate green tea too - bought a load when I was trying to lose weight, I reckon it works by making you feel so sick you canât eat anything!
Polarbear - hope your FEC2 goes OK and you get some more info about your liver.
Hope everyone else is OK. My back pain has just about gone - its a long standing chronic problem that flares up occasionally, nothing to do with cancer or chemo. Saw onc today and had bloods done, hopefully FEC3 is going ahead on Thursday. Also seem to be able to get cheaper taxi fares to and from hospital with bald head, headscarf, pale grey face etc (I donât drive) ! I am having chemo in Bristol, they seem to let you bring someone with you, and there are enough seats for nurse plus one âguestâ to sit with you.
Squeakymouse xx
I now feel the need to try green tea to see if i hate itâŠ
Love reading everyones posts, hope youâre less grumpy Harry Duck, make sure, when you feel well enough, you have a belated birthday celebration doing all the things you want to do.
Rattles, no I didnât get a neulasta injection, to be honest I tend to keep quiet now when they mention some new drug to take, guess theyâll press if I really need it. Rather keep my liver clear for a bit of sparkly once in a while, does me better than some of these drugs Iâm sure!
Claire x
Dont do it HARRYDUCK⊠green tea. bleurgh. Before this cancer lark I was doing a boot camp thing. Green tea was high on the list. Was following no dairy, no wheat, no processed food, no caffine, no sugar and no alcohol!! See being healthy doesnât work!
Emylou your day sounds lovely. Hope your aches and pains are sorted. I didnât have any thing from the injections. Lets hope theyâve done their job for next week Cannot believe how quickly it comes round. I too watched My Sisters Keeper last night. SOb sob. Had read the book and the film had a lame ending.
Kitten mad - I am going to lie star fish and appreciate all my space next week!! Ahhhhh the space lol. I do realise how lucky I am. Was up there today and we have a fridge with juice, water, fizzy drinks to help our selves to. Hot drinks (lots of green and herbal tea to ;-)) All free. Buffs for sale (only ÂŁ6.50) FEC cocktailsâŠ
Good luck for Thursday Squeakymouse. Hope you are milky the âlookâ for cheap taxi service? I did park in disabled bay in Tesco the other day. Was feeeling pathetic what with stupid gammy leg i felt justified! The GP reckons it was just a spot! He said everyone has bacteria on their skin and it just got infected? Not convinced. For the record I do shower daily!!
Hi everyone , hope you are all doing ok, got bloods done today, hoping they dont phone tomorrow ( will only phone if there is a probem) so hopefully will get 2nd lot this thursday, Kittenmad I too am in Scotland, just outside Glasgow, my unit seems to be quite spacious compared to yours, we were allowed someone to come with us for 1st chemo , but we have a waiting room on unit where they can stay while we are having our treatment, spoke with chemo nurses today and meds for sickness getting changed this time , so hopefully will not be sick for as long . I love green tea, but not too strong, think it is really soothing :).
Love and hugs to everyone xx
Well passed my blood tests and had FEC2, was sat next to this lovely lady who was on her last treatment, made the whole experience more pleasant. Just waiting for the SE to arrive.
Not much more to report on the liver other than the fact that the treatment is the same and they will monitor it towards the end.
Happy Birthday Harryduck, sorry you had a rotten day, hopefully you can make up for it retrospectively. My birthday is next week when I prob wonât have any taste so my husband is planning to take me out for a curry!!
Glad the back is improving Squeakymouse.
Hope the hospital visit tomorrow goes well Rattles.
Loving all the new photos, will have to try and take one when mine has finally gone!
Best wishes and minimal SE to everyone
X
Hello buddies,
Sun out here in London. It is a bit like me, comes in fits and starts. Im willing it on, you can do it!
I try to drink green tea, but not that keenâŠWhat about mint tea? I had some wonderful mint tea while out which just seemed to be mint leaves, boiling water and sugar. But cant recreate it myself.
Em - your day out sounded wonderful. Dont really know Cheltenham very well. So, we have buddies in Scotland, Portsmouth, Cheltenham, London???
Claire dont blame you for not asking for neulasta- my bones hurt so much afterwards. But sure this is why my neuts are okay. Em - sounds like you have to inject every day? How long for?
Doggirl, I should think after everything you deserve to park in the disabled space- if you want to. Polarbear glad you were good to go for FEC2. I hope you are doing okay and thinking of you. Hope your bloods are good ginger.
I had to go up to the hospital this morning. I have not been showing my drains much respect, put it on work-top to make tea and it fell off, went âffffffffffffffffffffffâ and de-vacced. So 40 quid and a taxi later, my drains are back in. We go back to same hospital this afternoon. Doggirl - why dont we get a thing going where we could see how many times we can go to hospital in one day? On second thoughts maybe take that back quick. I didnt mean it.
Humour aside, I am feeling better, but in the night kept waking up crying and was dreaming about my breast. I have not told anyone how I feel, because they are so worried, so sorry for dumping this on you. I canât believe how upset I am. I was fine about it going into the decision-making and the operation. I have been trying to work out why. Doggirl- like you I felt my breast was ugly after it had the WLE, but I did get used to the ânew me.â At 2am, I realised that I traded a perfectly healthy breast for no breast at all. It did not have cancer (that was the other one grrâŠ). I did it so I didnt get cancer, but hey, I got cancer anyway. Sometimes I feel like everything is out of control and yet I just carry on as normal.
I am holding on to the buddies who say that they have got used to their ânew themâ - make it happen soon.
The sun is really trying to come out. Fingers crossed.
Rattles,xx
PolarBear - hope you are still feeling ok after FECing yesterday. Just had a cup of green tea - bluuuuuurrhhhh - yuk! but its good for me, right? Another lovely day in Chelters but am stuck at home as OH taken car to work. HarryDuck hope you are feeling less grumpy now. Interesting to read about everyones chemo units - the Cheltenham one is pretty grim - not much room and looks like an old peoples home with the chairs all round the outside - my MIL has decided to get on the case and see if theycan do anything about making it more cheery and modern - she is a charity fundraising type and just loves a cause she can get her teeth into - good luck to her - haha!! Ginger and Squeakymouse - good luck with your juicings on Thursday. Kittenmad - hope you manage to find someone to shave your hair - iâd have come and done it for you if you werenât so far away up in Scotland - I quite fancy myself as a hairdresser - rather enjoyed doing my own and might have developed a taste for it - watch out kids, here comes mum with the scissors!!! Hope you all can enjoy the sunshine today, bye for now buddies, Em XXX
Awww Rattles. Your feelings sound completely normal. Of course youâre going to be gutted. The bottom line is that itâs simply not fair. I know now that I never appreciated my boobs before. Always moaned that they were too small. But in hindsight they were small but perfectly formed. Plus they worked! I breastfed for a year. Now a even a v neck t shirt is a no no. Youâve been through the mill with your ops and actually there was very little choice in the end was there. Mourning is all part and parcel. Sure your will get there in the end but itâs a journey isnât it. My breast care nurse says that this time next year⊠Blah blah. Iâm sure crying for your booh is somewhat cathartic. Esp if youve been bottling it up. On a lighter note: dreaming about boobs is what most men I know do. A lot
Donât worry about offloading thatâs what this forum is for. Xxx
(maybe a Post on surgery boars will get you some specific mx support? Maybe someone further down the line could help)
Xxx
Hello all.
lots of love to those suffering. I seem to spend most of my time crying at the moment. I hold it together all day then as soon as oh comes in at all just comes out. Poor bloke bet he thinks im a nutter. I feel so yukky and have had more pain this time from tax. On the upside i slept some of last night and feel as though i could nap this afternoon so fingers crossed. Mum is fighting weeds in the garden and our little mascot is snoozing in pram. Its a big day for her today as she is moving into her own bedroom. The routine starts here⊠I have never looked after a baby without a routine by this age and it is starting to drive me mad. Tonight will be bath 6.15 bottle bed in the dark. Wish me luck ladies as OH is at parents evening thing with eldest daughter and im flighing solo. Going to do a lap of the garden now will do proper post later xxx
Rattles - so sorry your post crossed with mine - hate it when that happens. Sorry you are feeling down about your mx - your feelings are perfecty normal - we all have so many changes to get used to and everything feels so out of our control. Everything seems to happen so fast as well - i cant believe that it was only in early April that my life was just chugging along as normal and them wham - youâve got cancer!! Iâm still not sure if its actually sunk in properly yet. i think we are entitled to be upset, angry, disraught and bewildered with what we have had to face and are still facing. At least we are not alone and have each other to listen and understand and care, Em XXX
Hello Buds, and so sorry to hear of all the trials you have been having. Rattles, thoughts and hugs are with you. Emylou-went to Food and Drink Festival in Chelt on Saturday in the rain with daughter. It was good but of course as I was only on day4 post FEC 3 totally overdid it and have been flaked out since then. Really like Cheltenham and all there is to do there. we live in tiny village deep in Oxfordshire countryside which is lovely and today is sunny and I have had a lazy catch up on rest day to recover from weekend.
Thinking of you all and really enjoy reading posts but wish you all well for the next onslaught. It seems to come round fast in some ways but slow in others when the SEs are bad. Sometimes if I think of it too much I cannot bear the thought of all the needles left to go into my body-I do not have a PICC line and so far veins holding up well but moments of panic hit me (usually in the night as sleep is not good) and I find that quite fightening.
PS If you have not yet bought Pixies Happy Bags they are great and she has made her target in 2 weeks!
Love to all XXX