Just popping in from last year’s May thread to see how you’re all doing - and to say “hang on in there” - there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Mhyrr works for ulcers if you can get it from a herbalist! Mouth problems were one of the big surprises for me… and horrible… You are approaching that half way mark when it feels like you’ve been feeling rubbish forever and the end is a long way off… (well, that’s how I felt anyway)… the end somehow comes faster than you think it will… Be gentle with yourselves ladies… you are a great bunch
Jane
Hi all
Jane - many thanks for popping in and cheering us on, always good to hear from someone who’s come out the other side of the chemo tunnel! Lovely dog on your profile pic too!
Squeaky - well done for winning the fight with the hospital, and sorry you’ve had to go through it. Fingers crossed for Thursday.
Rattles - hope you’re feeling less tired, and well done for making it through on Monday. Can’t have been easy.
Hope everyone else is doing ok, and that those who haven’t posted for a while aren’t suffering.
I’ve been trying to make the most of this week as I’ve been feeling good, despite the rain! Went for lunch at a restaurant run by Simon Rogan (from the Great British Menu) for a friend’s birthday, which was lovely. Had to pass on the lightly poached pheasant’s egg though!!
love to all, Alix xx
Hi everyone. Thank you all so much for your kind words. My crisis is over. Surprising what sharing, and 24 hours, can do to a person. Felt better yesterday and back to myself today. I came through and knowing I did it this time, I know I can do it again (if I have to), and I know have new friends to help me. My family and friends are wonderful, but at times like these you really do need people that have felt it to talk you through. I’m enjoying a day with my grandson today. Will continue to visit. Thank you again. X
Lightly poached pheasant’s egg…uugh- I think I need a bowl… Good though to hear that a few of the buddies are up and about and having fun- wouldnt it have been a sad thread if we were all ill at the same time.
Feeling poorly still. Couple of flickers of energy but papped, pooped and feeling piddled.
Rattles, x
Hi everyone and not posted for a bit. Not feeling too good at present-had 4th FEc on 4th July and it has knocked me out-feel so tired but thinking back I have felt tired after 2nd,3rd this one. I just tend to forget when i start to feel better that the first 5 days were not good. I don’t get sick anymore thanks to the wonderful Emend but the indigestion, hiccups and heartburn are awful for the first 5-6 days. Then it goes and its a good 10days or so. In fact in the week before FEC4 I did two 5 mile walks with daughter trying to do under 1 hour 15 mins and we did it on the second one. So we were really pleased with ourselves especially as it was very hilly in parts. I have read all the posts with great interest- it so so helps to hear how we are all doing and we are not alone and can get so much support from each other.
I shall be waving my family off to Lanzarote on August 2nd -there were meant to be 10 of us going to celbrate my husbands 60th birthday- so Emylou I can appreciate how you felt some time ago. I am obviously not going as will be mid cycle between 5 and 6 so have dog and chickens to keep me company and very good friend who will come and stay for part of the time. however, if all goes according to plan!! then I am going on a short 6 night cruise round Britain at the end of chemo at the end of August. Keeping fingers grossed for that. There has to be something to look forward to before DXT!!.
Much love to all and welcome all new comers.
sarah
Rattles and Amberose,sorry to hear you both are feeling poorly,hope it soon passes,Rattles i too say eww to lightly poached pheasants eggs, yuck, dont know if i could eat them even without chemo,Annie,i was also told about the red meat/seafood/dairy stuff etc, but to be honest its just a case of eating what you can, i feel hungry all the time, i find pineapple helps with the metal taste, and i’ve found i eat a lot of fruit apples/oranges/pears etc, and CHOCOLATE,omg, cant get enough of the stuff,comfort food lol 
,i’m now halfway through my FEC x 6, so there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel,hope everyone else is feeling ok,and the SE’s are not too bad, love to all xx Toni xx 
Well a quiet day for the darling buddies - I have just surfaced. Managed to put some washing out- not sure why!
Everyone watching Andy- I cant bear the suspense of it!
I had terrible flushes/sweats this time. Oh my goodness (hence washing!) Managing to drink a bit more than usual. Am I really gonna manage to do this three times more?!
Ambarose- sorry you are having to wave your family off. Good to have a trip to look forward to at the end of this quest. Fabulous idea - I will have to look for somehwere to go too.
Rattles, xx
Think I’ll pass on the pheasant’s egg too! Still feeling rather yucky from Friday’s third FEC - and even the thought of being HALFWAY THROUGH is not doing it for me! Have to struggle up to hospital tmrw as well for halfway appt with consultant - bad timing I think. I have been so tired this time and have an aching chemo arm - just the forearm though. I have been putting my wonder drug (TIger balm) with little effect. Will be so glad to get off the steroids tmrw. I have been eating quite a bit today - but sort of grazing - and only savoury things as I seem to have lost my taste for chocolate 
which is a first! Even keep nodding off during the tennis as well.
Take care everyone and hope you are feeling a bit brighter than me!
xx
Hello Rattles, Anmbarose and Kittan-mad,
Haven’t posted since last week. Rattles, I’ve really felt reclusive of late, friends want to call which is lovely but I don’t feel up to it, only the oldest friends who I feel I don’t have to make any effort with. Got a bit wound up last night in bed and texted lots of friends as I felt I was being neglectful and the “letting people down again came over me”. I’ve spread my steroids over more days this time to see if it helps, haven’t had the sore feet and much less tingly fingers but my head just seems all over the place.
Ambarose, I think a five mile walk is terrific, I’m going to try and build up my health now, it has got so bad I get tired so quickly. I do feel for you you waving off your family. I like the idea of a cruise myself after my chemo has finished. Mine doesn’t end until September but perhaps a trip to the Canaries. I’ve got secondaries so don’t know what will happen after Taxol, will I be OK, will it work, will they get me into remission. If they do, ohhhh to travel.
Kitten-mad, lovely to hear from you. This treatment I’ve decided to space my steroids, instead of four for the first three days, I’m doing 3, then 2 then 1. I’m finding that although I still get the SE they are ok and I can carry on, instead of having a crash on day 4.
Much love to all the May buddies, Harryduck, how is our mascot doing?
Just heard Murray didn’t quite manage it this time, surely next year.
Much love Claire x
Evening Buddies, just back from a fab weekend away. We left on Friday evening in the pouring rain wondering what on earth we were doing!!! However, once we met up with our friends and their children at the caravan site (near saunton sands in N Devon) we had a lovely time. Managed to spend the afternoon on the beach on Saturday in the sun!! Had BBQ sat nite and drank too much and had a real laugh with my friends- such a tonic. It reminded me that life can still be great (even mid treatment) and will be good again after all this is over. So for all of you feeling rough, poorly, down (like me 10 days ago) hold on to the fact that it will pass and the good times will be back. Ambarose - I do feel for you missing out on such a special holiday and that is why it’s soooo important to have things to look forward to. Hope all the other quiet Buddies are ok and are too busy having a good time to post!! Much love Em Xxx
Hi all. Not posted for a while as o managed to lose the last one I typed
It was epic! And don’t know what I did but just could not be bothered again. Truth be known I was in a strop!
I an about half way between FEC 3 and FEC 4. Everyone is going half way!!! I’m going " same amount to go again". Not my usual half glass full mentality but there you go. I think that is common from the bunnies thread. I feel that after number 4 I’ll have broken the back of it? I hope.
This is my usual neutrapenic/infection weekend and I have managed not to go to the hospital. Woo hoo. Get me showing off. I did get another skin infection but my lovely clever handsome oncologist (swoon) gave me antibiotic “just in case”. My temp got to 37.7 yesterday. Bt all good today:-)
Nothing too exciting going on in my life at the moment. Work has gone a bit mental. We have dogs boarding with us at the moment and it’s all a bit hectic. The rain is not helping.
I’m a bit sad for your holiday Ambarose. Your walking is amazing. That’s a good pace. My walking pace has slowed down A LOT. Food job I do off lead walks lol. xx
Kitten mad. Tiger balm! Love that’s stuff. Used to love in the far east a million years ago. That’s was their ‘cure all’. Love the smell.
Hope you feel better soon rattles xx
Good to be reminded that the grey days pass- Em, I could almost visualise you having fun on the beech, the sand in my toes, the sound of the sea. Claire, something to look forward to, I fancy somewhere warm, not hot, not too far. I would like somewhere beautiful - I love the sea, but not the crowds. I dont know how we can manage it without taking my daughter out of school, but I do have a hankering for ‘convalescing’ like you read in old novels. I can understand why friends feel hard work, its hard when you put up a pretence isnt it? Wish there was something I could do, say, you are doing just great.
Doggirl, so glad you didnt succumb to infection. Must have been a real test to know that this was coming up. I agree, the half way mark is not the high you would expect. Luckily (pah, having been here before, I rememeber feeling this before except that last time, I just thought I was a failure as I was not feeling more positive whereas now I know the dips are all just part of the journey.
Ambarose, doggirl, walking sounds good to me. Nothing wrong with a slow walk. Its raining again here, so not really much incentive to get dressed but did manage to do a bit of house-work. Does that count as exercise?!!
Kitten-mad- lets hang on in there! Dont get too high on the tiger balm!
Rattles,x
Whilst I didn’t let it spoil my weekend away I had a bit of a disappointing result from my scan/mammo on Friday. Lump hasn’t shrunk at all after 3 FEC!! Consultant said it was disappointing but not to panic as I still had the Tax to go and that acts differently against cancer cells so fingers crossed. However BCN rang me this morning to see how I was feeling about it and said if I didn’t respond to TAX either then they may ditch the chemo and just opt for surgery instead!!! I wasn’t feeling too worried about it until she rang me and now I’m thinking (in that paranoid kind of way) that they must think it was really bad news or they wouldn’t be ringing me to see how I was coping!! I’m trying to imagine that my tumour is just a big lazy arse one that grows very slowly and that is why it is less chemo-sensitive (chemo works best against fast growing cells) and I’m also hoping that when they cut it out they will find that the active cancer has been killed off. They did both say that it was good my (lazy arse) tumour was strongly hormone positive as hormone therepy ought to work well for me but I cant start taking that until after surgery - arghhhh!!! Anyway I am trying to stay positive and also trying not think about all that vomiting I did for nothing!!! Em XXXX
Hi all
Em - sorry to hear about your scan results, hope the Tax shrinks your lazy arse lump. My cancer is strongly hormone receptor positive too, I had surgery before chemo and can’t start hormone therapy until the chemo is finished, so I think whichever way they treat you it’s a long wait for the Tamoxifen. Glad you had a great weekend, sounds fab.
Doggirl - sorry you’re a bit down, your posts are usually so upbeat, hope the sun comes out for you. What with your medical expertise, you and your lovely onc sound like a good pairing!
Rattles - housework definitely counts as exercise! I put the hoover round the other day (not something I do as often as I should to be honest!) and I had to have a long sit down afterwards with a cup of tea to recover. Going through this for the second time must be tough, and I think you’re doing brilliantly.
Claire - a trip to the Canaries sounds fab, it definitely makes me want to plan a treat for when this is all over.
Ambarose - I’m so imprressed by your walking. I’m trying to get out on my bad days, as a bit of exercise is supposed to help combat fatigue, but sometimes it’s a slow totter round the block.
Kittenmad - hope getting to your appt today was ok - travelling is hard when you’re feeling yuk.
Sorry to anyone I’ve forgotten.
I had a hypnotherapy appt this morning, and as I drove in a woman was coming out of the cancer centre with her bald head proudly displayed. She looked great. I am off to the ‘medical illustration dept’ at the hospital this afternoon to have pictures taken of my boob reconstruction. I had to laugh when I read the covering letter, which says ‘please ensure that long hair is tied back off the face’!! Some hope…
Have blood tests tomorrow as FEC3 due on Weds, am hoping I don’t have a delay as I feel like I’m already bringing up the rear.
much love, Alix xx
Hi everyone
Em - so sorry to hear about your scan results, I think the Tax works in a different way to FEC so hopefully it will give your lazy arse lump a kicking. Its a pity they don’t test people’s biopsy cells on the range of different chemo drugs to find out which ones work the best so that they only subject us to the ones that work the best. At least you had a nice weekend - I thought of you when I saw all the flood warnings and hoped you were OK - good that you managed a barbecue! We went to North Devon the weekend I was shedding my hair big time so apologies if my hairs were still blowing around there.
It seems lots of us are feeling a bit down at the halfway mark, and thinking especially of Rattles who has already had one round of chemo and still recovering from surgery. I have been very tired the last few days, just wanting to sleep during the day and everything being a huge effort, and was not sure why as its day 17 since FEC 3 so past the low bloods bit in the middle. I asked my onc about this and he said sometimes the chemo effects can be cumulative, so perhaps some of us are experiencing this too. So its doubly impressive that Ambarose and Doggirl are managing to do walks!
I got my PICC line today - I was wondering how they were going to get it into veins that are already wrecked but it went fine. I am now working out how to connect it to our expresso maker (I’m an engineer so will come up with something)!
Squeakymouse xx
I am having an ‘in bed’ day so glad to be able to see your posts. Aaahhhhhhhh!
Squeaky mouse , you are a woman of hidden talents!! can you hook my picc line up to a latte maker? Something about milky drinks, icecream and mashed potato! Also, your brilliant mind is on track- my surgeon wanted me to have a test to see if my tumour would respond to chemo. Apparently it is in the early stages of development though and not suitable for all types of cancer! So, you see, how clever you are!
Em - so sorry about your scan results. Must feel soul-destroying but you gotta keep believing (Are you old enough to remember the Asia song?)Try not to see it as a failure, it just means you have a different type of tumour, thank god there is hormone treatment. Easy for me to say. My (first) tumour was fast-growing and did respond to chemo which is just as well as it would not have responded to hormone treatment (triple negative). I remember being really down when I found out I could not have hormone treatment and it took me ages to see that it is a positive that they know what makes individual cancers grow. Not that long ago, I would have simply be given it anyway, even though it would have made no difference…
AlixJ- hope your topless photo shoot went okay! I kind of wish I had asked for my pictures now, it was though, a very surreal experience. So funny about the hair.
As everyone seems on a low. Time for me to 'fess up to my story. Been debating about sharing it so it better raise a smile…(at least)
Dont wear a scarf or wig at home. My skin has been terrible, so after a bath the other morning, I covered myself in so much shea butter that I could not get dressed. Instead put my big, baggy t-shirt, socks and slippers on.
We have a balcony which overlooks a quiet side-street… You guessed, I decided to potter about my plants. Look down and see two cyclists, who chose that very precise moment to look up. What did they see? A bald woman in a baggy t-shirt and slippers. They nearly crashed into each other!!!
Now, we need someone else to follow.
Big hugs, Rattles, xx
Rattles - love your story, I am having similar fun freaking out door to door salesman and people at the door trying to convert me to their religion!
Squeakymouse xx
I’ve got to post just to stop myself eating!! Really! Have followed tea with some chocs, then a packet of salt and vinegar, shortly followed by strawberries and cream. Ah. Cannot think why I seem to live in elasticated waists. By the time I get to the rads bit of my journey they’ll be rolling me into the hospital!
My son has been away for a long weekend with friends and their boys. He has had an amazing time. Clay thing made, horse riding, bmxing, Swimming daily. Much better holiday than we give him lol. Plus he had today off school so that’s a bonus in his eyes. Our school is very good about holidays during school time. Rattles your little One is quite young isn’t she? Perhaps you could have a term time break? You certainly deserve it.
I was interested to hear your first BC was triple negative. I have TNBC. I do worry about it coming back. Although I will be pleased to finish treatment I do feel that targeted therapies must feel belt and braces.
Still not much that I can do!
Good attitude Emylou, don’t panic. It’s not over yet!! Tax can still do It’s thing x
Alix: hope your hair was well
And truly out the way! That made me laugh. And the imaging of myself and my onc playing doctors and nurses made me grin. Well we do belong together 
I hope you get your FEC 3 x
Squeakymouse. I’m glad your Picc line is in. Your veins must be giving a huge sigh of relief. Am deciding what to hook mine up to…
Am only walking because it’s how I make my money! Would probably be even fatter than I currently. I am actually glad that I HAVE to go out. Would be very easy not to. Could barely be bothered to do tea to night. It was mainly because I was catching up on the April thread! Went for beans on toast lol. So nigella watch yer back.
Am off the lather myself in bio oil and flash my bits to passing cyclist a la Rattles!! You foxy minx!
Hi Ladies
Hope you dont mind me popping into your thread, i’m Pixie from the April 2012 thread… all of us now 2/3 of the way through chemo so the culmulative se’s are hitting us big time especially as the tax truck has now moved in for many of us… 
However, reason I am barging in here is i am a woman on a mission. In early June I decided to see if i could raise some funds for Cancer Research and started making and selling Happy Bags. Have had a fantastic response thus far, and already ladies on this thread have been buying happy bags and help me to have raised £1700 in a month. They are gorgeous, everybody who has bought them is delighted and at £2 each affordable. So hoping I can tempt a few more of you to buy one or five!
If you would like the link for them, either look at my profile - it is on there or pm me a message.
Am not usually a sales-person, but this is something i feel so passionate about and want to raise as much awareness and money as i can so we are among the last generation dealing with this horrific disease.
Much Love
Pixie xxx
Hi everyone , Rattles love your story , have been caught out a couple of times when people come to the door , my poor window cleaner didn’t know where to look , had bloods done today so fingers crossed that I will get chemo on Thursday , last FEC , can’t believe I actually want them to put more poison into my body !! Hope everyone is starting to recover from the SE’s , seem to be lagging behind everyone , always was a bit slow , have just ordered some of the Happy Bags , thought they would be nice to give to family and friends who have been taking me to all my appointments .
Love and hugs to everyone xx