I was so scared when I was told I needed to have a CT and bone scan and I dreaded the worst but I just told myself as long as they come back clear, I can cope with the chemotherapy. When I got the results last week they were absolutely clear and I was elated. Everyone was very happy for me but one ill-informed friend said, “now the battle is won”. But it’s not is it? Sometimes I just feel really low and anxious about the future when all the treatment is over. What then? What if it comes back? I’m sorry to burden you all with this, but sometimes I can’t keep up the ‘positivity’ and I become overwhelmed with it all. I guess I’m hoping I’m not alone in this…
Curleyglad, …“you ain’t on your own girlfriend!”
We are all here for you and quite often in a similar boat (can’t say the same, as I’ve come to realise we are all different (even though to non-BC peeps it’s all the same!)!!). The good thing is it always helps to touch base by coming here and always manages to help you put things into perspective!
Sending you big hugs!
Axx
Hi ladies x
Curlyglad, I understand where you are coming from, so difficult to explain to anyone who is not going through the same thing. Always wondering what is about to happen next and if you are ever going to be the ‘normal’ person which we were beforehand. x
Am still feeling sick but not quite as bad. Head is a bit mushy! Have five days of white cell boosting injections this week.
xoxo
Hi All,
What a waste of time that was, I have just had to drive 45 minutes each way to go to a pre-assesment to have my portacath fitted. The pre-assesment was a 5 minute chat with the surgeon who told my everything I already knew!! I feel like I have spent the last few weeks driving backwards and forwards to Guildford, arrghh!! (Sorry rant over.)
Curlyglad, I know it is hard but you have to concentrate on the treatment first and try not to worry about things that haven’t happened yet. A bit like before we were diagnosed, we did not worry about if we were going to get breast cancer. This experience will definately change the way I live my life in future but I am determined that the change will be for the better.
I hope you are feeling a bit better this afternoon.
Kate xx
Hi Girls
I’m having my porthcath fitted friday under local. Anyone know whether yo have to take your gel nail varnish off? I can’t believe I spent all that money on my nails for my 1st Chemo if I have to have the varnish taken off!!! LOL
Food cravings not getting better - just ate a big roast dinner followed by chocolate pudding with chocolate fondue filling and custard!! Yum!!
Ginge xx
Evening Ladies…
Welcome hollyjake, younginherts, and Lynmark, sorry you all find yourselves here, but i’m sure you will find it a great support…
Curly, so pleased your scans came back clear, but you are right the battle is far from over, your certainly not alone in the way you think sometimes, I too struggle to be positive all of the time, I think its totally normal under the circumstances…
Ginge, glad you are ok, I cant help you on the nail varnish front i’m afraid…
Kate, What a pain, and as you say a waste of time, when is it you are having it fitted?..
Well, I had my induction, and it did take nearly 3 hours!! had an ECG and long talk…
I am having the picc line fitted in the morning (I hope)I am so nervous about it! they are giving me sedation first, and if I get through that I will be starting chemo on Tuesday!!!..
Cant see me getting much sleep tonight!..
Enjoy the rest of your evening girls…
Jay X
Hi Ladies,
Welcome to our new ladies - sorry you have to join us too!
Jay - I’m glad you’ve got today out of the way and wish you all the best for tomorrow. I was thinking about you today. I’m sure that they will look after you xx
Kate - I know what you mean about your life changing for the better - I’m just not sure what’s going to happen down the line. But as you said, that’s another battle for a later day!
Ginge - I’m not sure either about nail varnish - no one’s mentioned it to me yet - maybe they will on Thursday?
Axx
Evening Ladies
Hope you’re all doing ok and good luck to everyone starting this week.
I’ve not been on here for a while, had a string of disasters.
I was due to start FEC last Thursday but woke up to find the wind had brought the garden fence down in quite a dangerous way so I had to postpone treatment so I could sort it out. The fence had been up for more than twenty years. Timing!
Went in today for my new appointment to have Picc line fitted and after quite a long time of trying to find a vein big enough they gave up. Apparently the only thin part of me is my veins!
So that’s 3 times I’ve had to postpone now, don’t know when my new appointment is yet. I’m beginning to think that it’s not meant to be!
Sorry, end of moan. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself!
Night All
Nicola X
Morning Ladies…
Nicola, It sounds to me like you have every right to be feeling sorry to yourself, you poor thing, I had been wondering why you hadnt posted lately, i’m really sorry this has happened, are they going to try again with the picc line? I’m thinking about you, and post and moan as much as you want, we are all here to support you…
Annie, thank you, I am so nervous, I cant tell you, I just hope they give me enough sedation to keep me on the bed!!..
I’m glad its an early appointment!..
Hope everyone is ok…
Jay X
Morning everyone and thanks for all your support during my few wobbly days. I don’t doubt I’ll need you all again somewhere along the line.
Jay - you and I are starting chemotherapy on the same day - next Tuesday. I haven’t asked many questions about what’ll happen because I’m not someone who needs to know it all and it wouldn’t help me. I know other people feel differently and for them it’s helpful to know exactly everything. I think if it’s important they’ll tell me.
Good luck with your first treatment and let’s compare notes!
Kate - a big thank you for making me see sense. You’re right it’s one thing at a time. We’ve enough to cope with as it is without racing ahead. Also like you I love walking and I wanted to ask you, did you walk 3.5 miles after chemotherapy??? I would really love to be able to still get out walking ‘them thar hills’ at some point during treatment cos I know it’ll keep me sane.
Rainbow - We can’t disappear altogether can we? Maybe our new ‘normal’ will be even better than our old one!
Annie - Thanks for the hugs, really lovely.
Curly (or soon to be NOT curly) xxx
Morning all,
Welcome again to everyone who has joined recently, we are becoming a rather large group now.
Ginge, I am having my portacath fitted on Friday and have read through everything the hospital have sent me and it doesn’t mention that you have to remove your nail varnish. I would leave it on but take some remover with you just in case, it would be a shame to have to remove it after paying to have them done.
Curly, you are welcome! Yes, I started chemo on the 31st August and within a week I felt back to normal (I am having FEC-T). I went for an hours walk on Saturday to see how I felt and was fine so managed the 3.5 miles the next day.
Nicola, I hope things get better for you. Maybe they should fit a porthacath instead, have they mentioned this to you?
Jay, hope everything went well today.
Kate xx
Hi Girls
Jay, I hope you’re all fitted with the Picc and had no traumas! They’re not going to try me again. The poor woman was there for hours (well, it felt like it) trying to find a vein and came to the conclusion that they’re just too thin to be any good for that method.
I’d like to try a Portacath, Kate, but I’m not sure if Brighton do them. I’m waiting to hear from them with a suggestion of how to proceed.
For weeks I’ve had loads of medical people telling me the advantages of Picc over cannula, so I really don’t want to have one of those now.
Very sunny here, hope everyone’s having a good day.
Nicola X
September is a popular month , welcome everyone who has recently joined, sorry you have to be here but glad to have you with us.
Jay was thinking about you yesterday and I hope today went o.k.
I have done two days work this week and am feeling good.
gums are a bit sore and the taste in my mouth remains but it is either getting better or I am getting used to it. Still can’t fancy chocolate though.
Re nail varnish my chemo team said to use nail varnish if you wanted as sometimes it can help harden the nail. So I have gone the whole hog anf had gels on my hands and toes.
Energy levels quite good and am sleeping well at the moment.
The diffram mouthwash helps althoughit is mildly numbing so it feels like you have just left the dentist (so am watching for dribbling)
Nice day here in the peak district.
Fi XX
Well hello everyone! I am back from two weeks in Kos and start herceptin on Thursday and chemo Friday!!
Welcome back
Just look at the length of the thread you started.
Did you have a good time?
Just noticed the clock on the site is an hour wrong.
Hi Girls
Can I please be part of the Groovy Gang?! lol
I was diagnosed on 23rd June, the following week they said that it was high grade DCIS.
I then had a mastectomy and recon on the 20th Aug. They used fat from my rather large tum!
Anyway I now have a boob of a 20year old and one of a 43 year old AND a very flat tum (every cloud!)
Unfortunately they found a tiny bit of invasive as well, grade 3 but nodes clear.
I met with my oncologist yesterday , she was lovely and was so positive that I would be cured and go on to have a normal life. She listened to my story while I sobbed and asked me how I told my hair about loss of hair and she actually had tears in her eyes!
And at the end of the appointment we had a lovely hug, now that is my kind of doctor!
She would like me to have chemo and I am scared but that fades when people say that it is doable.
Like others it is my descision but I’m going to do it.
I have debated about the cold hat but I always dye my roots which you can’t do so not sure I want to end up with grey wispy srands!
Also have heard that success rates arent great.
I still can’t believe that this has happened and have had so many sleepless nights,awful thoughts and tears.
BUT although I know that everyones cancer is unique, I will say that my onc made me feel that it is very curable .
She gave me my life back.
I start chemo (hate that word) week beginning the 26th . Luckily I don’t have a needle phobia . It’s more the se that bother me but again I’m sure everyone is different.
Best of luck to you all.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ha ha meant how I told my son not my hair though maybe I should warn my hair as well!
Hi Sozza123,
Welcome!! (as with everyone, sorry you have had to join)
I started my chemo 2 weeks ago and so far it has been very doable especially if you have an Onc as lovely as yours sounds. Mine is very nice too.
I used the cold cap and (touch wood) have not started to lose my head hair yet, although I have noticed today that I have started to lose hair elsewhere on my body! I don’t think your hair really grows whilst having chemo so you would not have to worry about roots. I will keep everyone updated with my hair loss so you can decide if you want to try it based my experience. I did not find it uncomforatble to wear at all so I thought I might as well give it a go.
Kate xx
BBK,
My hair did continue to grow. Have shocking grey roots for a 33-year old!! However, I just wear little scarves to cover it up. Have worn the cold cap for 7 sessions so far. My hair has thinned alot, but I’m still so pleased that I did it.
Good luck with yours.
X
Hi girls…
Well I did it, I cant believe it, I really didnt think I was going to be able to, I was a total wreck, even with the sedation, it wasnt easy but I managed to go through with it…
Thank you for all your good wishes…
I have decided agianst using the cold cap…
I start on Tuesday the 20th, in the afternoon…
I actually went and brought a few things today, A themometer, a soft toothbrush, a hat and a scarf, not much but its a start…
Curly, we will definately compare notes, good luck with yours too…
Welcome back SGL, how was Kos??..
Welcome to you Sozza, your doctor sounds lovely…
Hope everyone is ok…
Jay X