<looks through=“” telescope=“” at=“” bench=“”></looks>
Sorry, looks like all those soft, laced-edged hankies have been snaffled by other people… will have to go and find some more…
Hope you get unglued soon…
Maybe Katytc can lend you a chisel—that’ll do the trick at scraping off the superglue xxx
Truddles, nice idea but knowing my aim I’d probably manage to escape the guilty bench but would leave most of my left buttock still stuck to the bench. Not a pretty thought (but it would result in a bit of weight loss…) Think I’ll pass.
Chocciemuffin, a basin of hot soapy water is on it’s way to you for the superglue. If that doesn’t work we will have to cut you from the guilty bench,(you may be left with splinters so bandages and special cream at the ready) I’m sure I have seen a new super duper chainsaw somewhere perhaps it’s in the shed…xx
In the true spirit of the guilty bench, the cream has got to sting A LOT, the splinters be like planks and the bandages made of sack cloth sprinkled with chilli powder. I would appreciate it if you could be VERY careful with the chainsaw, I’m rather attached to my legs and would quite like to stay attached to both of them, if it’s all the same to you.
Please make way on the bench for an incoming (large) bottom. Feel irrationally angry with hubby because he’s got man flu & I’m just finding his huffing puffing and sighing REALLY ANNOYING! I’d swap a mutilated chest with painful drain for a chesty cough and temperature any day!
Ok… Finished ranting now and just avoiding the phone and visitors now so will hide under the bench. Not enough spoons in the cutlery drawer at the moment to reassure well meaning callers that I’m ok and wish to discuss my surgery in detail before having them talk about it as though it’s a part of me that doesn’t matter…
Yes I’m a bit of a mess today…tomorrow will be better x
Twinky
ChoccieMuffin you have made my morning, I’m laughing so much that I am now making my way to the “posts that make me giggle” bench, cheered me up no end.
Ok forget the chainsaw, am not experienced enough to use one but an alligator saw, well, that’s a completely different matter!! I am truly skilled and am able to wield that saw like a professional therefore your legs will be safe.
Twinky, I think you are the first to hide under the benches, c’mon up top!! xx
OMG don’t tell me there are alligators wandering around! Twinky get up on the bench quick before the alligators get you!!!
Ok…standing up on the bench now if there are alligators around. Feel like I might cry lots today but from experience I know this is the post op blues caused by the anaesthetic ( I always get like this a few days after the op but I know it will pass…in the meantime shares in Kleenex might rise). When I get off the bench though I think I have to put my foot down and make me the one who gets the bed for a good nights sleep rather than hubby with his cold - surely the major surgery means I should have the marital bed and consign him to the sofa!
Twinky x
Jumps back up on the bench & does a victory dance - yes… I have the bed back!
Twinky x
I have never seen anyone move sooooooo quickly Twinky, at the moment there are 2 benches “teary” or “crazy sobbing lady”, I am more on the “teary” one at the moment,where there is a continuous supply of lacy hankies with thanks to RevCat, Chocciemuffin is sitting on the “crazy sobbing lady” bench and she has used up the whole supply of hankies!! So you may have to take your own supply, a word of warning it’s a very wet, soggy, snotty place to be. xx
I’m used to soggy & snotty as hubby has man flu. At least the bench inhabitants aren’t coughing like mad! Just stopping off to enjoy some fresh strawberries. Got a dry throat after a power nap but suspect there’s now a couple more spoons in the drawer 
Twinky x
Okee cokee (don’t know how to spell that) I have just been on a ‘build your own alligator trap’ course in my lunch break, so I’ve installed them here, here and here… Please don’t peer into them in case you fall in and get gobbled up. They are humane, the alligators can be released back into the lake when it is safe, but only by suitably trained people. You could throw them the odd alarm clock to eat (I know, that was a crocodile…) then you’ll hear them coming.
By the way, they don’t like boingy stuff (I have decided, this is my bit of make-believe) so you are safe so long as you stay on or near the benches/sofas etc.
Climbs on bench and inserts ear plugs for peace & quiet. Hubby coughing for England. Surprised he has any lung lining left! Why do men become such children when they’re ill? Determined to cling to the bed tonight. His turn for the sofa. Grrrrrrrrr (snappy like an aligator…don’t trap me Revcat)
Wonders if lack of personal hygiene care today due to drain pain made the bench too wiffy for other visitors today (no sign of anyone including alligators this afternoon & evening).
Still straddling my two benches, Twinky. Perhaps moved from the “crazy sobbing lady” bench to the “teary” bench, but liable to leap back there at any time. And like I said, me and the guilty bench are best of friends. I might explain why some time, just not quite now.
I think the lack of posts is more to do with the alligators. Who’d want to venture into benchland for fear of having one’s extremities chewed off? Oh, sorry, some of us already HAVE had our extremities munched off. Not sure our surgeons would be happy to be compared to alligators though…
Ohhh Chocciemuffin…here have a wiffy hug…x x x
Cheers, Twinks.
I’ve discovered one of the benefits of having a snotty nose is you can’t smell. Stinky hug gratefully received.
Hope your drain isn’t giving you too much gyp.
Twinky you have all my sympathy on the man flu - my own dear OH has refused to see our GP for four weeks during which he has been training for the Olympic coughing and snoring events.
We have the good luck to have a spare bed and I swear I picked a fight with him last week in the sure and certain knowledge that he would take to the spare room in a huff. Three nights of unbroken sleep - sheer bliss!
Have to admit it was nice when he came back - pillows at my back and electric blanket weren’t really a substitute for another body in the bed!
FEC 3 tomorrow earlier in the day than usual so can’t rely on sleep to shorten the misery of the nausea. Have managed to stay off all benches for a whole lovely week since chemo was postponed over low neutrophils. Hope RevCat has restocked those lovely hankies before my next visit. Leave some for me girls. Don’t want to be there alone but hope no-one else is still on “crazy sobbing lady” or “teary” when I get there.
I’ve just found a “what a great day” comfy chair that I would like to think ChoccieMuffin will be enjoying soon.
Sweet dreams, brave women.
Love,
Kathleen
Katy, I’ve just had a lovely phone chat with a BCC friend (yes, at silly o’clock, so feeling guilty at doing so) and she’s managed to extricate my not insignificant rear end from the “crazy sobbing lady” bench. Still hovering by the “teary” bench, but I’ve also managed to locate a bumper pack of supersoft tissues, and the bin men have been to take away the snotty ones, so it’s looking a lot better. Don’t quite think I’m up for a “what a great day” chair, but at least I can see it in the distance. As long as there aren’t too many alligators between here and there, I intend to get there.
Right then, I’m rounding up my cardboard boxes and newspapers to spread out on my bench, in the hope that I can visit the land of Nod.
Night all!
CM
x