Spoons are in, check the shed, the box and the various dispensers. Special offer on Claris Cliff and other speical designs for anyone needing a treat today.
Hankies are restocked, fine linen with lace edges yet, ultra absorbent with a hint of balm for sore noses. Also ulta balm tissues to absorb the snotty stuff if you prefer
Found one aligator in the trap near the crazy-sobbing-lady bench so released it back to the lake having fed it three large alarm clocks.
Also homemade bread and freshly brewed tea and coffee (oops, wrong thread, thatās a woodie thingā¦)
Oh yes, and brollies for those in wet parts of the UK
Katy/Kathleen, loving the new photo. Hope FEC flop is not too severe.
Thatās fantastic Chocciemuffin, I think it was all the snotty hugs from smelly Twinky that made the difference. Iām still hovering around the ātearyā bench, feet firmly on the boingy stuff. RevCat has replenished supplies so all set for another day. Have always been sentimental but totally going overboard nowā¦oh my I can see a ship coming over the horizon, whereās that telescopeā¦
PS Good luck Kathleen xx
Okā¦just telling myself off for being a coward about provoking further pain from Dennis the drain and jumping from the bench to go sort out the whiffs and chip frying capabilities of hair! Needs to be mind over matter. Have let myself become afraid of the painā¦silly me! Donāt want to end up with clots on the lungs through inactivity (been there, done that, got the badge & donāt want to go that againā¦lol). Soā¦quick march to the bathroomā¦see you later
Have come out to the bench for some fresh air. No sobbing today and just managed to wash my hair and shower all the bits that can get wet at the moment! No more whiffs, safe to freely give hugs again x x
Oh Bonnie Lassies. Some of you are needing a big hug and a few words of encouragement. First of all when you enter Benchland, ALL sniffling and runny noses disappear magically. Why? It is just that kind of place. I think you have been having bad dreams. Benchland is where your worries disappear and you regain your strength. Good company and getting away from it all is what it is all about. (well in my benchland it isā¦or am I the one dreaming?.
Havenāt been on for a few days. Needing to do stuff. Energy levels low but otherwise feeling good so will be baking goodies for us all this afternoon. Any requests? Love to all/ Val
Supertrouper, there is a list but you can have any bench/sofa you like in Benchland, whatever you need is there.
Twinky you smell lovely now, hope you are feeling fine.
Val, can I please have some pecan slices, had some last week and loved them.
Feeling a bit tired been doing some DIY, a bookcase took a loooooooooooooong time but have done it!!!Yipeeeee.
Away to have some quiet time, anyone else seen that ship or is it a mirage type thing, or am I hallucinating?? xx
ST, there are as many as you can think of. Commonly used ones lately are the guilty bench, crazy sobbing lady bench and teary bench, but many of them have been upgraded to comfy sofas. Thereās a f*****g furious bench (which is looking particularly attractive today, might stomp over there for a change (and god help any alligator that tries to get in my way!) partly because itās likely to be a bit more comfortable, and because I happen to be feeling pretty f*****g furious today. Long story, shanāt bore you with it, but it involves teenagers, which are almost guaranteed to get their mums in that state at some time or another!
Lovely smells in Benchland today! Anti-nausea meds are working so I can actually smell shampoo and home-baked cookies without fear.
Does anyone have a spare āsit there and donāt dare utter a wordā bench for ChoccieMuffinās teenagers? Iām afraid mine crumpled under the weight of five hefty boys a long time ago so a new one would be useful for all mothers of teenagers who find themselves here.
Big hug to you ChoccieMuffin - one of mine caused me endless grief twenty years ago when I was dealing with pneumonia and loss of earnings. Now heās 32 and a responsible human being. They do improve with time.
Kathleen, I misread that completely, and thought he was falling apart because heād lost his EARRINGS!!!
Sorry, thought Iād share the giggle I had.
No worries about the teen. Sheās being taken care of, as am I and the rest of the family. Just as well, Iāve had a few days where Iāve been incapable of taking care of anyone.
Iāve just found this thread after googling āfeeling guilty about breast cancerā! Is it open to all and please may I join and sit awhile on the guilty bench?!
I was diagnosed in Oct 2010 with IDC, had WLE + chemo + rads + Tamoxifen and last week had a reduction to my good side so Iām home recovering from that. So what do I feel guilty about???!
It was OBVIOUSLY my fault for getting cancer in the first place coz Iām overweight, donāt eat my 5 a day and probably drank a bit too much :/.
The impact of my diagnosis on my immediate & extended family was devastating. My Dad had a breakdown, my daughter was doing her A levels, ended up on medication & in counselling - all because of me.
At the same time as I was diagnosed someone at work was too. She had more extensive disease, Mx with immediate reconstruction, lengthier chemo etc, but managed to work through most of it (she is office based & lives 5 mins from work, I am a nurse, so was banned from direct patient contact but could have gone in to do office work but live 30mins away & was too exhausted to drive an hour each day on top of working).
She is very much - positive mental attitude, itās not a problem, all over with, move on & pretend it never happened. I am not :(. I was fine through all the treatment but I wear my heart on my sleeve, have found it VERY difficult to adjust to my new ānormalā. It HAS affected my life, itās SO not all over with & Iām bl**dy terrified of it coming back! So can someone please explain to me why I feel so damn guilty because Iām not coping as well as she āappearsā to be??
I have chosen to have a breast reduction. It was offered on the day I was diagnosed and I decided to get it done. Itās horribly busy at work (but always is) and although they have been very generous with sick pay, I have never felt so guilty about being off sick. One colleague, when I told her how long I would be off said, āoh, itās just one big holiday to you isnāt it?ā!, and my manager sent me a text this week asking how my ālittle opā went and was I on the road to a speedy recovery (ie: how soon are you going to be back?!!). I actually seriously considered asking my GP to let me back early!
As you can see from my lengthy (apologies!) confession - I am guilt ridden from head to my little toe so hope thereās room on that bench for my overweight behind??
Hi Mythos,
welcome to this bit of āsafe to rantā space. Your guilt story will ring many bells with lots of us, whatever our stories.
Anyway, over there -----> is a big lake in which you can cast your guilt. You will notice the signsā¦ āno fishingā and āno swimmingā. However, because people fall in, we have loads of life belts with long ropes for resucing one another.
Round all the benches and sofas we have installed multi-coloured boingy stuff (as per kddies playgrounds) so you donāt hurt yourself too much if you fall off.
There are alligator traps at various points, so please donāt fall in! And donāt feed the alligators, except alarm clocks so we can here them coming.
Lacy hankies, energy spoons, cakes, bakes, drinks are all in abundant supply, so help yourslef to what you need.
And feel free to install more benches, sofas, deckchairs or whateverā¦ for any emotion whatsoever.
Oh yes, and popping in and out of benchland as and when you need to is is abosultely fine. If you read back youāll discover weāve had some spiffing advnetuires a la Enid Blyton/J K Rowling as well as discovering all manner of new craft skills!! Feel free to indulge your U/PG-certificate fantasies here (other threads are available with higher certifications!)
Thank you Revcat - for the chuckle I had at your description of the playground!!
I think Iām going to have to be very careful of avoiding the alligator pits - any tips for keeping my balance would be gratefully received! I like the idea of the guilt lake - although I worry slightly about it overfilling if I throw all mine in there at the same time?!
Lacy hankies sound good right now and Iām intrigued by the energy spoons?? Iām not sure Iāll head for the cake stall unless they can be guaranteed calorie free though - would be like dredging the guilt lake for me!
Is there an angry bench? I could do with a good rant in regard to my work colleagues but donāt feel strong enough to say it to their faces :/.
Thanks for the support, I have a feeling Iām going to like this place!
All cakes etc here are calorie free, all drinks free of alcohol or caffiene or whatever, and everything is ultra yummy whilst totally free of allergens!
Mythos I think youāre looking for the fat b*****ds bench. Itās reinforced so youāll be fine.
And you can join me on the guilty bench. Iām a bit of a permanent fixture, having sat in the superglue that was left on it.
And the other bench you were looking for is the f*****g furious bench if the angry bench doesnāt do it for you. Careful, itās very close to the crazy sobbing lady bench and it can be easy to slip off the furious bench and turn into a crazy sobbing lady.
Oh you poor love (big hugs)ā¦now lady listen to me
if being overweight & drinking was the sole cause of breast cancer then people like Kylie Minogue & super fit Martins Navratilova wouldnāt have been diagnosed would they do stop fretting. The root cause is far more complex which is why thereās no miracle cure for all yet.
Although the news was the cause of the family upset, you are not responsible for how they donor donāt handle it and you need to leave them to seek their own help & ways of doing it. You have enough on your plate (Quick digression for personal story, my Mum made herself ill with worry as I approached my original MX & recon that I didnāt see her before my op & that was a big deal as I was newly single at the time & I only saw her 10 after the op had finished & by this time I didnāt want to see her because I couldnāt face trying to keep her spirits up as well as mine. Luckily my Dad was a rock and saw me a day or so after the op do they in effect swapped roles)
although itās called breast cancer there are many many different types which is why there are so many different chemo drugs to treat it. I expect the other lady might have had a different type to you plus even if you had the same treatment everyoneās body reacts differently ( another quick story - heard lady at work starting exactly the same chemo as me - nasty red epirubicin, and reassured her that the first dose is just like a slight hangover and that despite all the entire chemo treatment and change of drug regime I was never even sick during those six monthsā¦and yes youāve guessed it, got a text from her a couple of days later to say sheād started being sick) so everyone is different. Your work colleague was clearly fortunate to be able to work plus she lives so close it wasnāt such an effort so donāt beat yourself up over this
comments from your boss - people are good at putting their foot in it but the message was probably just a friendly enquiry into how you were doing rather than trying to belittle what you had gone through & get you back to work ASAP. Youāre in abut of a pickle at the moment which will make you over sensitive to things people say anyway & donāt forget youāve been through an awful lot
Soā¦deep breathā¦enjoy the beautiful fresh air out here on the bench and the wonderful silence. Cry until youāve cried enough & then a big blow on one of Revcatās freshly laundered lacy hankies (snot on the ground is a slipping hazard so says 'elf n safety) and relax. Youāre in good company here
Thanks Revcat, Iāve downloaded the spoon theory link to my Kindle do will have a look at that later.
Calorie free cakes? Alcohol free booze? Iām liking this & may have to have a slice of lemon drizzle with my mid-morning cuppa (please note the smile <<<<<, thatās quite an achievement so early in the day!)
Choccimuffin - hmmm, a fat b******ds bench?! Not sure Iām ready to go sit on that one just yet :/. Not that Iām not admitting Iām a lump of lard, but Iām trying hard to do something about it & sitting there would feel like admitting defeat & Iām not giving in yet!
Iāve heard that hot water & washing up liquid is good for superglue?? Have you been stuck there long? Iāll come join you for now but Iām hoping to fall off that bench at some point so might sit the opposite end if thatās ok?!
Twinky - thank you (another one??!!), you sound like my MacMillan counsellor!!
You are right ofcourse & have said what I needed to be reminded of! I am constantly surprised when people refer to āeverything youāve been throughā because itās just something I had to do and I have to remind myself of the journey sometimes. Iām incredibly sensitive to what others say, but thatās related to the guilt I feel for having put THEM (yes I know *rollseyes*) through so much to begin with!
Iāve just re-read thatā¦move over Chocciemuffin, my lardy ar*e needs more space on the guilty bench!! Iāll try not to miss the hanky with my snot - hope sheās got plenty of spares??
Are there any happy benches around? Iād like to spend a few minutes on the ābe thankfulā bench to balance out my negativity!
Psst ā¦Mythos15ā¦want to know a secretā¦even though thereās benches like the sobbing lady one etc theyāre all positive benches and whilst letting it out you can feel the positivity flowing so you donāt need to move although i should warn Choccie Muffin of an incoming bottom on the fat b*stards bench because Twiggy I aināt (rolls with laughter and tries to stop chins joining in)
(please note the smile <<<<<, thatās quite an achievement so early in the day!)