Stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND) (Part 1)

Twinky you are a star, just laughed out loud, will be giggling like a twit all day long now!! xx

Thanks Twiggy, that made me chuckle too!

I have some adjusting to do on the positivity front but with your help, Iā€™ll get there :).

I go toddle off to built some extra supports to the benches, looks like weā€™re gonna be needing some RSJā€™s under them now Iā€™ve joined the fat b******ds brigade!!

Thanks all, itā€™s lovely to know you are out there x

Hi everyone

I donā€™t post very often in here but Iā€™ve come looking for a ā€œwhy me?ā€ bench! 2 years ago tomorrow I lost my husband to cancer, who knew then that two years later I would be suffering with the dratted diseaseā€¦ donā€™t you just sometimes wonder what you did to deserve being in this place? hang on, I may just move over to the crazy sobbing lady bench for a bit while I just get that bit out of the way. OK, going to give those lacy hankies a bit of use now (blows nose). So, Iā€™m just going to sit here for a bit flitting between these two benches until after tomorrow when I can start the fight againā€¦

Weme

Looking back, thereā€™s definitely a whyme bench, and an Icandoit bench (which is strangely less populated than the guilty bench). Some time ago, we got sofas from DFS to sit on instead of benches, with the exception of the guilty bench, cause if you feel too comfortable, it will increase your guilt, and you canā€™t do that because there is always a queue for the guilty bench and if you stay too long, youā€™ll be depriving someone else of the right to feel guiltyā€¦

Norberte did a BRILLIANT map of Benchland, but I see sheā€™s deleted all her posts, which is very sadā€¦ so Iā€™m going to the soggy sofaā€¦

I notice thereā€™s a knitting sofa tooā€¦ but before I get there, Iā€™m going to the cream tea cornerā€¦ Jane

mythos and weme, we have Val who is always busy baking but one of our old favourites is scones, jam and lashings of cream, so come on over to the sofa and join in, yum yum slurpy slurp!
Jane, norbertesā€™ benches were just brilliant xx

Oh my oh myā€¦another sleepless night! What on earth is up with me? Tried a big hot choc and sleeping tablets, kicked hubby out, listened to some music & waited for sleep to comeā€¦and here I am on the raving insomniacs bench. Iā€™m normally the sort of person who sleeps like a log within minutes of hitting the pillow. I now seem quite happy to watch late night tv until between 4 & 5am. Iā€™m not even napping during the day! At this rate thereā€™ll be no cutlery left in the drawer and Iā€™ll end up with the man flu Iā€™ve been trying to avoid. Just feel weird like I want a picnic all night! Just want to nibble & watch anything weird on tv. Admittedly Iā€™m a curl up on my side person do maybe itā€™s the lack of a snuggle factor with my MX wound & drain making me sleep on my back bit to be honest I thought exhaustion would have taken over by now. Trouble is the more upset that I get about it the less sleepy I become!

Helpā€¦(she cries pathetically in a weak voice)

Twinky

Twinky here, catch, some hugs for you.

Awww Twinky, did you not find the post-op bench last night?, itā€™s sooo comfy, bit like sleeping on a cloud :).

I know exactly where youā€™re coming from, I nearly always sleep on my left side but have been unable to do so since my surgery last week. Initially it was the drain, now itā€™s just too bruised & sore. I can ā€˜justā€™ about manage lying on my right side but have to put a pillow between me & my left arm to take the pressure off that side!

I hate sleeping on my back but managed it last week with LOTS of pillows behind & around me and Tramadol, which knocks me out very nicely, thank you very much!!

I hope youā€™ve got some decent pain meds?? Use every pillow you can lay your hands on & make yourself comfy on the post-op bench ;-)!

Youā€™ll get there {{hug}} x

Morning CM & Mythos

Thanks for the hugs. Really frustrated about the sleep issue. I do have some proper sleeping tablets I once had prescribed by the doc (but never bothered to use) so maybe I should give those a try tonight. Just trying to drag myself up & into the shower as we have visitors today & need to clear up. Mustnā€™t go sitting on this comfy bench for too long! Typical now I need to be awake & do stuff feel like I could sleep for England!

Twinky

Ahā€¦ to be able to sleep on the leftā€¦ If youā€™ve had nodes removed (like me) the advice is NEVER to sleep on that sideā€¦ and I always went to sleep on the ā€œbad sideā€ā€¦ There must be a ā€œbeentoldIcantdoitsoIreallywantoā€ bench somewhere here!!! I have mild lymphodema, so I do try to be good, but every so often, I wake up on the ā€œwrongā€ side - or just have to lie on it for a few minutes to relax, then turn overā€¦ Twinky - Iā€™d take one of those bombs if I were you! move over a bitā€¦ need to get comfyā€¦ Jane

Thank you RevCat, back on the ā€œtearyā€ bench for me have just read your poemā€¦xx

Morning *yawn*

Twinky - hope youā€™ve had a better night on your sleep bombs??

GIJaneH - I had sentinel nodes removed (4 I think & all clear) and had to see the lymphoedema nurse at one point as they thought my right arm was swollen, but no one has ever told me not to sleep on that side?

I am now 10 days post op - physically ok, have one toe on the ā€˜b*gger that hurtsā€™ bench as the suture line around my areola feels like its having itā€™s very own fireworks party! But the bulk of my lardy a*se is sitting between the fat b*******ds bench and the ā€˜permission to panicā€™ bench :/.

I woke up at 3am having THE most vivid dream that I when I go back next Tuesday they are going to tell me they found DCIS on the pathology and I need a mastectomy :'-(. Needless to say, Iā€™ve been awake ever since & quietly having a meltdown!

Please tell me Iā€™m panicking unnecessarily?! (last mammo was Oct 2011 - all clear!)

Sometimes I hate my brain :P!!!

Hello All ā€˜Benchlandersā€™

Been reading all the comments, some have made me LOL n feel for others, can I sit on the ā€˜Moaningā€™ Bench for a moment or two and indulge myself please!
In last few years
Had a messy painful divorce after 27years, ex-husband tried to ā€œdestroyā€ me

Horse riding accident, broke pelvis in 4 places,hip, back and arm, 4 months in hospital, a year to walk again, pennyless at the time to and living in Spain

Sister gets Cervical Cancer, battles hard for 3 years dies aged 43, nursed her to the end

My beautiful eldest son dies aged 27 in an accident at work in Denmark due to negligence, He was in the Army did tours of duty in Kosova and Irak he was so brave, then is killed working on an Oil Rig,Unbelevable really. Two years later no closer to finding out why and what went wrong

A year later I am diagnosed with Breast Cancer in both Breasts 15 of 20 Lymph nodes affected, suspicious nodes in pelvis, had MX, 4 of 6 Chemo, next Rads. I live 350 miles away from family, just started new live in job 10 weeks before diagnosis, trapped need my work to live as am alone

Rant nearly over, feel I have had more than my fair share of struggles, Tired and know there is no why to life but my goodness it is a battleā€¦ I just had to share this with someone as it feels unfairā€¦Rant over, can I just rest a while now.

Oh gooseberrygirl, Oh how you have had so much to deal with. Unbelievably sad. But you are now surrounded by friends who wil support you through this new stuff. Welcome to Benchland and I hope you get some support here.
(I am not sure what part of the country you live in but there is lots of help out there. Have you a Maggie centre near you?)
Benchland is a magical place where you can escape the troubles of life. Hope to see more of you on here. Val

Gooseberrygirl - {{hug}}, Iā€™m so sorry, donā€™t know what to say but you certainly have had above & beyond your fair share :(.

Please make yourself very comfy on the cushioned whyme bench and someone will be along shortly with tea & cakes :D. Iā€™m new to benchland myself but have been warned about alligators :-0! Not seen any yet but quick heads up just incase!!

Mythos x

The benches have been quiet the last few hours. Obviously Sunday night is not a big rant night! Iā€™ve come looking for the comfort benchā€¦all warm & snuggly before I go to sleep! Feel like tomorrow is ā€˜Dā€™ Day with the oncologist giving me his thoughts and advice on my test results. Will soon know if both chemo & rads are on the agenda or not.

Night all

Twinky x

Good luck tomorrow twinky.

Hope all goes well. Read your posts most nights when i cant sleep either. Try to get some shut eye. Sweet dreams.

M x

Thanks Majelsty. Hope that you get some sleep soon x

Gooseberry, sending you lots of hugs, rant as much as you like!!!
Twinky, hope itā€™s good news for you today, will be thinking of you xx
Sitting on the ā€œreally canā€™t be botheredā€ bench this morning, but will have to shake myself and get on with things soon, or Iā€™ll be on that ā€œguiltyā€ bench again, another cup of tea anyone??? xx

Hi Twinky, so sorry to hear you are on the ā€˜worried-about-resultsā€™ benchā€¦ itā€™s a rather spikey one isnā€™t it? No amount of padding or cushions ever stops the discomfortā€¦ proof you are a real princess I think (peas under mattresses and all that). Hopefully all will be and you can escape from here at least for a whileā€¦ if not , look the ā€œI -can-do-thisā€ settee is over thereā€¦> with fresh supplies of lace hankies, calorie free and chem-taste-loss-proof cakes and drinks on tap.

Really hope itā€™s all good news today. Hereā€¦ a spoon just in case you need it ā€¦o