Stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND) (Part 1)

What happens when the music stops??

Depends where you are.

If you’re in the CBA beanbags you just shuffle a bit and mumble “nah, can’t be ar, erm, bothered” under your breath.

If you’re on the ******g furious bench, you leap up and down and scream “who turned off the ******g music!!!”

If you’re on the guilty bench, you reach for the tissues and feel more guilty than you did before because someone else was out instead of you. Or because you didn’t try hard enough so you’re out. Whichever, you feel a bit more guilty and then sit down again.

If you’re on the snoozing bench, you just snort a little, roll over and give a little snore.

If you’re on the had enough of this bench, you stomp off muttering “I’m not playing any more!”. And then sit back down on the bench.

If you’re on the we’re all equal bench, nobody’s out and the game starts again.

If you’re on the fat b******s bench, you stay where you are and reach for another cake.

If you’re on the is it me? bench, you automatically leave the game.

If you’re on the sad bench, burst into tears immediately and use up all the tissues.

If you’re on the my oh’s a b****** bench, turn to said OH and hit him hard, screaming “YOU did this, it’s all your fault!”

Choccie that explains it!!! I got OH to lift me off the bench
sorry beanbag/s
well he is a powerlifter
 I then pulled myself together & started packing, happy to report 4 cases lined up in the dining room!!!..guilt, what guilt
turn the music up!!

Spendablenda not sure if the music stops??? do we just keep moving benches? does anyone know, does the music stop???
Jeanette X

crossed posts with choccie??!!

Edited to say just read properly choccies post and now I think we should have a hysterical bench, perhaps with one of choccies spare buckets in case we don;t make the loo
sorry TMI but the old crock impressions mean it’s tough to get up the stairs in a hurry??? XX

Edited again to say I am heading back to the guilty bench for not reading choccies post properly first time!!!

J, you’re not allowed on there. I’m on the guilty bench! It’s all my fault, I edited the post because I couldn’t remember all the benches, so I’m guilty because I couldn’t remember, and because I edited the post, and because it made you feel guilty and, well, just BECAUSE!!!

Oh. I think I moved onto the ******g furious bench without noticing! Ooops!

Just want to know 
 on the ‘its my fault I got cancer bench’ 
 do you have to be wearing yellow wellies? Cos it is my fault but dont have yellow wellies??

Starting to sound like these benches are made out trees that have come down in the ‘dark, dark woods’! Nothing wrong with that - the recycling lowers our carbon footprint and gives us less to feel guilty about.
Dx

Choccie, I’M ON THE GUILTY BENCH!!! or is it the furious bench??? Is there a ‘time for a snack bench’ with those plastic boxes underneath full of goodies??? 
perhaps not or the guilty bench will collapse under the weight!!!

Im just happy to have my tastebuds return, and keep eating to make sure??? Oh no now I feel guilty for having tastebuds (after 9 weeks of everything tasting YUK)

I AM CONFUSED
 Will it be the snack or guilty bench , the fat bench?? now I feel like crying
the sad one 
Choccie
HELP, send me to a bench
I need to sit down!!!JX

Edited to say Phew! D, you have just added a’there, there feel better’ bench XX

J - and don’t forget these are turning into musical benches, so we’ll all get lots of exercise! And because everyone will be moving about so much, we’ll all make new friends and never get bored of the old ones.
Dx

Ah yes good point
that impression of an elephant is me lumbering off to the ‘there,there feel better’ bench
Aaah!!!..but the snack bench is still calling
!!! pass the earplugs!! XX

post deleted

Don’t get me started! Unfortunately, all the cheesy/obvious ones immediately spring to mind


I will survive - GG
Always look on the bright side of life! Monty Python
Reasons to cheerful (part 3) - Ian drury et al

lol

Ok move over Chocciemuffin I am back again on the crazy lady sobbing bench, my breakdowns are always very public (only had 3 but feels a lot more) so feel a bit guilty about that. I was in town yesterday and there was a small show taking place by a childrens dance company, as I stood watching the kids I started to feel very tearful and before I knew it the tears began to fall. OMG what’s wrong with me??? I did not know anyone in the show, what was I blubbering for??? Beat a hasty retreat. Then was reading the posts about the music and thought straight away about Abba’s Dancing Queen, started blubbering once more. This tamoxifen has a lot to answer for. X

Definitely stop all your sobbing- the pretenders- for katytc’s sobbing bench
barbara striesand guilty?? for the guilty bench
or are they also too obvious??X J

How about Tammy Wynette’s D.I.V.O.R.C.E. for the “my oh’s an a**e” bench
?

And ‘stand by your man’ also by Tammy W for the ‘OH is a diamond’ bench?? or does having a diamond OH put us right back on the guilty bench??? 
And so it begins again
 XX

post deleted

W-O-M-A-N. I’ll say it again

Lay your blanket on the the Ground
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
!!!

Don’t know so much about “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”, more like “If YOU said I had a beautiful body I’d take you to Specsavers”!

Another bench suggestion
 ‘I Know I should be grateful
but
’?? posted my woes on the post I put up asking if anyone ached more after chemo??? Cant explain again
I havent any energy today
feeling super miz
can you believe it when it’s my 13th wedding anniv, bank hol and I go on my holiday of a lifetime this week??? Wots up with me???JX