Stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND) (Part 1)

Life after a breast cancer diagnosis Living with breast cancer
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Just booked our Easter cottage. Usually book it after C-word so now I’m completely confused. It’s a cottage right by the railway station (branch line so not too noisy!) in a town near Norwich so we can visit the girls and hopefully wee small grandchild. :smiley: We can get there by train with minimal hassle and there should be enough to potter to for OH. It fits our complicated brief (and who wants ill-fitting complicated briefs? ?) so I booked it before anyone else beats us to it. 

 

Dinner tonight will be: roast beef, roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, braised root vegetables, creamed leeks, peas and gravy, followed by homemade bramley apple pie and ice cream. All welcome. :slight_smile:

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Thank you as always, yummy yum!!

Oooh that sounds good JCJ, how long for? A new grandbaby to visit:smileyhappy:, booking early saves any bother later…

 

Have been busy, busy today and found it really difficult to keep walking, ouchy ouch.

New bed ordered for YD, she has been putting it off for ages because of her move, but as that won’t be happening for a while, she has finally succumbed:smileyhappy:, all new bedding also purchased and cushions, will be very pretty. All clutter is gone, woo hoo!! Plus new unit with deep drawers, not briefs hee hee!

 

Forgot to say, hot water bottle is a must for me eases back, was lying on sofa other evening and was feeling pretty cosy…next feeling wetness…it had burst…sofa soaked, cushion and clothing soaked, aaaargh!! So much for my quiet evening, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Meeting has not been cancelled, YET??? xx

 

 

 

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Drawers, briefs? Well, pants to that I say! :smileyhappy:

 

Thank you for yesterdays dinner JCJ, yummy as usual.  Glad you have booked for next Easter, you are forward thinking.  Hope DIL is keeping well.

 

I bought a hot water bottle four weeks ago for my back which is giving me grief.  I hope mine doesn’t burst :smileysad:  It shouldn’t, it’s new.  

I’m going to have to go and see the Dr. about my back, I need stronger painkillers, paracetamol is not touchng it.  I’ve been putting it off for weeks 'cos I know what he’ll say…due to history, have a bone scan…no, it’s just the same old backache that I’ve had for 20 odd years in just the same place that’s a bit worse than usual. 

 

Switched on the upstairs light and the bulb blew and tripped the circuit, no worries…go to panel… reset circuit.  I have a new lightbulb but I can’t reach it . I will have to wait for Son or SIL to visit.

 

 

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I’ve just re-read last post and I didn’t mean I can’t reach the new lighbulb, I meant that I’m not even attempting to reach the light fitting to put the bulb into, i’ts right at the top of the stairs, over the stairwell.  Stupid place to put it, 12" back onto the landing would have been so much better.

 

Went to school early today for the newly arranged “let’s meet up every Weds. for a chat” meetng with Premises Manager, she didn’t turn up, why am I not surprised? 

 

Daughter is having gynae problems again and had an internal ultrasound last week.  She’s being referred to hospital, all talk is of a polyp so I’m not too worried.  But then again, I always worry about my kids!  Daughter says she’s going to ask what are the benefits/drawbacks of a hysterectomy and is going to to ask to be referred to the same consultant that sorted out her fibroid problem so there is continuity.

Son had a football injury, had his foot stomped on, he’s walking around but two weeks later it’s no better, so he’s got to go for an x-ray.  Flippin’ kids…giving me these worries.

 

But …all the GC’s are absolutely fine…as am I, except for the niggly back, Drs. appt. booked. When he’ll go off half cocked “because of history”. 

 

 

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And there was me thinking you’d stupidly put the new lightbulb on a ridiculously high shelf, FF! :smiley: Don’t blame you for not attempting the virtiginous replacement. It’s the same reason we got decorators in. Too high, man, the high! (Hippy voice)

 

School just as manic as ever. Teaching maths to a group of 8 every day; half a year group. They’ve split the year in half to get around the fact that they’re being taught half the year by 2 TAs (fortnightly rota: we’ll swap year group with their teacher every 2 weeks. The joys of mixed age classes in a small school and a maths scheme that requires teaching in Year groups! :() Also covering in the 3/4 class one afternoon a week. I’m campaigning to swap that afternoon to one where they have a visiting PE teacher because I’m NOT having all that extra responsibility for just 27p an hour more. It’s a joke! Especially after being told I was c**p! Counting down until I’m out of there. 76 weeks 2 days. Or less if they **** me off too much!

 

OH went on the train with his youngest brother, to London, to visit B-I-L yesterday. YB-I-L’s car still parked outside our house because he stayed down overnight. It seems B-I-L is no longer refusing food and may be slowly beginning the long road to recovery. 

 

Time to finish this mugatea and get off my a*se and get to work. Taking 30 kids swimming this morning! The joys!?

 

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Hope all goes well with daughter FF, and you too, is your appt soon??

Def would not try swinging from the rafters to try and change a lightbulb, not a good idea.

Oh my sounds manic JCJ, thought you were cutting back??? Remember the “no” word especially for 27p…you don’t mind helping BUT…

 

All ok here, meeting was cancelled but there will be no more meetings EVER, a misunderstanding on hospitals part therefore there was never any need for a meeting??? WHAT??? Seeing as we have been asking for a letter from the consultant since Mum’s first week in hospital, geez talk about no one knowing what the other one is doing??? Still don’t have the letter haha and the ward doesn’t know anything about it, oh well.

ED had her big scan and it’s a girl woo hoo, picture was very clear, lovely, lovely. This means that within weeks I will have gone from having two GC to having four, 2 boys and 2 girls, am well excited!!!

 

Letter arrived this morning from the genetics clinic, both girls will be tested, first steps are docs, then form from clinic, they go over that and then if there is a likelihood of a cancer gene they are tested, so have mixed feelings, happy they are to be tested but sad that they have to do it. I actually thought that they may not qualify, was that wishful thinking?? That’s me, ever the optimist.

Am also off to docs tomorrow, have a feeling skin cancer has not been destroyed by the cream just doesn’t look right and something has just appeared on my face, so two birds with one stone, happy days xx

 

 

 

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All ok at docs, it looks the way it should look woo hoo!!!

One on face needs the chemo cream, bit scared of using it on face so am going to try on eyebrow first!

Been on and off raining here and am finding it so chilly brrrrrrrrrrr.

Managed to make hair appt, dental appt and other calls this morning sooooooooo good to feel organised again haha, and also so nice not to be running around like a headless chicken…

Just munched tea there and it was yuck, really yuck:smileyfrustrated: will not buy again!

Hope you BIL is doing better, glad OH managed down to see him.

Am back reading book, was unable to concentrate at all, am enjoying xx

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Glad things are calming down, Katy, and hugely relieved that doc says everything OK with leg. Not entirely sure, if cream ok on leg why putting it on elbow will determine whether it’ll be ok on face? Is it just me, but *my* face skin is much more similar to leg than dry wrinkly elbow (shh! It’s rude to say my face is dry and wrinkly. How DARE you? :P) Also glad you are enjoying the book.

 

Hope your family medical issues are sorted with minimal waiting)hassle, FF.

 

Swimming quieter again last night. The 'speed boats" weren’t there, so just 2 of us shared the fast lane in comfort. I got back up to my pre-summerholiday distance. Kn***ered now though! Thank goodness it’s the weekend.

 

Had to bring my chips home to eat tonight because it rained just as I got within 100 yards of chippy. It had stopped by the time I came out but the sky still looked threatening and all the benches were wet. That’s probably it now for eating Friday chippies in the park/churchyard. :(  Until next summer. :slight_smile:

 

Wondering whether I’m too tired to concentrate on the baby blanket tonight.  It’s going OK. Done about 1/4 of it and it looks good and feels lovely. Can’t watch TV, read or do ANYTHING else while knitting it. Even someone speaking to me can make me lose count and my place in the pattern. I have got quite good at unknitting to correct mistakes!!

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Forgot to say: PE lesson swapped to when I’m covering Y3/4 class, so I only have to teach half the afternoon. For now. Glad I asked. :slight_smile:

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Haha haha haha haven’t laughed so much for ages my EYEBROW JCJ !!!
There is a little there too which will be hidden by hair so i can experiment hee hee x
What are you like??? xx

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Hahahaha! Comedy effect aside, I genuinely misread"eyebrow" for “elbow”. Told you I was tired! :slight_smile:

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I am also that glad that your leg looks as it should Katy and was also wondering if there was a problem on your face why would you be be putting it on your eyebrow?  I did read eyebrow, I’m not as tired as JCJ.

 

Son came over today and brought gardening tools.  I had mentioned to him that I had a new rule…I couldn’t go out or in of the back gate without pulling up at least six weeds :smileyembarrassed:  I’d been sticking to that and the garden was looking a lot better.  He came today and cleared the lot, it looks lovely and I don’t know where the brambles came from but I now have enough blackberries to make a pie!   Or two!  Off to supermarket tomorrow for some Bramley apples.

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Oh what a pity we can’t really share via the shed! We have gazillions of Bramley apples! Even, briefly, thought about posting you some but they’d cost more to post than to buy, wouldn’t arrive in time to use the blackberries and probably would be much the worse for wear after the journey!

 

I’m on the MOHIAB bench today. He’s not been taking his meds and EVERYTHING is my fault and always has been. Had a great long list of my “crimes” - dating back over 30 years- ranted at me last night because I told him off for disappearing, without telling me, in the car (without wallet, change, phone or, I thought, a jumper) for 2 hours in the evening. I wasn’t sure he was in the right frame of mind to be safe driving. Spent 2 hours wondering how long I should leave it before sending out a one-woman search party or calling the police! 

 

Going to have to watch out for my own mental health. :cry:

 

 

 

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Dinner is roast chicken, roasties, Yorkshire pudding, smashed roots, crispy kale, gravy and redcurrant jelly followed by fresh fruit salad, frozen mango and passion fruit yogurt and limoncello sorbet: which turned out to be a delicious combination! :slight_smile: I promise there’s no arsenic in it - at least not the portions in the shed. :stuck_out_tongue:

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Woo hoo FF, weeds all gone:smileyhappy:, looking forward to pie/pies later??

Thank you for dinner JCJ, yum yum.

Just agree with OH JCJ, that will confuse him and do lots of lalala s in your head, not worth feeling upset over or list ALL the things OH has done over the last 30 years…

Let him rant on, smile and nod head enthusiastically!!

 

 

Eyebrow/elbow scenario explanation…have a bit of precancer on eyebrow and a bit in the middle of my face, am trying eyebrow first as chemo cream is pretty destructive, eyebrow can be hidden by hair if it looks yucky, face can’t haha!!

Hair chopping later this morning and then out for dinner later, we are off to a place really near me so after a hop skip and jump I will be at the door, woo hoo. Feet are being naughty but can’t really complain as headless chicken mode is a difficult move to make on a daily basis haha.

YD’s new bed arrives tomorrow, hurrah, trying to build it, not hurrah…xx

 

 

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Well, well well, was in hairdressers chatting away as one does…when I started choking…couldn’t stop coughing and my voice went all funny…seemed to last for ages…face scarlet and eyes streaming…never been soooooooooooooooo embarrassed:smileyembarrassed: one positive seem to have good bladder control!

Spent afternoon making calls and am superly pleased with results, hurrah. xx

 

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Oh, Katy how enbarrassing with the coughing fit. It’s happened to me too, so I know how you felt.  But  I chuckled at your comment about the bladder control. I’m not sure I’d have any control over mine as just sneezing is problematic now.   I blame the kids :smileyhappy:

 

Pies/turnovers are on their way.  Slight delay as I couldn’t be bothered to go out and buy apples yesterday.  I’ve bought them today and stewed them with the blackberries (and I have blackberry seeds stuck in my teeth to prove it). I bought the pastry too.  I can make pastry but it never tastes like my Mum’s so if I buy it I can blame the difference on that and not that I can’t do it as well as Mum :smileysad::smileyfrustrated: Will be in the shed tomorrow.

 

Agree with Katy that you just go lalala when OH is on a rant JCJ.  When he’s rational though tell him how worried you were when he disappeared.

 

I will be staring into that hairdressers (point out every wrinkle,every grey hair) mirror on Thursday. I think I’ll keep my eyes closed.

 

 

 

 

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Yes keeping eyes closed is a good idea FF, haha!

Are there pies in the shed now??

 

Been busy, was up at hospital all afternoon with Mum she had an eye appt, all ok, returned home around 5.40 pm to a bed blocking my hallway…YD and I decided to build new bed asap, dismantle old bed, wash floor then new bed set up, it was really easy, thank goodness! Had an early night and could not sleep, grrrrrrrrrr:smileyfrustrated:. Today battled through galeforce winds and rain to Mum’s house all washing done, hurrah!! Quick trip to supermarket then practically flew home. Had a little fright, thought I was going to really fly, scary stuff.

Old bed, mattress and chest of drawers being picked up tomorrow some time:smileyhappy:

Am hoping for a reasonably quiet day tomorrow, we’ll see…

Weather is awful here xx

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Pies are in the shed and they are pretty good if I do say so myself.  You know me…I hate cooking but when Mother Nature puts a bounty like that in my garden, I just can’t ignore it.  It would be so wasteful, so wrong somehow.

 

Glad the bed building went ok Katy. I’ve lost the story a bit I think, is Mum still in hospital or at home now?  How is she?

 

I popped into Drs. today to see if I could get an earlier appt than the one I booked with my GP.  Managed to get one with a new to the practise Dr. tomorrow.  Back is getting worse by the day, I’m not waiting another 10 days. I need painkillers NOW! :smileysad:

 

We’ve had a strong breeze and slight rain today but we have a yellow warning for wind tomorrow.

 

 

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Delicious pies. Thank you. Hope you get your back sorted ASAP.  Back pain is miserable, as I know from experience!

 

Making the bed now has a whole new connotation, Katy! Glad it wasn’t too tricky.

 

I needed to get more Tapoxyfen. Could I find my paper prescription? Nope. Not where I always keep it, behind the calendar on the back of the kitchen door. Not anywhere else I could think of either. :frowning: Must have accidentally thrown it in the recycling bin with the paper chemist bag. Or have I had a senior moment and already handed it in at docs and forgotten??  Who knows?  I popped into surgery on Monday after school and receptionist clicked two keys on her keyboard and said “I’ll get that sent through to the chemist next door for you”. Picked up meds today. Simples.

 

Tried to set up patient access app thingy so I can do these things on my computer from home, but it seems I need to take my passport and another form of ID to surgery and fill in a registration form and await login details through the post. Really CBA with all that so I’ll just take better care of the bit of paper in future, and carry on dropping it in the ''repeat prescription" box 48 hours before picking up meds!

 

Training this morning at our sister school which is nearer to my house. It didn’t start until 9:30, so I had an extra hour to slob about this morning. I seem to have spent the rest of the day trying to catch up!