LOL Ninja that made me spit up my coffee! 
I think part of the problem with comments like ‘you’ll be okay’ is that people say the first thing that pops into their head, they just don’t think. Also the further you get from your surgery the more people think you are fully recovered, they don’t get that it’s not like having your appendix out!
Have only just found this and have heard everything that you’ve all put on here.
The “I know how you feel but stay positive” one is my favourite. I now say “Being positive is easy when you haven’t got a life threatening illness- but not when you don’t know if the chemo is working, you feel **** and can’t even find the energy to get out of bed. Not when 9 out of 10 women in my family have had BC and only 2 of them are still here.” It usually shuts people up!!!
Oh, my favourite one, many people have said this “I thought chemo made you LOOSE weight, you’ve got to be the biggest person I’ve ever seen so far on in chemo” - or variations thereof.
Thanks for that, I was hoping that one good thing about chemo and BC would be that I may loose a lot of weight but NO.
Weight comes off me slowly due to polycystic ovaries, so when I do diet it only comes off at 1lb or 2lb a week which makes it hard to stick with. Before i had PCOS if I lost weight it’d be at 5lb or 7lb a week, I lost a stone in a month once.
Kat: ““I thought chemo made you LOOSE weight, you’ve got to be the biggest person I’ve ever seen so far on in chemo” - or variations thereof”
Aye, my friend who had stomach cancer lost weight cos she couldn’t absorb food, but everyone on BC steroids seems to gain. Maybe they think you’re lying about BC?!
The problem, EK, is that they’ve sorted out the anti sickness meds too well.
You actually feel better if you eat when you’re queasy so you put on weight.
You’re on steroids so you eat and put on weight.
Tax and steroids both make you retain fluid so you put on weight.
You don’t get as much exercise so you put on weight.
In fact, unless they don’t get your anti sickness meds right and you spend all your time throwing up, the huge majority of us will put on weight during chemo.
You’ll still feel like total cr*p - you’ll just look better while you’re feeling that way…!
Jane xxx
“stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
THAT, for me, is the worst.
I wouldn’t mind if it was justified, if I’d howled and sobbed everyday since dx in nov, or through the months of chemo - but I haven’t. Moments of upset of course but nothing prolonged.
So, after listening to a friend, who was visiting me post mx and recon, lament the fact that she couldn’t find a nice bra and how awful her hair was, I felt a bit sad (not to mention sore, or concerned due to the seroma turning my back into a waterbed, or mentioning knackered from not being able to sleep properly).
“stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
Oh! Ok then. How ridiculous of me.
Jane, I’m not too sure that changing from an hourglass (I wish!) shape and adopting the shape of a rugby ball is “looking better” ;o)
Ninja, maybe I should have said, “Better than they think/hope you should look…”
Jane xxx
Scaco - can’t believe someone said that. You’ve managed to 'stay calm and carry on 'so not justified at all.
Actually it’s not justified if/when you do feel sorry for yourself. BC flipping well makes you feel sorry for yourself. Amazing we manage to smile and carry on most of the time.
Well done all of us.
Stella xx
Jane - it’s just me that’s adopting the shape of a rugby ball, I think! 
The rounded Steroid face makes us all look so well while we are feeling like s**t
…and for anyone telling me that “I have a lovely head like Sinead O’Connor” one more time…
dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2010532/Sinead-OConnor-barely-recognisable-long-hair-mumsy-trouser-suit.html
That’s what she looks like now! Errrmm, please may I *not* be compared to her any more? Thanks
Ummmmm, she actually DOES look better being bald - WTF is that hair about??? LOL.
With you on that one Ninja
Kat - I think it may be more of “the last 20 years have not been kind to her”
Just been told by a neighbour “don’t worry you’ll get through this, my son had brain cancer when he was 5 and he’s nearly 30 now!”
Erm, breast cancer and brain cancer, now let me see. . . yep the only similarity is that they both start with b!
I didn’t know what to say as she is a nice person and really did mean it in the best possible way.
cripes! is that really sinead oconnor? lordy!
Nymeria, it just does my head in.
When are these stupid people going to realise that cancer “kills” and yes of course “some” people are cured, but lots of people aren’t and its almost insulting that people seem to think they know more than the doctors who have been training for years!
I am in the kind of mood today that if anyone says the slightest tactless thing to me I am going to blow a fuse.
I have just had to ring my daughter at work and the girl who said to me when I thought I might have cancer “did the doctors say that, or are you being dramatic” answered the phone as she works in the same office as my daughter. I was actually very abrupt bordering on rude to her as thats the kind of mood I am in today!!
I know exactly what you mean. Everyone has a story about someone who’s had cancer and survived which they can’t wait to tell you about. It gets *very* irritating after a while!
I still cannot believe what that girl said to you - unbl***dy believable!
Sorry - this probably isnt the place for this comment but:
‘Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa haha hahaha…’ Sinead O’Connor!!!
Having had to listen to her in the early 90s bemoaning her beauty and saying that’s why she shaved her hair off (even though she still wore make-up), blah, blah… - no worries there now then Love!!
Ha Ha, sorry. Not very feminist or supportive and ‘yes’ she is clearly happy in herself and we shouldn’t judge on looks, which ‘yes’ was her point all along -
BUT: ha, ha, ha hahahaha.
Suddenly i feel much better! Come on Babs lets go out.
x
Tee hee - I know exactly what you mean SCACO. It feels a bit ‘mean girls’ to laugh but I couldn’t help it when I saw the pics because I got so sick of hearing her moan about the ‘burden’ of beauty. Pass the sick bucket please - oh wait a minute, we’ve all got the sick buckets haven’t we???
I’m in a bit of a stroppy mood this morning. Taxidermy got me last week and I haven’t been out of my front door (the garden doesn’t count) since Weds.
One of my best friends has just messaged me saying 'How are you today? Only one more to go!). My response… ‘Only one more to go or STILL one more to go - hmmmm, haven’t decided yet.’
Dx