I just posted a reply on that article. What also made me think “yup, I actually DO look like Sinead” is that I have a top EXACTLY like the blue one she’s wearing! And I am Rubensesque as well rather than sylph-like, but I have a bit less sylph than she does.
My mother bless her, phones every day and I really wish she wouldn’t. The conversation starts thus: “How are you today?”
“Feeling a bit crappy actually”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, I could do with a decent night’s sleep and to taste some food”
“You’ll probably sleep better tonight”
“No, I’m still on the steroids”
“Just think positive”
Small mushroom explosion…
The other is the ex (who probably, with all the stress he caused you is directly responsible for the cancer) saying “This little episode must give you a new lease on life” No, it @+?!~#*{':^&" doesn’t…
In 6 months i have (as have many of us): been dx with cancer, had chemo, been sick, lost hair, lost eyelashes and brows, suffered terrible pain through horrid injections, had drips for anti-biotics, had snb, nodes positive, had full clearance, mx, LD recon, put weight on and have now develped a seroma.
The final insult which this thing has dealt is the fact that i can’t wear any of my clothes due to pain in armpit and not being able to get arm up.
Crying and explaing this today -
Answer: ‘well you wouldn’t be able to wear your clothes if you were pregnant’
I do hope you had a very suitable reply to that one SCACO.
I returned to work today 2 weeks after my 2nd TAX. A colleague who was the one who commented that I looked normal after my first FEC (what did she expect?!) and who every time she sees me asks “Is that it now?” and every time I tell her “No, I still have xxxx to go”
I thought she would have learned to keep her mouth shut by now but no, once again she asked “Is that it now?” I felt like screaming at her “NO! I STILL HAVE 2 LOTS OF B****Y CHEMOTHERAPY TO GO AND THEN 5 WEEKS OF RADIOTHERAPY AND I WISH YOU WOULD STOP ASKING!!” But I just said “No not yet” and walked away breathing deeply!
On a seperate issue, I have been walking around with my bald head on show lately and although you know people stare sometimes, most people do it discreetly. However, while in the supermarket the other day a bloke did such an obvious double take his head nearly fell off his shoulders and he almost fell backwards over a trolley! I was really annoyed and said very loudly “There’s no need to stare!”. At that he shuffled off!
have had to have a giggle at these posts and yes have heard them all…had to just add on a different note when i was widowed at 36 and just nursed and lost my soulmate it was amazing how many people said "you are only young you’ll meet someone else "!!!as if replacing a pet, i just stated i dont want to meet anyone else and i never did !!they meant well but so tactless .x
The problem is so many of these people are well meaning . They just don´t know whether to say anything or not . If they do , usually they say the wrong thing and put their foot in it , if they don´t then I suppose we are guilty of thinking they don´t care .
personally I´d rather they said nothing about BC because you always end up giving some trite response , you dare not tell them exactly how you do feel , or at least not to their face.
So many feel that once the initial treatment is over thats it , you´re "normal " now ,back to how you were ( albeit witha few bits missing !) They don´t realise that if you suffer se´s from various tablets you could be feeling like s*** for the next 4-5 years !!
A mastectomy is equivalent to pregnancy?!?! For heavens’ sake!
I’m sorry about the seroma. It’s really difficult to explain to anyone who hasn’t had one just how miserable they are, along with water rentention and some of the other associated miseries.
Cheryl
Re: mx = pregnancy -
My mum said it!!!
Ninja, you have made my day!
DaisyGirl xx
And you can’t exactly slap her with the wet haddock. I come from the kind of family where the main use of a thermometer was to prove you were well enough to go to school, so I think I recognise the approach. (I was sent back home from school on more than one occasion.)
Mothers, honestly! (Do I ever say things like that to my children? Don’t answer that!)
A very gentle pat.
Cheryl
WE are allowed to liken the whole cancer rubbish to a difficult pregnancy but I think I’d be hauled off for murder if anyone else said it to me - and from your mum! SCACO, you must be a flipping saint for not biting back.
I haven’t had any comments whatsoever from my sister, who I told about it in February, before I even started chemo. No phone calls, no texts, no messages on facebook, nuffink. Says it all really. Am I bothered? Nah.
Buzzy, really well done on calling him out on being so VERY rude.
I had something similar this morning in Sainsbury, but to give her her due, the person who said it was only about three… “Oh Mummy, look at that lady’s hair!” said this clear and penetrating voice. I have to admit to smiling when I saw how fast the trolley went shooting up the yoghurt aisle!
(And I smiled even more to myself that she said “hair” rather than “bald head”!)
“You look so well not like other people I’ve seen with cancer. You’re lucky not to be having nasty side effects!!!”
I smiled and said politely “Must dash-got a busy day today.”
Wanted to administer FEC to her and watch her suffer! Grrrr
Rachel
Clearly you’ve always had no hair !!! Obviously hair loss is not an S.E.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
T
I have to say I’m surprised at how many people who have posted comments they’ve received haven’t actually responded with much more than a smile and a polite nod. I bet Buzzy felt good in calling out the rude bloke in the supermarket, and anyone who’s been directly insensitive has definitely been treated to full-on Muffin!
I was shopping in Tesco and this guy was staring his wife said don’t stare its rude,with that he fell headlong into the wet fish god did i laugh his wife shouted serves you right as people don’t laugh at you with you comb over lol I just looked and smiled and said thanks to his wife…
Susan-that made me laugh and has cheered me up. I was feeling really down today! Thanks x
Would have said a lot more to said woman but my daughter was with me! When I’m alone they get it straight then they’re usually speechless. Bless them all!!
We expect blunt questions from small children, don’t we? If it came to it, I think I’d just say I was poorly for a while and had to take some strong medicine that made my hair fall out, but it would grow back. And assure any adult with the child that I wasn’t offended.
Isn’t that word ‘poorly’ useful? Often used ungrammatically, but since it covers everything from a grazed knee up it’s a good word to use with small children.
Cheryl