I have got to say it came out of his mouth with such ease. A really gentle sincere comment from a man, really did make my heart melt. Really really was kind and I shall make sure I tell his wife who is lovely too, how kind he was and how me made me feel still attractive, rather than the vision I have of myself which is “the only gay in the village” character lol
And yes I agree about the positive crap. I too am very postive, but feel I am not allowed to have non positive days, which is crap, because people who arent fighting cancer have them dont they.
sorry this was before cancer, But SGL reminded me of the day i looked in the mirror and bemoaned " i am looking so old nowadays" and my OH, not know for compliments said. " yes but my eyes are fading as you age, and you are still the beuatiful girl I married" Gosh he might have read it and saved it up or it could have been a rare flash of hearfelt sentiment–whatever, it did the trick. Bless him, must go and give him a hug.
Thanks, everyone, for the poop on the head comments - that cheered me up. I think I prefer the sloppiest poop - toss up between the flying pig and the osterich!
Fran.
PS SGL aand OAL - what lovely comments you both had! It’s nice to know that not everyone is totally insensitive.
Has anyone else had the comment “Sorry to hear you’re unwell”? as if I’ve got a bit of a cold!!! I feel like screaming “I’ve got bloody breast cancer - I don’t mind saying it even if you do!”…but usually I just give a feeble grin & thank them for asking!
I was out with my friends last night - went commando for the first time with the gang - usually wear something on my head hat/scarf sometimes wig! So there we were, all sat round the table and I could tell it was coming - ohhh you are so lucky it started…
yes, the next bit was you have a good shaped head!
I just collapsed with giggles. My poor friends were only trying to be kind!
Dunno but some of the ladies on here really love theirs. I got a one in for emergencies but have worn it twice. I thought that I wasn’t going to be a wiggy person and I’m not.
PW: why do folk think that it’s OK to comment on the shape of our heads? Would they like it if we comment on the contours of their buttocks or stomach?
DArn, wish I’d thought of that Ninja, people have got used to the baldie (but getting hairier) me so I don’t get the beautifully shaped head comment much, but retorting about the shape of their feet, or bum, or knees, or stomach - what a great response!
Having scanned through some of the comments in this thread, I’m now starting to get paranoid … by how FEW people have told me how well I look!!! Either I have a lot of very well informed friends who know how insensitive it would be to tell me how well I look, or I just look soooo bad that they know it would be completely implausible to say I looked well
I never shop in our local store without a beanie on. Purely because I know the small minded prats just want to see a baldy head.
Today, some bird was having a look at me,her wig cocked to one side, one ear on show. Badly brushed and totally mauled and unclean. She looked awful. Bless her!!
Now that my hair is short all over , but obviously not a chosen hair style, many people tell me how it suits me. I think not. But what really gets me is that several bald or balding male friends have said “well it’s all right , you’ve got more hair than me”. They seem perplexed when I tell them that’s not much consolation.
Also a friend the other day said:‘Do you mind if I feel your head?’
‘If you must’, I said - and she did, but made no further comment - unusually for her.
Just thought I’d post to say that I think we are educating the public. I’ve (as we all have at times) been telling people how I really feel. A friend of mine said:-
"I feel quite guilty about how blase I have been in the past when people are having chemo or radiotherapy. I just didn’t realise how awful it really is- then she finished up by saying “stay strong”
Yeah… Get better soon - really annoys me, like I don’t have a cold mr! And today “this chemo seems to be easie for you than the last one” And you can tell that HOW??? No idea what to say… and last week… “IT’s gone very quickly hasn’t it?” NOT FOR ME!!!
Also-my very best friend put her foot in it today-but i forgive her cos she’s lovely! I was bemoaning all the weight I’ve put on on chemo and she said “But you still look lovely because you’re tall, and even without hair you are still pretty and you have a nice head!” I ranted about that not being the point and she looked all upset and said “I don’t care how fat, bald or moody you are because you’re my best friend and I just want to have you around for the next 20 years at least.” It melted me-we had a hug and a piece of cake and we both felt better! (and fatter!!)
An acquaintance of mine said on FB when I was bemoaning having to shave my hair off “I’m sure if you asked your female friends they’d shave their hair off for charity or something to support you” and I said “No they bl**dy would NOT, who’s CHOOSE to be bald as a woman?” and she said “I bet they would” … I said “OK then, you bl**dy do it” ------ oh look, tumbleweed.
It p*ssed me off because it was like trivialising what I was going through as is a lot of stuff people say to “make you feel better” - Oh it’ll grow back, Oh you have a nice shaped head" or whatever.
Don’t tell me if they had to do it because of an illness that they’d be unbothered about it. Especially bearing in mind that it take ages and ages to grow back long again and it’s a constant reminder once treatment is over.
Rachel
Your friends comments made me cry, because “she love’s you”, just the way you are" what ever that way may be. She may not always be able to express it in the best way but she means well. I have lots of friends but 2 who have stood out through all this BC s–t and I now know they really care just like your friend, hold her close, she may not be perfect but she’s there for you.
Hugs for you (((((((())))))))))))
T x
