hi all,
Thanks to Julie and Susan for the lovely post - sums everything up.
Ninja - your treatment was totally outrageous, give 'em what for…
Hoo-hoo’s and haa-haa’s had me hee-heeing…
Went for pre-chemo bloods yesterday and the stick-man asked how far through I was and how tall I was (I’m 6ft 2in) and I knew what was coming - the recently published study on taller people and cancer risk - so all of this cr@p is MY fault (well my parents really and they’re both tall), and coupled with my ‘bad’ western diet there really was no hope for me - I’ll go in yellow wellies next time too…
Lookin’ forward to whipping off my wig when next ‘tall/cancer risk’ comment comes my way (and I’m sure I’ll get quite a few now) - ‘too late…’ and a viewing should do the trick for those who don’t know…
I parked my car in a car park this morning and when I came back to it there was a young couple sat in the car next to mine. As I’ve chosen to not wear wigs or scarves for the majority of the time I was anticipating some funny looks from these two. As I got into the car the guy had obviously said to his girlfriend, who had her back to me, “Look at that woman”. She swung her head round for a good gawp but I caught her eye so she looked away again quickly. But the guy was still staring so I just poked my tongue out and drove off!
Childish I know but I felt better for it. If they had had their windows open they would have got much more than that!
Beverlie-you are tall but you do have a lovely shaped head and you are brave and an inspiration (said with a sympathetic smile.)
Buzzy-I wish I’d done that last night. i went to a 40th party and felt like a goldfish as several people were staring at me. I wasn’t brave enough to say anything but felt very conspicuous.
I was in hospital a few weeks ago, after being pushed in a wheelchair by a porter for about 10 mins he started to laugh he said ‘all this time I’ve been trying to work out how you’d done that with your hair and I’ve just realised it’s a scarf’ - my scarf was blue with white dots!!! He made my day!
I got cross today! My next door neighbour, who makes everyone else’s business his business stopped me to talk when I was mowing the front lawn. He said" Oh, I’ve just done next door’s (other side) lawn because he has such a lot to do bringing up those 2 girls by himself and he’s got a bad cold!" (said neighbour is 35 and has his girls only at the weekend!) I said " Oh, that’s really kind of you, I could do with some help myself. I’m bringing up two girls by myself and having chemotherapy." Unbelievably he said “yes but you’re not poorly like he is-he’s really suffering with this cold.” I said " Oh, I didn’t realise a cold was a life threatening illness. Cancer is you know, I could die." He dug himself in deeper " Oh you won’t-don’t be silly! A few more weeks and you’ll be fine!!!" I was seething by this point and was brave enough to say “I really hope you have to go through this one day and then maybe you will be a bit more understanding and less insensitive” Feel bad now as I usually manage to control my outbursts, but he’s so thick skinned he probably didn’t even realise what I said. Grrrr!!!
If one more person tells me I’m nearly there I swear to God I will kill them! I haven’t finished chemo yet … Have one breast … No hair … Feel like shit … Fat … Have 3 ops next year … Too tired to work or do anything … Now back off people!
DJ-they did the edges and the weeding and made the supper but I don’t trust them with the mower. Eldest is most accident prone person I have ever known. Think I could do with a sheep or two!
Anyway I was busy being inspirational and brave and looking so well i suppose i should expect comments like his. Oh, and the youngest “accidentally” chopped off a whole top of beautiful climbing rose that was hanging over our fence a little ! Revenge is sweet! I have them in a vase now LOL
Hi All
Had melt down today having chemo, arrived for my appointment to be greeted with the comment " you wont be able to have cold cap today as not enough hatgs have been ordered and the other lady ( she actually gave me her name!) needs it more than you.
Why is this I ask "other patient had her chemo last cancelled due to low bloods and replanned for today and nobody had picked up there would be a clash for the cold caps.
Her tone whilst telling me this was extremly rude, this chemo nurse always acts as she’s doing me a favour, not!
Well I had a light blue touch paper and stand back, told her that actually the cold cap was part of my agreed treatment and that I am just as important as the next patient and that whilst admin errors happen they needed to retify their problem and not make it mine and I wouldn’t be having treatment without it.
She then said “I’m telling you” not a good thing to say to someone on chemo day, I did very nicely tell her that actually I didn’t choose to need this treatment, would rather that I didn’t need it and actually she isn’t doing me a favour.
I ended up in tears had the worst chemo admin ever, felt really ill due to all the stress, not sure wether to complain about her attitude. The stay in hospital ended up being 5 hours.
What do you think?
T
think you put this on the wrong post, I am struggling to find anything at all “well meaning” in her attitude. how on earth can one persons need be more than anothers. Adminastrative cock ups do happen, but she should have been grovelling on the floor about it rather than on her high horse.
talking of horses, seen that possey riding by, perhaps they will come with you next visit.
I think you were treated disgracefully and that you were absolutely right in what you said to the chemo nurse. Typical civil service attitude from the NHS.
Please accept a virtual hug from me - dealing with these “jobsworth” types makes the whole process so much worse than it needs to be. Just a bit of humanity and a “how would I feel if it was me in this situation” would make things so much easier.
“you wont be able to have cold cap today as not enough hatgs have been ordered and the other lady ( she actually gave me her name!) needs it more than you”
That’s making my blood boil on your behalf! Cheeky mare! Get that complaint in writing.
OMG!!! I am totally speechless (thats very rare) who the flippin hell does she think she is telling you that you cant have the cold cap. So let me get this straight, you have spent hours before having it to save your hair to have all that time wasted not too mention loosing your hair, just to an admin error!!! I am sitting her fuming for you!!! COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN!!! Can you see I am extremely cross about this!!
First time I went for my chemo I said I wanted the cold cap. Nurse used a squirty bottle to wet my hair then rubbed on a bit of conditioner. She then messed about for at least 20 minutes trying to find a cap that fit, and then getting it cold enough - by which time my hair was drying out. I then watched another nurse getting another lady ready for her cold cap treatment - totally different. She spent a long time wetting her hair, combing it through, then putting on conditioner and then combing that through too.
Second time I went for chemo - nurse said to me - “we don’t have you down for cold cap treatment - not sure if there is time to do it but we can give it a go” - I told her that there wasn’t much point as my hair was already coming out - and I am certain it is because of the way my first treatment was done.
Its just a job to 75% of the nurses - there are some outstanding ones but also some outstanding mediocre ones. What I have learnt is to stand up for myself. This is about getting ME better, not about them doing me a favour. It’s their job - but it is MY LIFE.
Unbelievable ! Right… there is some serious letter writing to be done here. You need to complain not only to the hopital, but also to your local MP, the NHS customer care service, the Department of Health … all these contacts are on the internet … send them all registered so they have to sign for the letter. End the letter with a line saying you look forward to an explanation or something that tells them you expect a reply. One letter will do all … but make sure you put all the addresses on the letter so each person knows you’ve written to all the others. and please stress how emotionally traumatised you have been by this experience. Cancer is difficult enough to deal with.