PW - oh dear… can’t really say anything else on that one!
Hope you’re feeling not too crappy after poisons and that he’s made you something nice to eat or drink.
Can someone remind me what F-I-N-E is an acronym for, please. I want to print it out!
Thanks.
Fran.
The husband this morning after being asked not to block the bathroom up because I took a laxative last night!!
Husband: Why do you keep getting constipated?
Me: It’s the cancer medication.
Husband: I can’t understand why you are still taking those things after all this time. They’re doing more harm than good!!!
Good job I don’t expect any understanding.I’ve still got 18 months to go on ‘those things’.
Hi Barton
F fu**ed up
I insecure
N neurotic
E exhausted
It was in a book I bought in Canada " I am not my breast cancer"
E x
Only just looked at this and ain’t had time to read all of them, so sorry if I tread on anyone’s toes. I didn’t need chemo (only rads) so I didn’t have to cope with hair/head comments. But what really annoys me is that because I didn’t need chemo, people seem to think the operation was the end of the story
“Oh well, they have cut it out so you are OK now aren’t you”
“They have cut it out so you don’t have cancer now”
There is a total lack of comprehension that you live with it every day and the possibility that it might come back. So I tell them,
“Er, no, statistics give me a good probability for another 5 years…”
That shuts them up.
Linky
ok, nothing at all to do with BC. i am not chemo, so probably a bit trivial
i have put on weight since my op. probably innactivity, but it seems more like fluid to me.
anyway off out tonight trying on outfit after outfit. finally went through to OH and said, i think this makes me look chunky
what did he say— no more chunky than normal. not the best answer.
i got a tiny bit weepy when i got my radiotherapy appointment-my husband said-don’t know what you’re bothered about-the cancer has all gone !!!
yes i got that one too. I dont think that it is that they dont care, its more that that is what they want to pin their hopes on.
i gave him a long chat about how rads were not fun, how the 5 years hormone was not without side effects, and how evan after that somebody has to be the low percen that gets re-occurance.
now i feel realy guilty. he was not expecting that.
YAF, sometimes our nearest and dearest do need a bit of a peek inside our heads to understand some of the more gory aspects of living with a BC diagnosis. And yes, the bald truth can be a bit shocking. After all, we were in the unlucky percentage bit to get the diagnosis in the first place.
ARRGGHH! Families!!
OH thinks I should visit his family as they ask after me. My MIL once told me, she passed our house on the bus one day. She couldn’t remember which house it was, but the car wasn’t there any way!? I might look stupid…
My own mother comes to our house for a hair cut, so that’s three times she’s called round since february. She thinks chemo had finished half way through so i’ve decided not to tell her about the surgery. We were close. Mum’s widowed and i’m an only child. She lives three miles away. I had an answere phone message last night to tell me that me forwarding her details onto a soliciter last month, has benefitted her by £539. Didn’t ask how I was though.
Friends!!
I can see my close friend from school in a chat window right now. She’s lost the ability to use her fingers to say hello. I think it’s serious and can’t be cured as she’s had this problem sinse my dx…very odd!
I was using msn the other day for a natter. Two people were in the chat window. My friend who lives on the same estate as me and asks my daughter in the pub how I am, and my beastie who lives 3000 miles from me who flew over before I started chemo for 12 hours to bring me a wig and show mw how to look after it. He flew home at 7.00 the next morning because he had a show that night. (That’s that evening on my profile pic :o) )
Anyway, rant over. That’s a bit better!
Yes!! That annoys me. My OH’s family call him for a chat and ask how I am - I’m sat right in the room next to him every time, why don’t they ask to speak to me and ask me themselves???
Not *ONCE* through the whole of treatment has anyone from his family spoken with me personally, they haven’t been round here either and his Mum and sister both work about 10 minutes from our house (but they live a good 40 minute away)
I hate that there are some people out there that seem to not dare see me now, what are they expecting to find? Gollum?
Oh and another thing, a few people have made the comment that they saw on Facebook that I was having a bad time with SEs so “didn’t want to bother me” - ummmmmmm, I want support? I want people to come over and see how I am, if I don’t I will say but don’t assume. That is my loneliest time and I feel like noone cares about me.
Rant over 
I love this site.
yes - “Don’t like to phone - you might be resting”… two friends came the other afternoon (different times) - bad day… told them it was a bad day… who made the cups of tea??? Yep. Me. Suppose if I’d ASKED, they would have without a problem, but… I hate asking! Jane
E (queen of retail therapy) - thanks for your reply re. F-I-N-E. Yes, that’s exactly how I feel!
GIJane - thank you for your personal message reply - I have replied the same way.
Fran.
Families - yeah. My mum discusses every aspect of my treatment with all her friends / neighbours etc who don’t even know me (my parents live over 300 miles away and it’s not where I even grew up). BUT she never asks how I feel about everything.
Friends - better story. 2 different friends, both of whom live more than 2 hours drive away, said could they come and see me in-between chemos. They both said they would completely understand if on the day I wasn’t up to it, or could only cope with 10 minutes of company.
My GP: OK, so how are you coping…er…generally?
Me: Hmmm, ok, but to be honest, my prognosis is quite poor and it’s difficult to live with that.
My GP: Well, perhaps it’ll be better now the treatment has finished
Me: {{thinks…eh? what does she mean, that’s what I’m talking about}} Er… well the prognosis is still not great, I mean I have every poor prognostic factor there is. My chances of recurrence are…
My GP {{interrupts, complete with song-sng voice}} Ooooh except YOU have a positive attitude!!!
I have never discussed the cancer with my GP, other than to ask her to contact the hospital. What makes her think I have a positive fluffing attitude, and even then, what is she saying? Ah yes, perhaps my negative attitude is why I got cancer in the first place.
I know it wasn’t meant to be offensive but it really irritated me when, having returned to work, a colleague of mine told me ‘to let my hair down’. Irrespective of whether or not it was intentional I couldn’t help but think that they had been a little insensitive - I’d barely finished chemo and my hair in my late 30s, was not only grey but was also only an inch long! As much I like to think I am a forgiving person, I am more than pleased to say that we are no longer work colleagues!
OOOOOh a pet hate of mine even BEFORE cancer - Positive/Negative Attitude - what a absolute load of b*llocks. I’m sure this is B*llocks that people come out with when they don’t know what to say. Well here’s a tip - if you don’t know what to say - say NOTHING rather than B*llocks about Positivity/Negativity.
I saw my family last weekend, 250 mile drive. I’m in the middle of chemo, and rads next. My SIL who had BC 3 years ago and rads, no chemo, showed me her scar and the mark from rads in the restaurant car park. Told me how painful it was and she still can’t wear a bra. Not really what I wanted to see or hear. It was a bit like ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ at school. I wasn’t playing. Even women who have had or have BC can still be insensitive.
Agree with hipchick. Also BC is not one disease.
My, er, friend, 30 years older with a 5mm Er+ stage 1, grade 1, told me I was ‘getting a bit over-focused about BC’ and ‘she didn’t know why it had affected my life so much’. Ahem. And, 'after all, (she) had found it barely worse than a bit of 'flu".
So, she had a lumpectmy only, no chemo, no rads, no follow up drugs.Her kids have left home. Her chance of recurrence is 4%. She’s retired and very wealthy. I had stage 3b, HER2+, grade 3, mx, 8 lots of chemo and 50Gy rads. My chance of recurrence is 70% I lost my business, am almost bankrupt and my OH is prob gonna leave over it all. Can’t find the money to help kids at uni. House prob going to end up repossesed.
I also had someone say to me yesterday ‘oh don’t worry, BC is one of the curable ones’.
BC is not one disease :-(.
Oh no, xwelcomex, that’s awful news. I’m so sorry you’re having such a bad time. It’s so hard to deal with work and financial stuff when your life is turned upside down. Really hope things get better, that your OH doesn’t leave, and that people stop saying such ridiculous things. xx