harp1970 … it’s just made me more determined to get back there and kick her out - back to her part time work!
Bluddy hell, angie, that one really takes the biscuit! How ON EARTH can she think it’s ok to tell you she’s after your job?!
Funny how people show their real colours … she’s also the only one that hasn’t been in touch with me throughout this ordeal… probably too busy planning how she’s gonna take over! Afraid I’ve used the C card and let the conversation slip to management … they were appalled.
Come on girls!
54 PAGES of well-meaning (but annoying!)things people say!Too many negative thoughts (even if some of the clangers turn out to be amusing)!
I’m starting a new thread of"Encouraging Things That People Say!"
Hope I won’t be the only one posting on it!
Sadly, most of the things said are annoying!! Its pretty rare that someone says something ecouraging!
Angie, thats a hideous thing to say, I am not surprised you are agnry, I would be livid. I hope you get back to your job soon, what a cheeky mare!
xx
My cousin, (who I love dearly, honestly!)said to me through the week, ‘yes, I suppose the aches and pains you have might just be due to your age (50 in Feb) and nothing to do with the chemo you just finished in Feb,rads you finished in Apri, Herceptin and Letrozole you are still on’.!!! Needless to say, I just felt, 'you really don’t get it do you??). I just, smiled, raged internally and then let it go. It is that old thing, walk a mile in someones shoes to understand their life, their pain. J.
Good on you for holding your Tongue Jayne, don’t think I would have been able too!
Is it just me or do you put up with all the stupid remarks and plattitudes grinning like a Cheshire car for months as you are too shocked to say anything for fear of offending, but then you just get to a stage when you think enough is enough and start telling people some home truths! Lol or maybe in my case its due to the tamoxifen making me very emotional and stroppy!! X
I think you’re right SGL, half the time when you’re in a chemo fog, you can’t think of retorts in time or can’t be bothered. When that fog clears, you either bite your tongue or let rip.
My niece posted some cobblers on Facebook about changing your status in honor (she’s American) of those who have fought cancer and lost, those who have fought cancer and won, and those who are still fighting. I replied ‘dislike this status. Talking about fighting suggests those who didn’t survive didn’t fight hard enough but I have seen too many people who did everything they could and still died’. On reflection, definitely a tad harsh as she is only 11 but then maybe it’ll stop her posting any old tosh in future.
Note to self: try to be nicer aunty :0)
my friend sent me a private message on facebook saying that sorry she hadn’t been in touch but she’s got another friend who’s ‘fighting’ cancer at the mo & she’s been busy helping her! She then went on to say stay strong & exercise as that’s meant to be the new cure. People do mean well but they get it so wrong, my other friend gave me the usual thing about a mutual friend having had it & she’s ok. Yes i said, but hers was a mastectomy only ( & i don’t mean that lightly) & nothing else. I have to have ops,chemo,rads,lymph node clearance. Yes we have cancer but that’s the only thing we have in common, each type is different with different treatments & survival rates. That soon shut her up,lol. x
HJV, what a damn cheek, what she only has so much support to give, and once its gone its gone.
Well, I just had something annoying sent to me today via email.
A friend, who I supported through various things, her mum dying of BC, her hubby running off with her friend etc. etc. But when mum was diagnosed, she was too busy to even text. When I was diagnosed, much the same.
Anyway my daughter works with her, so I text to ask for daughters email as didn’t have her work one. I got sent the email and asked “So how are you”. I text back and told her about my treatment and she totally blanked the cancer bit, only acknowleding the bit about our childrens exam results today. She then, had the bloody audacity to write “we are lucky they have passed, lets hope this is a turning point for all of us this year” hmmmm excuse me, what the f*** does she need a turning point for. How dare she say that to me, when I have months and months of treatment and even then, no guarantees it will come back.
I am quite cross today!
The comments really do come out don’t they! the worst I heard was when my grandads got cancer and ppl said ee well he’s a kanny age and well he’s had a good life!!!
Am getting fed up with so many comments about my hair - it is growing back and does look good - but everyone assumes that means I’m getting better - it doesn’t; it just that the current chemo is not causing my hair to fall out again. Others do like the simplistic don’t they - but then I’d have probably only thought the same in the past too when I knew next to nothing about different chemos etc. But I do love my new hair so just leave the conversation hanging at that point…
I’m fed up of hearing “Oh you’ve done chemo so you’re on the mend then?” or “Is that it now?” or “So you’re cured then?”
Arggggghhhhhh, No, I have rads to do, then 5 years of Tamoxifen, then after a year some form of a reconstruction…
That’s not IT yet, I wish. The worst part is over yes, but it’s not ALL over.
And those with kids telling me that if I can’t have a child then “at least you’ll have a life”. Well if having kids is such a BANE then why do people have more than one, surely it can’t all be misery and martyrdom? Oh and perhaps I’ll “Have a life” but if it comes back then it may not be much of a life!
Grrrrrrrr 
I replied to her about it being a while before any corners are turned for me. Her reply was yes same for me, I am not far behind you in the crap situation! She does not have a life threatening illness, she is not about to start chemo, herceptin and rads along with the Tamoxifen for five years!! Am I right to feel so cross!!
SGL - We all get cross don’t worry about it.
The amount of people (inc my OH) have told me how tired they are… oh right, so you’ve just been through surgery, chemo with a whole heap of SEs, still recovering, got rads to do, 5 years of tamoxifen and a reconstruction… oh and 5 years of worrying if I’m “cured”.
You can’t help but feel annoyed at people, it’s normal.
They don’t understand it all and say things and not think.
I’ve said to people that all cancers arent the same, like many illnesses. You get people who have asthma who manage fine with an inhaler, then you get people who can’t walk across the room without getting really out of breath and can’t work as a result. It’s so varied and individual.
evening all…
well, been back to hospital for another checkup (massive infection at the mo, they think theres some other bits n bobs going on, so next round of tests on monday)…anyway, put on fb cos i couldnt be bothered sending out txts etc (lazyfingeritis) just put on…is back at hospital tomorrow for an MOT due to cellulitis etc
fair amount of mates…good luck chick, thinking of you…which was nice…one female…oh, are you still having issues, i thought you were finished with all that…aaaaand shut down laptop, dont bite, dont bite, dont bite…
still youngest daughter amused everyone on the bc unit this afternoon (full family outing as its over an hour away), shes only 7 but on the ball and announces in the not very subtle 7 year old voice…muuuuum, do you come here a lot…yes…oh, you come here every year dont you…yes…hmmm, is your old boob here…no its not…is it in a jar, in a cupboard, can i see it?..no its not in a jar in a cupboard, so you wont be able to see it…oh, thats a shame, i think they should have a cupboard with them all in jars so you can say hello to it…erm erm, ok…well can i come in with you…no you cant, you can stay here with daddy…awwwww i want to show your nurse my wobbly tooth as thats faaaar more important than your sore booby, and she knows eeeeeevvvvverything…needless to say there were vast amounts of struggles in the room to keep a straight face, so hopefully my monster made a few ladies smile today, certainly made me chuckle
buttons, thanks for that, yourb girl made me laugh out loud!
Hope your tests go well and you dpn’t feel too rough over the weekend xx
Had it for two weeks now, rang through to the unit last friday, so they squeezed me in today, which was good…so got another round of antibiotics and the 3 point checks to have on Monday (dreading taking youngest for that) she knows all the nurses from the when they came to see me on the wards, so isnt shy about coming forward. Takes it all in her stride, and makes a lot of people smile, but for the unit being what it is…everyone knows why you’re there, so it always seems a bit tense in there, which is a fair one. As soon as she came out with the ‘boobs in jars’ comment, you could just see every person in the room picturing it…and then struggling with straight faces at various other 7 year old comments that she was coming out with, seemed to make the room a lot lighter if that makes sense. It was the my wobbly tooth comment that really had everyone struggling lol
Have you seen the link Dancing Girl provided in another thread? It’s a brilliant cartoon answering ‘But you’re cured now, right?’ and explaning the uncertainty we have to live with. I sent the link to my OH, and he said he hadn’t really understood before, but the cartoon made it clearer.
So here’s the link:
POSITIVITY
It *really* annoys me when people say “think positive” - oh right, because if I think positively then I won’t get any side effects then. Because that’s how a body works. Riiiiiiight, OK.
That’s like saying “well stick your fingers in your ears and go LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you”.
Is this something irritating people say because they dont know what to say so just instead of saying “Oh I hope you’ll be oK” they blurt out the verbal diahorrea that is “be positive” or “oh you’re so negative”.