Mekalar - but I’m not having chemo, I’ve only got fibromyalgia (according to her) but why that’s made my hair fall out, I cannot imagine.
I feel unable to say in the middle of a supermarket, “I have cancer” cos I didn’t want to break down, you see.
I have a ‘friend’ who has never been to see me since all this started but rings every now and then to say, 'Don’t worry, I am sure you’ll be fine."
How does she know? (I have stopped taking her calls, BTW)
yeah with you there. I found it very hard 2 weeks ago sitting in my GP waiting room it was packed when I went in there & the last time I was there was about the lump id found, I had to go to the loo once because I kept getting hard lump in my throat & I could feel the tears welling up I even took a walk down where the nurses offices are making out I was looking at the info pamphlets plastered everywhere, I found it agony to keep my composure especially as people I knew came in & nodded hi how are you with big smiles it was AGONY Ive never wanted to get into the doctor so quick
Mekala x
Hi Cherryorchard yes im getting this too but found they dont even call me either my family are really good but the hubbys fam who all live nearby are very quiet … makes you feel like you got some contagious disease 
Hi everyone,
Great thread. I have had soooooooooo many, ‘You look soooo well’, ‘You are amazing’ and you are soooo brave’ I know they mean well so actually I don’t react and I just say in response to ‘You look sooo well’, “I know”!! ‘You are amazing’,…“I know”, ‘You are soooo brave’…“I KNOW”!!!
Wandyx
Mekalar - ‘contagious disease’ exactly. None of my other friends, just this one.
I also fed up with being told how brave I am. I’m not. I am facing this with determinination to do everything to fight it; bravery has nothing to do with it.
I hate it when people say “you were lucky they caught it early” I would have been luckier if I hadn’t had it at all!!
When I told my sister that I had decided not to have a reconstruction she said “Well I suppose if you were one of those women who cared what you looked like you would have one”.
A friend of mine was having trouble with her utilities company and she told me she said to her husband “It could be worse … I could be Maude”!
A “friend” texted me asking “who was your surgeon when you had your breast off?” I can’t stand that phrase!! It makes me want to scream - why don’t people say “mastectomy” or even “operation”??!!
Love
Maude x
Maude: “Well I suppose if you were one of those women who cared what you looked like you would have one”
Did you hit her or just glare?
Some people…
Maude
I hate that one too!! My husband’s cousin asked me if I was "having my breast off "… I could have hit her!
She has had breast cancer… you’d think she’d know better … although she hadn’t had her breast off!!!
QRT x
When talking about my impending mx someone asked me if this ‘new one would be my favourite?’
This woman (lets call her Stupid for short) constantly asks me inappropriate questions and makes flippant remarks, she works with me and so i decided that the next time i wouldn’t make light of a comment because she would just keep doing it. So:
‘So will your new one be your favourite?’
‘It’s not going to be a real boob Stupid’
‘But will it be your favourite one?’
‘No - it’s not a real one Stupid’
‘Yes, but will it be your favourite one?’
‘Stupid, its not going to be a boob, its not one’
‘I know but -’
At ths point someone tactfully cut in and asked me about holidays, Stupid slunk off.
“i thought you would be doing the race for life today” … well i have done the last couple of years but just because ive had cancer doesnt mean i have to do it every year!!
Great thread has really made me smile Thankyou!!!
I know what you mean have had all the “brave” “positive” "You look really well! comments but one of the best was a work colleague who said At least you haven’t lost all your eyebrows thay are just a bit thinner!! Bald as an eagle, mouth full of ulcers, but hey I’ve got about 10 eyebrow hairs? so how can I possibly be anything but OK!!!
The strangest experience I had was at my bank.The cashiers are always trying to sell insurance of some kind.On the patricular day
I went in it was travel insurance.I managed to be served by an especially pushy cashier.When she asked would I like travel insurance
I replied it would not be of use to me.She repled it is very exstensive and will cover you worldwide.I explained it was not the destination,but due to illness.Her reply-oh we cover all illness.
I very calmy explained to her I had uncurable cancer so it would not be suitable.
Her reply - "do you have life insurance? "
At this point I just burst out laughing.
It was actually quite refreshing compared with the usual comments I get.My gp last week said oh I forgot you had that thing,you look so well.
The following week I went in to the bank and she asked if I would like a credit card-signed up immedeately!
Hi everyone, love this thread! Have just had a so called romantic dinner with other half, cos starting chemo on Tuesday, so had nice food and wine, but then started crying bout the whole thing. He said that I ve got to remain calm and dignified, I could have throttled him! He says I have to keep the whole stiff upper lip thing, when I m in bits crying out of his way locked in bathroom! Also, havent heard from my daughter whos only 10 mins. away for 5 weeks, since mastectomy, wish my best friend was here but she moved to Spain, but at least we talk twice a week. Even my surgeon said that I ve got a “good kind of cancer”, not sure bout that as its grade 3, but fortunately not in my lymph nodes, but I d rather not have it at all! I cant believe all the Kylie c**p I ve been told, somehow, when you re a NHS patient it doesnt seem the same! Think for me, cos I used to be a dancer, aka pole dancer its hit me cos I ve never seen one with just one boob, maybe a niche market there ha! I m just hoping that I ll be feeling well enough next week to get online. Best wishes and love, Lizzy x
P.S. Didnt mean that I m still pole dancing, I should be so lucky now I min my early 50 s, I was a dancer 25 years ago and kept it up just for excercise! Keeps you fit, but think I ll never be able to feel sexy ever again! And my nice new wigs wont stay on thru all that dancing! Lizzy x
Have been back at work for a few weeks now, but not yet managed a full day, am still suffering from lingering exhaustion and lack of energy. It is exactly a year since my first Chemotherapy treatment and these are some of the comments that have particularly got up my nose, so to speak.
Your body has gone through such a lot in the past year (from doctors, nurses, oncologist,friends and well meaning acquaintances)…
I KNOW!!! Too bl**dy right it has… chemo, lymph node removal and 5 weeks of radiotherapy… lost every hair on my body…I mean EVERY hair…fingernails and toenails dropping off and then the (residual effects) of all the different therapies…
You’ll have to get away for a few days…
Would love to have the energy for a holiday… must pack my factor 50 and keep out of the sun… ??? …don’t want the affected skin to burn…SUCH FUN!!!
Ooh I feel better for offloading that, thank you for listening. xx
Someone I knew who had to have a mole removed because it was cancerous once said to me, whenever I feel down about it I always think about you and how you are in a much worse position than I am and that always makes me feel better! Cheers mate!
Meggars, that would have me boiling! Just thought of a suitable reply:
“Yes, I know what you mean. When I’m having a bad day and look in the mirror, I think of you and how you look so much worse and I feel so much better.”
I know you’d never have the chance to say it and probably wouldn’t because you’re so “brave and strong and inspirational”, but you can think it to yourself next time you see that person and make yourself laugh. Then just pray they don’t ask you what you’re laughing about!
I made the mistake of saying yesterday, in my online journal, that I only had two more to go, but that only I could say that, and I was fed up with people saying how lucky I was I’ve had an easy time… silence… long silence… oops, said I… apology from my best friend (not needed) apology from my sister-in-law (not needed) - seems the cap fitted… but no-one liked me raising it. TOUGH TITTY!
Have loved this thread, thought I was the only one who felt like this.
Fed up with people saying how well I look, but they don’t see me when I’m feeling ill or down as I don’t go out.
Also don’t know why I always try to keep cheerful for friend and family so I don’t upset them, will definately have to ‘vent’ more.
And don’t think gps really understand what it’s like living with secondary cancer , they are not always as understanding as they could be.
Lynn x