yes i wish i had a pound for everytime I hear well at least you have the best type of cancer to have, my friend has come out with some corkers first one was!!!
well only the good die young, followed by oh dear you are good, and the latest, spoil yourself your a long time dead!!! ha ha you can only laugh
I go in cycles regarding my reactions to stupid comments, sometimes just shrugging them off, other times being unable to resist a sarcastic reply. At the moment Mrs Sarcastic is definitely ruling the roost! 
I am *sick* to death of people saying that breast cancer is a *good* cancer to get! So I’ve started responding with 'cancer is cancer, no matter what type it is. When I was dx I didn’t sit there thinking ‘thank god it’s only breast cancer!’
Strange thing is that this shuts most people up. . .
I think my OH is hoping that xmas spirit will click in shortly and that I will go back to just giving people either the ‘Paddington’ or ‘Mr Spock’!
Nymeria x
i like the idea of the spock stare, but does it still work if you have no eyebrows?
i also have been told i have the best cancer to have???
Gillx
OH has just said that if I want to go the whole hog what I should say to people who say bc is a ‘good cancer’ is - ‘tell that to my poor aunt who is in a hospice dying of bc!’
If I get annoyed enough I might just do so, especially if they catch me on a day when I’ve been doing xmas shopping! 
Nymeria x
Here we go… The laugh is on me
I go out and look at other ladies with short hair, or those looking a bit lop-sided.
The other weekend I spotted a ‘baldy’ boldly showing her head. I accosted her and asked if she’d time to talk, and complimented her on her bravery in this cold weather.
She looked confused, so I took off my hat to show solidarity and said I was also on chemo.
Oh she said, mine is Alopecia.
I apologised and slunk away to find a hole to crawl into.
June
I sometimes think alopecia is worse, as we have more chance of it coming back AND we get more sympathy. I used to look at people with alopecia and wonder why they didn’t cover it up more-now I know they are just fed up to the back teeth with it all!
I’m afraid my answer to the breast cancer is the best one to get is that it wasn’t for my friend who died of it aged 30. That does tend to shut them up and hopefully make them think.
I know this has been said before, but I need to vent.
If one more person says to me “at least you have had your last chemo” when I feel like I have been run over by a bus, I shall scream. Loudly.
I get fed up with being told I look so well, my reply is I don’t feel it
Broadstairs and Krisse,
I know exactly what you mean! It was months before I could say with a bright (read manic) smile “And I feel well, too! For months people have been saying that, and I have felt <insert word=”" of=“” your=“” choice=“” here=“”>" Had really thought I would ping back to what passes for normal in my life just like that. So glad I had not followed advice and got booked up with “celebratory holidays” that I would not have been fit for.</insert>
Hi Lavendar Lassie
Thankyou, I know things will improve as time goes by, just wish it would hurry up! I should have been flying off to the Maldives this week on my delayed honeymoon :(. I remember when I was diagnosed the Onc said well you could still go, your chemo will be over by then. Um, finished chemo last week and would rather have hair and preferably two boobs when I go on the holiday of my lifetime. Thanks all the same.
Can relate to many of those daft things that people say. Could grit my teeth and attempt a wry grin first time around in 2009 but now I have secondaries and going through chemo again (and sadly no s-ding light at the end of this tunnel)I refuse to do it any more. Had a Christmas card from an ex-colleague saying you must make a New Year’s resolution to… to… THINK POSITIVE! aaarrrhhh!!! I didn’t tell her to “think positive, you can beat this” etc etc when her husband was diagnosed with dementia. WHY do people say such things?
ps and my head is still NOT a nice shape for the baldy look!
Oh dear. Merry Christmas all x
When people tell me I look great I usually say (with a rueful smile) ‘yes, it’s amazing what a bit of slap can do isn’t it?’ Speaking as a make-up artist I would know!
That said, on really crappy days Garnier’s BB cream does actually help quite a bit. Although I have to say that I don’t bother much with anything other than moisturiser most days and I do wonder what planet they are on those days when I know I look pretty sh**te!
Nymeria x
ETA - the other day I was on the phone to my mum and said I’d been feeling really down. She said ‘oh, you have to think positively otherwise you’ll never get fully better!’ I swear they could hear the sound of my eye roll in the Outer Hebrides!
There’s lots of different ways of “saying” things aren’t there? I received a round robin Christmas letter by email yesterday. No problem with that - I’d sent them one. The covering email said “thank you for your annual roundup, which we thoroughly enjoyed reading”. REALLY??? You enjoyed reading that I’ve had cancer??? twat! Jane
Gijane, Honestly!!! No thinking.
Im in middle of chemo fog nd someone said to me ‘oh, its just like a hang over and at least chemo is doing you good’. I know what it is like, this is my 29th chemo, AND you just cant compare to a hang over. I was not sure what to say!!
Sadie Xx Xx
My mother:
This week we found out that a friend of my sister has been diagnosed with bowel cancer. Yesterday she said to me “Oh, it’s terrible i think that’s worse than BC” After a few moments I asked her why and she said “i can’t think of anyone who hasn’t died from it” I just said that there isn’t a good type of cancer to get. I couldn’t be bothered to say anything else.
Sadie: Chemo does you good? Cr@p! Chemo sucks, it does you just slightly less harm than it does to the cancer cells, and that’s as good as it gets, the idea is it kills them faster than it kills you and that’s a fairly fine balance. It’s carefully titrated poison. Does you good, my eye. You take it because you’ll probably die if you don’t. I mean, we will all die anyway, but it keeps you alive a bit longer, if you call it living.
Slendablenda, Your mum is half right: “I” haven’t died of bowel cancer yet - or BC either. yet. - but she’s completely wrong that the cancer of an acquaintance is worse than the cancer of her daughter. And she’s totally, totally wrong and out of order to tell you so to your face, whatever she thinks privately.
nymeria: “bit of slap” LOL - and can also be applied liberally and none too gently to those who make these durned stupid comments!
GIJane: when you email to tell your “friend” what an unthinking twat she is, being glad about your chemo, remember to use the “Reply all” button so all her friends know she’s a twat too. One good blunder deserves another.
On Christmas Day someone arrived who had shaved his hair as some kind of fashion statement so that half was a No 1 and the other half a No 4 or thereabouts. It has to be said, it did look good on him - quirky but he carried it off well. Someone else said those infmaous words I have come to hate so much “ooh, he has a lovely shaped head” I was surprised how livid I was to hear that phrase again, even in relation to someone else. I did say ‘I hate that phrase’ but the person who said it couldn’t see where I was coming from. Hey ho.
After the hols I have to give in and get my one year’s growth cut into a proper shape, losing my crazy curls and getting used to yet another look!
Well, in a fit of something-or-other, I replied to my friend without considering much, that I was surprised they’d enjoyed reading I’d got cancer… Christmas Day came their reply, that he hadn’t meant that, he’d enjoyed reading the END of my letter, and his wife was a survivor of both breast cancer (30 years ago) and cervical cancer (5 years ago) and they knew all about the journey/process. THey are glad I’m also a survivor and their daughter’s got chronic mental health problems and is in the MH unit over Christmas. Somehow it’s all my fault for saying anything!!! So… in a fit of Christmas Spirit… I apologised… but…
Had my father in law for dinner over the festive season. I wore my wig but had to keep going upstairs to take it off cos it makes me itch. When he had gone home I took it off and said to my hubby it was a relief. He replied he didn’t think his dad would have minded if I hadn’t wore my wig. I said sometimes it not about other people it’s about what I feel comfortable with.