KTF,
Sometimes there are times when fine answers all …
FINE = Feeling Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional
It’s a way of saying how you really feel without upsetting. I know I’ve had quite a few “fine” times over the past few months!
Ax
A well meaning acquaintance asked me how I was (this was early on just after surgery) and instead of saying fine, fine…I replied “I’m scared Sh****ss”
luckily even tho her english is excellent (we are in france) I dont think she understood what I meant…
anyway …she promised to pray for me.
Now (sorry believers) I am a total agnostic and in a previous life I would have been annoyed about that but now …i just thought…well if thats how people believe they can help …
Before bc I was useless with what to say …my English neighbour’s mother was diagnosed with bc …by the time I saw her…she was through surgery, radiotherapy etc and looked as she always did and I never mentioned it…just treated her as I always do…now I’m thinking…should I have said “How are you? In yourself?”
Hey Ho
Mary
In a large supermarket that starts with a T…took my prescription in and the lady said 'sorry, over 1/2 hr wait…I said that was too long as I can not stand for that amount of time. They said they would try nd be quick and I looked ok to her!!! Aghhhhhhhhh. I went elsewhere in a huff!
Sadie Xx Xx
Oh dear Sadie! You must have been wearing your LGFB make-up. People keep telling me i look well. Would love to see their faces if they saw me underneath all that slap with no eyebrows or lashes and big dark rings under my eyes!
Catherine xx
How you look matters not a jot if you FEEL like you’ve been hit by a truck. But then again, we’d complain if we spent lots of effort making ourselves look “normal” with the LGFB slap and the expensive wigs, only to have people tell us how dreadful we look! (Not that I ever put much effort in. If I drew my eyebrows on that’s about as much as I ever did, and didn’t bother with a wig at all. So the “you look so well!” comment was said with fingers crossed behind their backs, I reckon…
Can’t believe the woman in T’s comment though. Since when has she been an expert?!
I would love to share this thread on my FB page and just show certain people who are supposed to be friends what their well “intentioned” comments really mean.
I’m on my second round with breast cancer (IV chemo, both mx, radio etc first time). I’m on tablet chemo at the mo, keep being told that it’ll be so much easier this time…I’m almost starting believe it. Haha, yes, of course it is, likely to be on this “easier” medication indefinitely until it stops working (if it is indeed working) and then I’m likely to go through IV chemo again, and then well, who knows because “they’re bringing new treatments out all the time, aren’t they?”
The only one, I think, that gets it, is my OH…for that I am very grateful I have such a wonderful man. Otherwise I think I could quite easily commit murder 
KeepTheFaith, you hit on a very large group of *presumably* well=meaning people. I hesitate to rant about my second family but here goes, this one is my pet hate. And she asks me every single time she sees me, that’s about every sunday then 
“But WHY hasn’t your bad arm [i have LE] been completely healed?” (it’s one of the old chestnuts, prehaps she didn’t know that)
- Well, I guess God has his own perspective on all this, maybe he has a bigger purpose and plan for my future and I needed to get out of my old job in order to move on, maybe my tendency to lie, gamble steal, stay in bed all day, drink myself silly, or burst into tears, or my wish to kill you for your insensitivity, is a much bigger issue than a bit of fluid in my arm. At least the nasty little cells stopped dividing like crazy, credit where credit is due! Why don’t you go ask Him yourself and stop trying to make me feel guilty?
Bumped into an ex boyfriend today who said he heard I had been “a little bit poorly”. He then told me about his ex’s sister in law “who had the same thing”.
To be fair, I just thought about this thread and smiled to myself all the way home…
Oh gosh, forgot to say: the ex’s sister in law died. That was how the conversation ended!
Coza. how very sensitive!!!
My hairdresser who today shaved off all my sprouty OAP hair, told me I really did have a beautiful shapely head.Having read this thread I giggled a bit and returned the compliment. He is as bald as a coot!
He is also a superstar. Took me into a room away from passing trade and mirrors to do the deed and wouldn’t take a penny. Even sorted out my wig!
Catherine xx
A good friend whose wife died in January from motor Neurine disease., told me I must not to be selfish and expect my husband to retire from his Architectural practise. He had turned away work when his wife was ill and now regrets it!!! The reasoning…because when I am gone he would need good clients to keep him busy.! I explained I didn’t intend going just yet and my OH wants to do less as he is 65 . He has planned just to do his church and charity work pre my diagnosis and he won’t need the cash. the problem is my OH’s father kept "working "until he was 95 and everybody expects my husband to do the same.
Tact is not Roger’s middle name!!! I didn’t know whether to laugh or hit him.so I gave him a hug and a kick!!!
Cackles, no, Tact is not his middle name! And talk about projection…
Sister, on the phone, in week 3 of my 3rd 'EC: ‘Why didn’t you cook? You really ought to now that you totally healthy!’.
Talk about parallel universes - serves me right for playing down what chemo does to you…
On my Facebook page: ‘Thinking of you. Is the treatment effective?’
Words fail me!
Catherine
my brothers girlfriend when i phoned him to say i had been dx with bc. I got her on the phone.
oh ‘f’ sake (she swears alot). did they say how long you’ve got?
i said, no they can treat it.
she said oh so your ok then?
(he’s not with her anymore)
Telling friends about lopsided boobs due to bilateral WLE:
Friend - your ears are lopsided, can’t you think of your boobs like that??
Me - I was born with these ears, I’ve got lopsided boobs cos someone had to hack big lumps out of them to save my life, and that’s rather different.
No I didn’t say that, I just smiled and said not really.
got another one
my eldely neighbour came to see me after hearing that i was dx with bc.
she told me there was no point in worrying as my house would be here when i’m not.
the thing is she says that a lot when she sees me outside.
Vodka, what does that even mean ‘your house will be here when you’re not’?
For Feck’s sake!
I was wondering the same, what a bizarre thing to say!
i think she means that when i’m dead the house will still be here. my hubby and thought it was odd and wasn’t sure about it. maybe i should ask her the next time she says it to me!
Well. How comforting!
Is she suffering from mental issues?
C x