Oh grumpy - love the replies, particularly to first one having been in that position til last month! By the way, I am still delighted with my second mx. He who is the wonderful surgeon excelled himself again…Enjoy your Easter, don’t eat too much choccie!
Liz x
Liz
bless The Man - he’s soooo soooo good!!
so glad all went well with your op - let me know when you’re up for a coffee/lunch and we could organise something.
tried on bikini top today - looks OK-ish so that’s one worry taken care of!
grumpy
xxxx
Er Just a little thoughtless !!! MEN…
Day 13 after 1st fec and Hairs decided to leave me
ME- ( crying ) OMG its coming out by the handfall look …
HUSBAND - you knew it was going to happen
ME - Oh silly me thats ok then !!! or words to that effect
Me thinks he knew he had said the wrong thing as he made dinner no fuss tonight
Hugs to all x
Aw, Lottie, knowing it is going to happen doesn’t make it OK when it does.
My OH erred in the opposite direction, kept on saying “perhaps you won’t lose it” which a) meant he maybe couldn’t cope with a bald me (he did) and b) meant it had been a stupid thing to do to get my hair cut very short before chemo 1 so as to make the loss less awful (nothing stops us minding-and crying-but then we get on with it)
OH just pointed out that the Coop have Timotei shampoo on special offer - buy 1 get 2 free. Ha ha
We are all sensitive and someone only has to look at us in the wrong way and we get defensive. Nobody can relate to us and what we go through unless they’ve walked a mile in our shoes! I quote a phrase from Lance Armstrong’s book “I’m gonna kick this cancer in the butt and gonna win this fight”. That my dear is positive thinking so don’t be too hard on those who don’t “understand” or even know what we must be going through when they say things like keep positive… Negative thinking kills. Kills your soul, kills your sense of humour.
The fight continues.
Hehehe, Clare.
Did you get any? It IS a good deal…
I can cope with pretty black humour about my cancer and feel that it is really empowering to chase the bloody thing away with rowdy laughter. Just can’t bear people without cancer telling me that i need to be positive( i have bone mets )and keep fighting. I feel like fighting them!
Best wishes to you all, Louisa
Just found this thread. I am nearly 5 weeks post op so quite new to things. About to start chemo very soon.
Not read all but I just wanted to say that I’m so glad it’s not just me that is getting fed up with peoples uninspired comments and advice. You really do just have to grin and bear them I think. We all know these people often mean well and in their position what would you say yourself ? There is no easy way to deal with the news of cancer.
I firmly agree though that whingers will not be tolerated any more by me. also folks who bring their problems on themselves-grr!
My personal hate comment right now is people telling how they know someone else who’s gone through the same as me and they are fine now 6/8/ 10 years down the line…grrrrrr!
Oh and the “stay positive” things grates a bit.
I’ll get a whole new gamut of things people say to me that I hate soon if I am unlucky enough to loose my hair…joy! :0))
Then you will have a beautifully shaped head…
C xx
Just like mine…
and mine, nearly!
Show off! Hair!!
c x
wintersocks and superfit123,I’m dreading losing mine cause i know my head has several scars and two big cysts! gonna be gorgeous!!!
Louisa XXX
Amusing article in Guardian G2 today on this subject by Deborah Orr
guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/apr/18/10-things-not-say-when-ill?INTCMP=SRCH
Val
Absolutely brilliant. And some of the replies are pretty good too, with more ridiculous things people say. I agree with her responses to a lot of things, but so much depends not on WHAT is said but HOW it is said. I think the kindest thing for both the sayer and the sayee is to respond in the spirit in which it was meant, and maybe do a bit of educating, even if that education is just “that’s not a very good thing to say to someone who’s really rather sick, but thanks for caring.” (Or tell them to f*** off if they’re just being nasty!)
Incidentally I looked at her picture and think she might be someone I used to know in a past life as it’s not a particularly common name… how odd that would be!
The nurse at my chemo unit made me laugh today.
I was telling her that a mum at the school gate had said that I should be fine with getting injections etc because I must have ‘got used to needles by now’
The nurse was putting in a cannula, it was difficult just like it always is. When I told her about this woman’s comment she said ’ did you suggest to her that if you slapped her round the face every week she might eventually get used to it’
Sounds like an excellent plan - maybe I should give it a go :-))
Mx
Good for your chemo nurse! If only one could think up retorts like that on the spur of the moment! lol.
That’s so brilliant as you will notice she’s not *actually* suggesting that you should slap the stupid woman round the face, but she clearly is acknowledging that’s what you would both love to happen!
While also admitting she is not finding it easy to get the needle in today, although she struggles every time and the stupid woman would probably say she should be used to your veins by now!
I think her comment made me laugh so much that I relaxed, because the needle went in fine at the next attempt. So it was all good in the end :-))
Mx