that reminded me too Crawford the " its no longer a death sentense " said by a certain ex (GMTV) female TV presenter only few months back on Alan titchmarsh show.
I caught up with someone I hadn’t spoken to since just after my mx and during the course of conversation she asked if I had a list of places to go and things to experience ‘before it’s too late.’ Erm, no actually I’ve no intention of dying just yet thank you very much! Her response ‘don’t most people die of breast cancer these days? Surely you want to fit in as much as possible now?’
Sheesh, I know we are all for realism/honesty etc but that was just a bit too much!
Oh SLG - Forget annoying, you seem to get more than your fair share of totally crass comments!
CM & Meklar - I do have a very strong sense of the ridiculous and a black streak of humour, all of which have been drawn on and tested over the past few months. I think being born an Essex girl helps! Great fun when you don’t have a strong accent and live in Shropshire!
Dx
Oh Adi understand he’s your ex, but you are super woman, you did the race for life!
Pick up my grand daughter from childminders last night and she started to question me. " are you having a reconstruction cos they offered it to me when I had a lump removed( it was a cysist ) scary isn’t it ,but I don’t mind having one a little smaller than the other." my reply, " um it’s a little different for one I’ve had a mx and the other boob a 38 FF so a slight difference in size and it’s not a cysts but I’m triple negative so not the same odds" smiled sweetly and left. Oh I thought is she thick or what.
Oh and MIL don’t get me’ started!!!
I really love this thread - didn’t think I could be shocked, but every day I’m gobsmacked by some of the comments!
I’m in complete agreement with CM - it’s truly amazing what some people say! Every day I read something and do a double take.
Well ladies, most of my friends are good but its the same three who come out with the gems!! The “friend” who asked me if i was being dramatic did say a week after my hysterectomy (which was last year when we had the terrible snow before christmas). Your so jammy you, most of us are struggling into work nearly breaking our necks and your stuck at home in the warm under a quilt with your feet up!! I said trust me, I would rather be at work than at home after a hysterectomy when the heating has just packed in!
She is not a friend anymore, I have totally cut her out of my life as since having my cancer diagnosis, I want to only surround myself with nice people.
Amazing what you remember suddenly… The doctor I saw first at the chemo unit is someone I’ve chatted to in the corridors, and his opening line was “Oh Jane, I’ve been reading your notes and they make VERY upsetting reading”!!! I’ve “only” had stage 2… I think he was trying to be empathetic, but it kind of didn’t work!!!
I never fail to be amazed by the stories on here - I think I have been really lucky with mostly just the “but you look so well”, and “stay positive” (WTF!!!)comments, but I do have one friend, who tells me she won’t go for mamograms “just in case”(mind-boggling!)and insists on repeatedly asking when I will know if treatment has worked? Despite my explaining many times that the surgery has removed the cancer, and the chemo and rads are to make sure no stray cells have escaped, but I won’t ever know if that has worked unless it does come back, this seems to be too difficult a concept for her!
What a great thread, I haven’t laughed so much for ages.
My hair has started to grow in thick, dark and curley. I decided to put a dye through it and it turned gingerish. When I asked my OH “hows my hair coming along?” He said you look just like Prince Harry !!
I tolerated all the usual comments with fairly good grace on the whole I think - you’re so brave, you look so well, you must be positive etc, my only slightly acid reply was that a lot of make up and a good wig worked wonders. Now I get asked all the time if I am all clear and I do get fed up telling people I will never be told that but NED is good enough for me.
But the one that really got me was from my bank manager who told me about an investment that was for a 4 year period. She said it wouldn’t be of interest to me under the circumstances and she very clearly thought I was going to die. Needless to say I was determined to invest and prove her wrong. It matures quite soon, as I pointed out to her at our last meeting! And if it makes a profit (a big if, I suspect) I will really enjoy treating myself to something nice!
All the best
Anne
Actually GIJane, your comment from the medical team reminded me of something one of the bcns at my hospital said to me. I told her that the consultant has agreed that I can have a bilateral if thats what I feel is best for me. Bearing in mind I have no node involvement and no vascular involvement, she said I hope you realise that this doesn’t stop the cancer coming back in another part of the body!! Ok if I had asked her that, fine give me the honest answer but to volunteer that really was insensitive. But what made me laugh was the same nurse had told me I didnt need chemo as it would be seen as over treatment, so work that one out! I am going in on Friday for another lumpectomy to see if they can get clear margins this time. I WILL be telling the consultant what she said and asking why she felt it necessary to say something which I found quite frankly upsetting and unnecessary.
Nymeria I think I would have slapped her 
strange how some things said go from one extreme of “oh you’ll be fine” … to the point of make the most of life cos you wont be here long grrrrrrr 
my sister and i arnt that close but when talking to her at the weekend on the phone, she commented that mum had told her my husband was having next week of work… i have my first tax tomorrow so he will be home to care for all my needs… ANYWAY, sister said " hope you have good weather when hes off then you can do something nice together"!..deep breathe from me x
Sitting round the sunday lunch table and my mil opens the conversation by saying “so are you in remission”. I have secondary bone and lungs, i am 12 chemos in and counting!! What a question. Hard to answer in the middle of a roast. My kids faces!!!
Sadie Xx Xx
Tee Hee Mekalar - sadly she was on the phone otherwise I might have been tempted! That’s one person who’s off the xmas card list!
I am still amazed at the insensitivy of so many people! Anyway here’s my contribution. When asked how I was by my ex-MIL who is getting more ill/elderly/eccentric after telling me just how ill she’s been I told her just how awful the chemo (3FEC and 3T) has been and she replied that I was being a martyr to it! Well she did ask, I wouldn’t have volunteered details. I am still talking to her…took a couple of weeks and reminding myself just how long we have been friends.
Bev xxxxx
My neighbour yesterday, we were talking about how it had affected my 7 year old daughter and she said “well if the worst does happen and you die of it, your daughter needs to be prepared”.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I know she means well but…
That was an awful thing to say. Avoid this stupid woman for a while.