So … it’s grade 2 IDC with DCIS , axillary lymph node was clear ER- HER2 not back yet .
Because it’s quite large I’m told I’m most likely looking at mastectomy which I’m sort of at peace with tbh , I just want it gone .
Breast surgeon was lovely and said all the usuals about it being treatable etc but said I’m potentially looking at a year of treatment .
She wanted me to have the second area of calcification biopsies by mammogram guided biopsy and incision as she’s keen to get results back quickly but the radiographer said no as I’m on blood thinners so that’s booked in for next weds .
She said treatment won’t start till probably end of August and told me to go off and enjoy my birthday weekend .
There was a shadow on my right breast but I had another mammo and scan and the radiographer said it all looked healthy to him . He was quite breezy saying not to panic about waiting for the second biopsy but obviously my mindset is … get it out now !
The breast surgeon said I think you need a cup of tea and I was taken through to a little room and a lovely nurse made me and my husband a cup of hot sweet tea !
Everyone was lovely but it all feels surreal
@arty1 thanks for letting us know how you got on. Great that the lymph node is clear! At least you know now what needs to be done. A year feels like a ridiculously long time but try and think of it in blocks of time - surgery, chemo, etc. Try and enjoy your evening xx
That’s perfect. And don’t feel guilty for her emotions around it. Of course she has them. My daughter cried, too. But there is no lasting trauma around it. She had to pitch in and help as did my older daughter, I remained cheerful and confident around them and when I couldn’t, I hid, and neither think about it anymore. I do But they don’t and that’s exactly what I want. You’ve done great so far and you will continue to do great once you know everything and they will be fine. Bad shit happens. That’s life. But it can be an opportunity to become closer and learn things and that’s what I focused on.
@arty1 I agree. Looking at the whole treatment process is too overwhelming I find. I’m looking at the chemotherapy, subdivided into the first 3 treatments of EC, then 3 of Docetaxel. Once that is finished I will pull the surgery from the back of my head where it’s been lurking, then the radiotherapy etc…
@arty1 Glad that you finally have your results and good news that the Lymph node is clear.
Its strange how time slows down when youre waiting, and this seems to go from waiting for one thing to another. One day at a time sounds like a good plan.
I hope you have something nice planned for your birthday weekend x
Great @arty1 you have your results and a treatment plan. Nobody wants to hear they have bc but it can be treated.
You may want to consider joining the monthly chemo starters group, I found it helpful to read others experience in previous months and then when I joined you support each other during that part of your treatment.
Enjoy your holiday, there’s nothing more you can do now. Although I accept you haven’t had all your results back (HER2+, which I have and will most likely involve more treatment alongside your chemo if it’s positive)
It’s such a worrying time. I start chemo on Monday and have told by 15 yr old and 18yr old. They’ve been great but it’s been very difficult to keep it together. I’ve chosen not to tell anyone outside of immediate family until I get going on my treatment
Thank you x
It’s hard telling kids but since I told them and they had a few tears , they seem ok .
We’ve been away since Thursday visiting family which is a nice distraction
Yes , it’s weird … I feel like I still don’t have all the answers as now I need another biopsy and the agonising wait for those results too - all the while I just want them to get this cancer out !
We always go to a festival for my birthday so I’ve that to look forward to x
Thank you x
I’ve a second biopsy (mammogram guided ) needs … so then it’s a wait for the results of that too
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The letter from my consultant seems to indicate they are planning mastectomy first but until all the results are back I don’t know x
There’s no law that says you have to tell people other than family - this is your journey and no one else’s x
Wishing you all the best for chemo starting , it’s frightening I know but you are now attacking this unwelcome guest and hopefully serving it it’s notice very soon !
Welcome to the forum. As has already been said, it’s up to you who and if you tell people. It’s your diagnosis it’s your decision.
Depending where you live, where you may work and if you loose your hair ( wigs, scarves and hats can hide so much) it may get out there.
A friend of a family member heard that I’d had the ‘Big C’ and they live miles away. Very old term, I had cancer! I used to teach at a couple of local schools and have told some people, not anyone who I think knows their family, but they found out. It wasn’t a secret but it’s surprising how things spread!
There are a few links I thought might be helpful navigating BCN and the monthly chemo starters if you wish to join with other lovely people going through treatment at the same time.
Website: You can register for our services. Or find our publications, more information and support or how to volunteer. It’s all here.
Helpline: 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm). Speak to our trained helpline team. No questions are too big or too small.
Ask Our Nurses: You can message our nurses here on the forum, or confidentially. Whatever you prefer.
Someone Like Me: Will match you with a trained volunteer who’s had a similar experience to you. They’ll be a phone call or email away to answer your questions, offer support, or simply listen. Call on 0800 138 6551 or contact our email volunteers
Younger Women Together: For people 45 and under. You can choose the support that suits you: online, one day or 2 day residential events. Find an event.
Moving Forward: Finishing treatment can be hard, and it can be difficult to move forward with your life. You can access our support online or face-to-face. Our online information hub and Moving Forward journal provide extra ideas and information. Courses run over 2 weeks, with 2 3.5hr sessions. Or trained facilitators and volunteers are there to help. Find a course near you.
Publications: Download and order publications. You can read online or order your copy for free. From managing menopausal symptoms, hormone treatment or triple negative breast cancer, our information is here for you.
BECCA: Our free app is your pocket companion to primary breast cancer.
Speaker Live: sessions are on every month. They focus on the topics that matter to you, lead by expert speakers from across the UK. You can register for one of our webinars, and watch it live, or as a recording. We also have Facebook and Instagram Live sessions run by our clinical team on a huge range of topics. You can find them all on YouTube
Secondary breast cancer is full of uncertainties. But you can count onLiving with Secondary Breast Cancer to be there for you, no matter what. You’ll be able to talk, listen and learn with people who understand the challenges that secondary breast cancer brings. Our groups are open to people with a secondary diagnosis. Monthly sessions, facilitated by a therapist, are held in a variety of locations across the UK and online. Find a group. And if you are 45 or under? Our Younger Women with Secondaries Together events provide information and support
LiveChat: Open to people with a secondary diagnosis. A private chat room where you can talk to others in a similar situation.
Access Fund – all our events are free, but if you need help getting there or accessing our services, let us know. Email us at accessfund@breastcancernow.org or call 0345 077 1893.
I’ve just found out my cancer is Er and Pr- HER2+ so my consultant said I can remain on a low dose of hrt until they get the results from surgery … which is a relief as I’ve felt terrible coming off it…
They are still waiting for the results of a third biopsy on a third lot of calcifications and I’ll get those next week with hopefully a plan going forward .
I’m assuming it will mean chemo after surgery but I won’t find out until next week
Hi, I just saw your post. I’m new here and finding my way. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer on Thursday last week. I am beside myself. I’m 46 with three children and I cannot stop crying. I’m trying to find positives but I was taken aback when they said stage 3 and I just can’t seem to handle it. I just wanted to message cause I know how you feel as a mum xo
I’m so sorry, Sam. We all know the horror of first getting diagnosed. Do you have any questions or anything else we can help you with? If it’s a comfort to know this, you’re in the midst of the worst part of the process. Once a plan is in place you get a much needed sense of control back and with that a little bit of peace.
@arty1 I’m pleased you have some information and a plan. I like you had more biopsies so waited longer. The results didn’t change the plan for me.
@sam3 I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, your feelings are understandable. This forum is so supportive. See my previous post for lots of links on the website. We will be with you through your treatment.
Thank you so much. I have so many questions but I’m afraid to ask some of them. I guess I’m scared that stage three is super bad. I’m also scared that the scans will say worse. I have cried all day, I can’t contain it. I’m just so scared of not being with my three children, they need me xo
I’m so sorry - your feelings are completely normal , my consultant wrote in my post appointment letter … that I was upset by the diagnosis … I thought how bizarre … of course I’m upset !
I felt like I’d been punched in the chest when my consultant said I had cancer at the initial appointment… after she said cancer , everything else sounded like white noise . At my results appointment I knew I was getting a confirmed cancer diagnosis and I burst into tears when she said I needed more biopsies as I panicked that all this extra time was holding things up …. The strange thing is … it’s only 4 weeks on Friday since my referal appointment……
Everything seems to move slowly during the information gathering stage … every day feels hellish … the intrusive thoughts take over your head and it’s hard to function ……. Throw in coming off hrt into the mix and it’s no wonder you feel so distraught …
As mums we always put our children first and a diagnosis like this feels terrifying … we worry if we will see our children grow up … get married … this is all normal …combined with the guilt of our children seeing us go through treatment … maybe not able to do as much as we’d hoped with them
. I’ve cried many tears of worry and frustration …
My children are managing ok with my diagnosis at the moment and we’ve nicknamed my left boob the naughty nork and while I’ve been honest with my children , esp my 14 year old daughter about the fact that I’m upset and angry that I may need a mastectomy . I’ve also tried to talk about it in a way that won’t frighten them by explaining that if I have to lose a boob , this needs to be done and I’ll be perfectly fine without it .
Cancer has dominated my family recently but I remind them that their 75 year old grandmother lives with stage 4 lymphoma and is well and enjoying life .
Have you been assigned a breast care nurse ? I’ve found the ones at my hospital are fantastic … I call if I have a query and they are so kind and encourage me to be honest about how I’m feeling at the moment .
I can recommend the BCN helpline too , I called when I was first told I might have cancer and the nurse I spoke to was amazing at reassuring me .
Please don’t panic about it being in the nodes , I was told it’s the first place BC tends to travel as the lymph nodes are so close to the breast tissue … it doesn’t mean it’s gone any further though . Your team will be putting the appropriate treatment together for you , remember BC has so many amazing treatment pathways now - despite my own fear , I have several friends still very much alive and well after having breast cancer years ago and I know at least one had it in her nodes , she’s still here 11 years later …
Don’t Google … you will terrify yourself to death … a lot of the information is outdated , stay on the forum and get up to date info . Macmillan forum is also excellent .
Sending you lots of love , a cancer diagnosis is something none of us wants or expects and it can feel like you are in some strange parallel universe x
I don’t get the treatment plan until next Tuesday but it might change now the HER2 is back as my breast care nurse said they haven’t had the MDT meeting yet but I was told mastectomy if latest biopsy showed multifocal, its frustrating waiting for the extra biopsies isn’t it
But they don’t and that’s exactly what I want. You’ve done great so far and you will continue to do great once you know everything and they will be fine. Bad shit happens. That’s life. But it can be an opportunity to become closer and learn things and that’s what I focused on.
