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Well that was a bit of a shocker!

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Thanks for the update. Hope your skin is not too irritated. I start tomorrow and am looking forward to the opportunity to walk along the Southbank in London as getting bored of the local scenery. It felt strange and impersonal at the hosp last week with everyone in masks etc and with all the testing. I'm the first person I know to be tested for Covid 19 routinely (yay! the test was negative). Today's walk will be for some moisturiser...

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Well I have had three sessions and rested on Friday. It was alright and I think mentally knowing that you are having radiotherapy makes you emotionally tired long with a weirded tired sensation.

i have a slight tingly and intermittent prickly sensation and in between my breast has gone dry, dark and slightly flaky, this is probably based on the location of the cancer, top of my breast and below my should blade. I might take a picture but don't want to freak out anyone. A nurse will be looking at it to find an alternative cream to help keep my skin moisturised; but I am in good spirits.

 

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

You make me laugh 😄, I'm there too.  I will definitely share my experience. I want to take time off but I love being busy. I will take advice from ones one the forum - I need 'me time', find something to do, get a hobby rather than spreadsheets and databases!

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Hi

I like that too!

My radio planning appt was cancelled last minute but should now take place next week. I think the radio itself will start around 19th so I'd like to hear how you get on if you're happy to share. I definitely don't feel guilty being off work - I worked so hard last year it was nuts, had little free time and was knackered. I'm loving time to sit in the sun now but I've realised my superpower could be sitting!!! I had surgery just before lockdown and feel I've missed out on the whole 'cancer experience' as all followup appts etc happened in 2 minute phonecalls. Think I'm still in denial. And happy to stay there 🙂 

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Cancer becomes something on the fringes of your life not central to it ..... I like that!

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Community Champion

Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

I'm actually just coming up to my 5 th anniversary of diagnosis ! Had another cancer diagnosis since then and other health issues but currently cancer free 🤞🤞.I still remember very vividly how it felt and affected me .I got a lot of support from this forum and I'm still friends with a small group of ladies I met through the forum.I went through the radiotherapy department to go for a scan last week - first time in 5 years - gave me pain in my gut can still come babk and hit you sometimes  - but life really does move on and cancer becomes something on the fringes of your life not central to it . 

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

How are things now with you?

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Member

Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Read this again - thank you xxx

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Community Champion

Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Never a more important time to look after you and just accept work will wait - its only a couple of weeks but it's an investment in your future .

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

My appointments through!

A bit of a shock, I had a call around 1 to have been told that my radiotherapy will be next Tuesday-Thursday and then the following week, Monday and Tuesday. Now the stupidest-thing that came into my mind was that I have a number of meetings until the end of the month I need to attend and deadlines to be met!!! I just felt so guilty, I really need to change my way of thinking and start to look after myself. Is it just me or does anyone else like me?

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Community Champion

Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

We understand and we are here to listen .It was a sanity saver for me when diagnosed to talk to people who really understood what it felt like .The additional chaos makes everything so much harder .I was a mess when first diagnosed - anxiety palpitations insomnia - my GP was lovely he said don't ever underestimate the impact of being faced with your own mortality it really makes you feel vulnerable indeed .

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Thank you so much - what a strange time we find ourselves with others suffering in a different way with covid-19 to the point that I feel guilty to talk about my cancer. I am not alone waiting for radiotherapy but I just don't talk to anyone about it.  This has changed me, I didn't think it would. I thought I was indestructible and now realise and appreciate that there is a network of people like you, out there will only know what I am going through xxxxx

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Re: Walsgrave Hospital

Thank you for your kind words.  I am on letrozole and have read that it can effect your sex drive, I find that extremely worrying. I am aware that it can affect everyone differently but i am concern about my wellbeing going forward.  I will contact my Oncologist for more information and consider alternatives early into my treatment.

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Re: Walsgrave Hospital

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Re: Walsgrave Hospital

Im glad you feel better after having your treatment explained .There will be plenty of information in the hormone therapy section of the forum if you want to look there - most of us are or have been on Tamoxifen or AIs (Letrozole /Anastrozole) .x 

 

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Walsgrave Hospital

I am fine having had my treatment explained and being mad was me trying to find a way of releasing my frustrations - the staff at Walsgrave were brilliant, cannot fault them.  I now need to research Into the tablets I now need to and radiotherapy.  My husband feels uncomfortable that I have to have both.

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

I wouldn't even know how to rotate a picture 😳I never told my elderly Dad and kept it to a very select few friends and my brother - that made it easier in some ways and harder in others - keeping it a secret is a strain but telling people and dealing with their feelings /reactions is also very hard .Cancer is a loneky experience no matter how much support you have as it's very very hard for others to understand how it feels .Its even harder amongst all this chaos .You are not alone in this there are lots of us who understand - either having been through it and come out the other side or going through it alongside you .Please come and vent when you need to . Jill x

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

I'm so mad that I can't be bothered to rotate my picture!

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Well that's interesting! I still haven't told my parents either, imagine the stress. I went to see my GP in August, went to the clinic, they said that all was fine, I must have bruised my breast....WHAT! but I wasn't happy.  Went back again in January, I was a pain - I can feel the lump and eventually had a biopsy - results 30th Jan with grade 3 cancer.

 

Its now removed (had a lumpectomy) and tomorrow due for a session pre radiotherapy.....my anger has kept me going. Supposing I didn't go with my gut instinct, where would I be now?

 

I have to suppress my feelings in front of my husband and three teenage boys and feel alone on this crazy journey especially during this crazy time......roll on tomorrow!

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Hi EllieStar

 

Glad you are doing ok.  As you start to get your head around the information provided it gets a bit easier but its a very steep learning curve.  I added the story of my reconstruction to my blog if you want to have a read.  It’s a tough call.  Living with one breast feels less bad than not getting rid of the cancer.  Sometimes I could switch off from it a bit but mostly didn’t feel good about myself and felt better after my reconstruction.  Everyone copes with it different but one thing is discovered from the experience is whether you feel your breasts strongly define you as a woman and for me I think they do.  I don’t think its something we choose just like sexuality isn’t a choice.  It just is.  I found the prosthetic to be annoying; heavy, made me feel sweaty, swapping it between bras in a hurry was a bit of a pain but you get on with it.

 

I hope your appointments go well and once you have your treatment plan in place you can chat with others going through the same on the “going through treatment” thread on this forum.. I found this really helpful.

 

 

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Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Thanks @mai7 for the reply. 

 

Was at the hospital yesterday and they need to do an MRI as they're unsure if it's 2 lumps or if what they can see on the u/s & mammograms is actually the 2 ends of 1 bigger lump. (It's in an awkward place) 

 

I left feeling more settled with the information they were able to give me but at this point all treatment options (other than neo-adjuvant chemo) are still on the table. 

 

I can see from one of your posts that you had a delayed reconstruction. Can I ask if you'd mind sharing a bit about that? Trying to get my head round what it may be like just having 1 boob for a while! 

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Community Champion

Re: Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Hi ElliesStar,  Welcome to the forum but sorry you find yourself here in the club none of us wanted to join.  It’s really tough at first.  I felt bad giving loved ones news that would make them sad and I agree maintaining positivity helps them to cope.  It certainly did for me.   The COVID19 social isolation makes treatment/appointments a bit more awkward to navigate but if you end up having chemo the way you live is very similar to social isolation rules.  I had stage 3 breast cancer in March 2017 and after chemo, surgery and radiotherapy I’m still here and doing very well.  It’s going to be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster but I can assure you that you can still get through it whether you laugh or cry so don’t feel you have to bottle things up all of the time.

 

Here’s my story which you may find some comfort from as well as some useful information:  http://lifeafterlola.com/

 

Best wishes to you and your family on Mother’s Day. Xxx

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Well that was a bit of a shocker!

Hi all. 

 

Found a lump coming up 4 weeks during my cycle. Saw GP next day who referred for urgent appointment. Long story short I managed to get a same day cancellation last Wednesday. 

 

As the lump is soft, moveable and has decreased in size since my period I went along fully expecting to be told it's all fine. And indeed when the Consultant examined me she said it feel like a cyst or lipoma. 

 

Two hours later after mammograms and ultrasounds and the Consultant is stood atcthe end of the bed saying "there are two lumps and one is definately cancer". 

 

They took 4 biopsies and put in 2 clips rady for surgery and I'm back tomorrow (hopefully) for the grade results and to discuss the plan of attack. The surgeon did say she wants to get me in ASAP before Covid19 becomes a real problem in our area.

 

As a single Mum to 2 girls (11 + 14) I've had to get friends on board quickly so that kids, dog etc are all sorted when when needed and my friends have been amazing. 

 

I've not been able to tell my parents yet. Dad has cancer and Mum has had cancer. They're isolating due to the virus and I know they won't cope well with the news and won't cope well that they can't do anything to help. I'm hoping (realistically or not) to be able to hang off telling them until I've had my surgery. 

 

Next big hurdle is telling the kids tomorrow after my appointment. I know they'll be upset. I also know they will be fine as long as I maintain the positivity. 

 

All that being said, I've had the mood swings from hell since Wednesday. From rage to tears to sadness. I'm not scared. I'm sad about lots of aspects. I get moments of just being utterly overwhelmed by it all but just trying to stay on that steady line as  much as I can. 

 

Sorry for the ramble. Wanted to offload a bit this morning. My mothers day breakfast and pressies have set me off again lol 

 

Jx